"Phil, Squid-in-Training" wrote in
message news:80JTe.11408$Cc5.545@lakeread06...
Tom Nakashima wrote:
My son enters college this fall, so I put together a bike for him by
salvaging spare components and a frame that I wasn't using.
Suggestions on making the bike inconspicuous?
Maybe disguising the bike isn't worth the effort for today's thieves?
Suggestions from college students.
-tom

Yay! I'm an expert on this. Okay so here are my ten steps to a
theft-proof bike:

1. Spraypaint... the cheaper the better. Spray the whole bike frame and
make sure to spraypaint the tires and grips, too. It makes it look like
the owner is really dumb. Put some scratches in the paint so it doesn't
look so cherry. This should be easy to do since the spraypaint will
probably just flake off just by you looking at it funny.

2. Stickers! Get so many stickers that you're almost inhaling them. Get
them from your local radio station. The flashier the better. Apply
stickers to everything on the bike, especially the frame. Make sure to do
the saddle, too.

3. Duct tape! Put random duct tape bits so that they look like they're
actually trying to hold something together. Tape the saddle, too... this
makes the bike really cry out "I am a ****bomb!"

4. Cover up any and all brand names and models.

5. Put a crappy, broken, bent rack on the back for ultra-nerd factor. Add
rusty fenders and baskets to taste. Nobody wants a dorky bike.

6. Attach as many broken reflectors and light mounts as you can on the
handlebars, seatpost and seatstays. These will make it seem like the
owner keeps breaking lights, buying new ones, and never getting rid of the
old mounts.

7. Place tennis balls and cards in the spokes, and of course bar plugs
with streamers coming out. That might scare off even the seasoned
thieves.

8. Apply the biggest, most gaudy bell... no wait, horn... on the bike...
something like this Barbie Deluxe Bicycle Horn:
http://img.epinions.com/images/opti/...resized200.jpg
Tell your son to honk it within 100 feet of any human or animal.

9. If you want to go overboard, find a cosmetically rusty chain and
cassette and put those on.

10. Lock up the bike with both a non-pickable u-lock and a cable lock!

If his bike gets stolen, I'll be impressed.

--
Phil, Squid-in-Training

Well I'll have to say I'm very impressed with your suggestions, you can make
Letterman with your top 10 list.
-tom