Vandenbroucke Hopeful to Keep His Contract
 

Vandenbroucke Hopeful to Keep His Contract
Despite being a pussy and finishing the second stage of the Four Days of
Dunkirk, Frank Vandenbroucke (MrBookmaker.com) will not take part in the
third stage because bike racing is a really hard sport and he didn't want to
risk exposing himself for being the pussy that he really is. Team manager
Hilaire Van der Schueren told BFD, "It was planned that Frank would give up
after two days. We stuck to that because Frank likes giving up. Frank
didn't ride badly today, but crashed when he went to get his bike from the
bike rack and then had two punctures. But he made progress, and that offers
us more prospects of trying new drugs in the future."

Vandenbroucke said that he was "not dissatisfied with these two days. We'll
see how it goes, but I hope to keep my lame ass contract for a few more
days. I know that I'm at the end of the road because I'm utterly devoid of
all feeling or understanding or desire, with no idea of what I'm doing, or
why. In this state of mind, I'm unable to even write a decent postscript to
a suicide note, it's clear that I'm not employable at any level of the
social order or disorder. And, in this drug induced haze, the only other
****job I could even think about trying for, is either the job where I get
caught injecting myself with highly concentrated horse tranquilizer or the
job where I join a consulting firm whose motto is "We give up!"

Source: http://www.cyclingnews.com/news.php?...y05/may06news1



Disclaimer

Everything in this posting is parody. No endorsements by any company or
person parodied is intended or inferred. The people, events and
corporations mentioned on this site are completely fictional and bear no
resemblance to anyone or anything, living, dead or neo-conservative.
Anything bearing any resemblance to anything else anywhere in the universe,
including alternate timelines or planes of reality, are the result of
circumstances defined by advanced mathematical models beyond our ability to
control or understand. As for the rest, everything true is true, and
everything false is done for the purpose of satire, defined as "irony or
caustic wit used to expose or attack human folly" (American Heritage
Dictionary, 4th ed. abr., 2001), and defined by lawyers as protected speech,
so get over it already. You use this posting at your own risk; we will
accept no responsibility for any injury, mental or physical, to yourself or
others, directly or indirectly caused by reading this posting. By viewing
this posting you agree that it is not real and all just a big joke.