surfing on a unicycle, tips and tricks...
***
g'day
first off
you want to affect the right attitude
i'll be right back
***
surfing on a unicycle, tips and tricks...
***
look
people are going to talk to you
if you get past the basics
lot's of people are going to talk to you
get used to it
it won't go away
..
lot's of those people
are going to blather on
with the same crap
you've heard thousands of times before
and it can be hard
to be polite
but then
surfing on a unicycle
is that much fun
the good outweighs the bad
***
sore calves today
i had a good surf last night
not much in the way of fatigue durin
the
three hour or so
unicycle surfing adventure in the heart of the city
***
crowds
sooner or later
you're going to enter a crowd
the crowd is your wave
it ebbs and flows
and it's intelligent
well mostly
that first time
you set a goal
to get from here
to there
through the crowd
by unicycle
and achieve it
is mega
how did i do that ?
hundreds of people
all moving in different directions
and my self
surfing a unicycle through them
and i found all the gaps
in the human wave
and got through unscathed
magic...
***
beware of riding
with music to supply your beat
your body becomes attuned
if the music should stop
radio station blows up
cord pulls out
or something similar
you fall off the unicycle
too fast a transition
can be embarrassing
well
if you're bothered about crashing
***
to be a true master
of unicycle surfing
is to not be bothered about crashing
it's all about
conquering your fear
***
be careful with buses
they take a long time
to traverse a corner
you can be caught
by the tail end of the bus
rushing into the corner
to trap you
you'll never ride so fast in your life
believe me...
***
certain substances
i don;t recommend
it
even if i do it all the time
you understand
don;t do what i do
do as i say
yeah right...
***
if you're proving new territory
i.e.
no-one's gone nuts on a unicycle
in your chosen city
you are going to talk to a lot of officials
most of whom are going to be unhappy with you
chin up
and perservere
eventually
they'll get used to you
"either that"
"or you get psychic enough to avoid them"
***
beer should be avoided
if you drink beer and surf
you'll hit walls
and posts
and wear numerous bruises
but if you've the right stuff of course
you won't break anything
you do have the right stuff don't you?
***
the right stuff...
you've gotta have it
it's that simple
what you're doing is
impossible
racing the cars
across the lights
on a unicycle
is not possible
you will die
unless you are a wizard
are you a wizard ?
***
malicious people
they're out there
you'll meet them
they'll try to trip you
they'll try scaring you off
they'll try to confuse you with noise and movement
you can beat them
can't you ?
it's your wave...
***
your wave lasts
from
when you start
to when you finish
the first goal
is can i ride
thirty pedals
on the unicycle
without falling off
then pick another goal
don't look at the big picture
and don't think about jumping gutters
even if you see me doing it
one thing at a time
***
launching
forget anything you read anywhere
including here
what's comfortable for you
i was surfing in the street
and in the crowd
way before
i could launch on the unicycle without a post
i didn;t let it stop me
don;t let it stop you...
..
everything comes in time
don;t make you goals time based
make them
skills based
***
when it's ready it'll come
***
try not to listen to the crowd too m uch
you'll hear things
you wish you didn;t
loud music in your ears can be a
small help
but if they're yelling loud enough
you'll hear it
the first time
someone tells you
that YOU
are amazing
is pretty blooody nice
the ten thousandth time
is like
oh yeah okay
***
smile
you are going to see
an awful lot of smiles
read paulie's book
if you want to see the power of the smile
ride anywhere
and if you see people
then they can see you
and
you will see smiles
i can't ride to the local shop
or down the road
or anywhere
without seeing someone smile
beware the addiction of the smile
but don;t be too serious about it
***
where's your other wheel ?
is a conditioned human response
it is not appropriate to respond with
up the arse of the last guy who asked
though occasionally
i'll predict
you will use it
trust me
i'm not a doctor...
***
camera's
get used to it
you'll be filmed more times
than a devoted mother takes piccies of her darling child
you'll appear
on television
in the paper
and in magazines
i have...
***
cool...
everywhere you go
young people
say
cool...
as you ride by
surfing on your unicycle
***
customise your unicycle
don;t run with the pack
***
my unicycle
is the rear end of a bicycle
with an extra seat
making it a tandem unicycle
give them something else to smile at
it's all about the smile
***
close your eyes
when you can do it
you'll know why
zen and stuff
you know...
***
it's not a crime to be eccentric
even if you are riding a
wheel...
***
what you are riding is a flywheel
which is an intelligent way to get around
more distacne travelled
for less effort
i see an awful lot of town
riding around on a unicycle
more than you do...
***
names
people will call you names
everything from
the unicycle [ insert gender here ]
freak
crazy person
you name it
you know who you are right ?
***
don't play with the taxi's
really
don;t play with the taxi's
ah well
if ya have to
***
have a good sense of humour
***
when doing bunny hops for the crowd
don;t do it for too long
it draws a larger crowd
the problem with this of course
you **** your wave
and can't ride off the trick
and continue the wave
so keep it brief
and amazing
and then disappear...
***
drunk crazy women
are much like drunk crazy men
you'll meet em
man
you will meet them
***
ride
the nightclubber wave
it's more intense
they're
high
[stoned]
and ****ed
[drunk]
and they're out for a good time
they'll join in your game
***
it's a ****in lovely game
the unicycle game
can i get from here
to there
when i don;t know
where there is
surfing on a unicycle...
you've never tried anything this good
better than sex
better than drugs
"better surfing with both of them"
best extreme sport on the planet...
***
go ****in HARD
..
..
..
the land surfer...
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