Bicycling and Divorce
 

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

It works MUCH better than therapy. But then I tend to take everything in stride and others may not have the same reaction.

Bicycling and Divorce
 

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

So you have a partner and you want to this and she wants to do that
and you can't agree....

Sounds like two small kids playing in the sand box and they both want
ALL the toys.

Grow up a bit.

Bicycling and Divorce
 

"F.K." wrote in message ...

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great

Bicycling and Divorce
 

On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"F.K." wrote in message ...

On Monday, July 24, 2000 12:00:00 AM UTC-7, Brian D. Potter wrote:
Looking for anecdotal evidence: what effect does cycling have on
spousal/intimate relationships? First, how many cyclists out there are
divorced? Second, did cycling have anything to do with that
circumstance? I'll be the first to answer: "me" to the second and "no"
to the third. However, for those who want to take the inquiry one step
further, how has cycling affected current relationships, positively
and/or negatively? Again, I'll go first. Cycling doesn't really put a
time strain on my current relationship, but it occasionally creates
problems with the where, when, and how far. For instance, we have a
demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but
with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is a
novice cyclist who isn't quite ready for prime time, so we have had to
make alternate arrangements. On some occasions, this has led to
tension.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension,
disappointment? Does it work well as therapy? Do intact couples use
cycling to increase family coherence? Does it ever cause division?

I am not doing official research, nor am I publishing results.

[Note: please contribute your own stories, if you like, or any relevant
observations, generalizations, etc. I'm not looking for feedback on the
experiences related above. This is purely curiosity--for those of you
who don't wish to play, don't bother posting to say it's none of my
business. I already know that. Thanks in advance.]

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great


The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-)
--
Cheers,
John B.

Bicycling and Divorce
 

"John B." wrote in message
...

On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great

The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-)

Not everyone in the world is lucky enough to be NOT married like me.
However, the subject of this thread is interesting as I have known several
men who were into cycling and whose wives divorced them. The men were taking
their vacations doing week long bike tours without their wives. I think
separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead.

Men who like to bicycle and who want to stay married should not take
separate week long bike tours for their summer vacation. Either convince the
wife to come along or else forget about it.

Ed Dolan the Great

Bicycling and Divorce
 

On Thu, 6 Dec 2012 11:54:04 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
.. .

On Tue, 4 Dec 2012 00:07:51 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

We bachelor hermits never have any of the problems you note. I pretty much
do whatever I want whenever I want and it never even occurs to me to take
anyone else into consideration. God ... it must be awful to be married!

Ed Dolan the Great

The guy ain't even married and already he's got problems :-)

Not everyone in the world is lucky enough to be NOT married like me.
However, the subject of this thread is interesting as I have known several
men who were into cycling and whose wives divorced them. The men were taking
their vacations doing week long bike tours without their wives. I think
separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead.

Men who like to bicycle and who want to stay married should not take
separate week long bike tours for their summer vacation. Either convince the
wife to come along or else forget about it.

Ed Dolan the Great

I don't know. I've been married twice and to be frank, bicycle riding
was never a problem in either marriage. I currently ride about 20 Km
in the mornings, several times a week, and on Sunday do a 4 - 5 hour
"long ride" and my wife has never complained.

However, in both marriages there was always a bike available if the
wife wanted to ride so it was always a matter of "if you want to
come".

And on the other hand, I don't know why a bloke would be married and
NOT want to take his wife on his vacation :-)
--
Cheers,
John B.

Bicycling and Divorce
 

"John B." wrote in message
...
[...]

I don't know. I've been married twice and to be frank, bicycle riding
was never a problem in either marriage. I currently ride about 20 Km
in the mornings, several times a week, and on Sunday do a 4 - 5 hour
"long ride" and my wife has never complained.

However, in both marriages there was always a bike available if the
wife wanted to ride so it was always a matter of "if you want to
come".

And on the other hand, I don't know why a bloke would be married and
NOT want to take his wife on his vacation :-)

" I think separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead." -
Ed Dolan

You are just going for daily rides that would not be considered a
separation. She is probably glad to get you out of the house for a few
hours. The guys I am talking about would leave their wives for several weeks
at a time in order to engage in a bicycle safari. Very risky business if you
ask me!

" I think separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead." -
Ed Dolan

Ed Dolan the Great

Bicycling and Divorce
 

On Fri, 7 Dec 2012 11:21:53 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
.. .
[...]

I don't know. I've been married twice and to be frank, bicycle riding
was never a problem in either marriage. I currently ride about 20 Km
in the mornings, several times a week, and on Sunday do a 4 - 5 hour
"long ride" and my wife has never complained.

However, in both marriages there was always a bike available if the
wife wanted to ride so it was always a matter of "if you want to
come".

And on the other hand, I don't know why a bloke would be married and
NOT want to take his wife on his vacation :-)

" I think separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead." -
Ed Dolan

You are just going for daily rides that would not be considered a
separation. She is probably glad to get you out of the house for a few
hours. The guys I am talking about would leave their wives for several weeks
at a time in order to engage in a bicycle safari. Very risky business if you
ask me!

" I think separate vacations are almost always a sign of trouble ahead." -
Ed Dolan

I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their
wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my
marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some
sort of adversary sort of thing.
--
Cheers,
John B.

Bicycling and Divorce
 

"John B." wrote in message
...
[...]

I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their
wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my
marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some
sort of adversary sort of thing.

I don’t know of anyone who gets married for an adversarial relationship. But
the fact is that men and women are very different. There are damn few things
that men and women can do together and enjoy equally. Once this is
recognized, there is nothing wrong or untoward in letting one's mate do her
or his thing without interference. The family that stays together overly
much is destined for a shipwreck.

When it comes to cycling I recommend that men cycle with other men and that
women cycle with other women. That is the only way it is ever equally
enjoyable for both sexes. Tandem cycling is an abomination and was most
likely an invention of the Devil!

I am imparting this knowledge to you from 75 years of being not only a
bachelor, but a hermit besides. Only us hermits know anything worth knowing.
Everyone else has been corrupted by too much human contact. Experience is an
ugly thing and never worth the bother.

Ed Dolan the Great

Bicycling and Divorce
 

On Sun, 9 Dec 2012 21:40:17 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
.. .
[...]

I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their
wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my
marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some
sort of adversary sort of thing.

I don’t know of anyone who gets married for an adversarial relationship. But
the fact is that men and women are very different. There are damn few things
that men and women can do together and enjoy equally. Once this is
recognized, there is nothing wrong or untoward in letting one's mate do her
or his thing without interference. The family that stays together overly
much is destined for a shipwreck.

When it comes to cycling I recommend that men cycle with other men and that
women cycle with other women. That is the only way it is ever equally
enjoyable for both sexes. Tandem cycling is an abomination and was most
likely an invention of the Devil!

I am imparting this knowledge to you from 75 years of being not only a
bachelor, but a hermit besides. Only us hermits know anything worth knowing.
Everyone else has been corrupted by too much human contact. Experience is an
ugly thing and never worth the bother.

Ed Dolan the Great

Well your 75 years of no experience is hardly evidence of a great
knowledge of the state.

Your comment that "The family that stays together overly
much is destined for a shipwreck" may be true in Modern America but it
certainly wasn't the original concept. Originally marriage served the
purpose of (hopefully) ensured that any kids that the husband had to
support through their formative years were his and secondly it
provided a unit, call it partnership if you want, that was far more
capable of coping with life than a single person. Try going out and
plowing 40 acres and than coming home and doing the washing, ironing
and cook supper all by your self.
--
Cheers,
John B.