I had a really good one this morning. I'm grooving up Hudson St. in
Manhattan on the fix, and some nut buzzes me real close. Whatever.
He's got Jersey plates, which is par for the course. Hudson St. is
where the Holland Tunnel lets out, so that's where all the clueless
masses from New Jersey get dumped on their way into the city.
Naturally, I pass the guy a few blocks later in slow traffic, and I
make sure to fully take the lane in front of him this time, so he
can't pull the buzz maneuver again. This completely enrages the
fellow, and he starts leaning on his horn behind me. Never mind that
I'm four feet from the back bumper of the cab in front of me, going
exactly the speed of traffic. That's irrelevant. HOOOOONNNNNK! When
there's room to do so, I pull into the bike lane on the left, and the
irate driver pulls up beside me and rolls down his window. He's this
musclebound guy with a jarhead haircut and a little thin moustache.
Veins are popping out on the guy's forehead.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK THE BIKE LANE IS FOR?" shouts the jarhead.

He rages off before I can give the patently obvious reply, "Why, to
double park delivery trucks in, of course!" I give a beaming grin and
a cheerful wave. And why not? I havcen't had this much fun in a while.
The jarhead is so busy scowling at me in his rearview mirror and
flipping me the bird that he almost doesn't notice that traffic is at
a dead stop a hundred feet in front of him. He slams on the brakes,
and I glide smoothly by his driver-side window and give him a little
fingers-only wave: buh-bye.

He never catches me again.

CC