View Single Post
Old June 9th 16, 01:48 AM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
[email protected]
external usenet poster
Posts: 4
Default Mountain Biking Is Inappropriate In Wilderness

On Wed, 8 Jun 2016 07:27:18 -0500, "EdwardDolan"

Alvin D. wrote:

In short, you [hikers] are enjoying a luxurious, government financed and

constructed area and like a little kid in the sand box trying to hug
all the toys in your arms so no one else can play with them.

Anyone who is willing to walk can enjoy whatever the government has provided in the way of wilderness – and for free too!

Of course you can. So why the outcry about others enjoying the "forest
primeval" as you term it?

After all, it is not "primeval" at all as you twits insist on having
paths made, some with stairs even, "oh my goodness, we must have
walked a whole mile today Estrella", and you dainty creatures don't
want to exert yourselves. Fireplaces, the three walled Appalachian
shelters, those cute marker posts so that the intrepid "trekkers"
won't lose their way. What is next? Fumigations crews to kill all
those savage insects?\/ Ohoooo a deer fly might bite me! Ohooo I'm so

I see articles like "Appalachian Trail Shelter" telling the intrepid
"trekker" that "shelters sometimes have a sloping ceiling inside and
it's very easy to bang your head against one of the shelter cross
beams unless you are careful", or "11 things I wished I'd known before
hiking the Appalachian Trail". Really great advice like, "A popular
tradition of Appalachian Trail culture is to give thoughtful nicknames
to your co-hikers, such as MonkeyButt, Golden Shower, or DangerPants.
If you point your headlamp down while you pee in the dark, you'll be
called "flash". Or Diaper cream will save your ass. This is really
great advice, "Chafing is less of a problem for people with slender
builds, but for most people, and especially for women, it's a common
problem in hiking. You can laugh now, but when you feel the forgiving
kiss of Destiny on that burning monkey butt"

Jesus H. Christ, you "trekkers" are so fat that your legs rub together
and you get "chafed". Oh you poooor dears. So dainty.

Back in the '50's there was a beer brewed by the "Griesedieck Bros
Beer Company" and aptly called Griesedieck Beer, and now we have the
greasy dick hikers.

It appears that rather than the Intrepid Trekker (visions of Lewis and
Clark) you are actually fat slothful people, with your arse liberally
anointed with Vaseline, who can't find your way across the room
without a "trail marker", and who worry about bumping your head
because the ceiling is so low.

It is hard to admit that the country has sunk so low.

Want to ride a bike instead? There are millions of miles of roads of all descriptions waiting for you.

Mountain bikes have wheels. Wheels are for roads.

Trails are for walking. What’s the matter? Can’t walk?

Trails are, apparently, for people with grease on their arse.

Ed Dolan the Great – Minnesota

More likely, "Lard arse Boy Dolan with the greasy butt"

Alvin D.

Home - Home - Home - Home - Home