Thread: Scriptures
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Old June 22nd 20, 03:29 AM posted to rec.bicycles.tech
Frank Krygowski[_4_]
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Default Scriptures

On 6/21/2020 8:20 PM, Mark J. wrote:
It seems RBT has so much time on its hands that recently it has taken up
religious discussions of a, well, religious nature.Â* I thought religious
discussions on RBT were supposed to fall into the traditional categories:

*Greased vs non-greased tapers
*Symmetric vs non-symmetric wheel lacing
*Braze-on vs clamp-on front derailleurs
*Tubulars vs clinchers
*Wheels hanging from upper spokes or standing on lower spokes

or the more recent

*Disc vs Rim brakes.

To remind you of our proper heritage, and having way too much time on my
hands, I submit the following scriptures, discovered on ancient scroll
fragments.
-Mark J
================================================== =================

In the beginning was the wheel, and the wheel was with Jobst, and the
wheel was Jobst's.Â* And the wheel was stress-relieved and rolled among
us, round and true.

And the Truth spake unto Jobst, and said unto him, thou shalt lubricate
the taper of the spindle, with fine grease shalt thou lubricate it.Â* If
any man does not lubricate the taper of the spindle, thou shalt not
suffer that man to live in peace, but shalt smite him with the sword of
thy keyboard.
And there came a scoffer, named Tullio the Countryman[1], and he spake,
saying Woe unto he that greaseth the spindle taper.Â* Thou shalt remove
from the taper any speck of grease, or surely thou shalt split thy
crankset.
And great was the enmity between them.

[1] Some scholars render his name Tullio the Rustic.


The Bike Shop of ISO

Now the whole world was of one threading and of one standard, and it
came to pass, as they migrated to the plains of Velocio, they said to
one another, Come, let us build a bike shop, with standards that aspire
unto heaven, and let us make us a name; lest our bicycle components be
scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And The Industry came
down to see the shop and the standards which the people builded, and
said Behold, their standard is one and they have all one threading, and
this is only the beginning of what they shall do.Â* No advancement in
cycling which they have imagined to do will now be restrained from them,
and besides, how shall we sell new components?Â* Come, let us go down,
and there confound their standards, that they may not use one another's
components.
So The Industry gave each their own threading and their own standard,
and Lo, there was Ergo and STI and Double Tap, and HG, Exa-Drive and XD,
and BB30, BB90, BBRight, PF30, and T47, and 650B, and direct mount, and
Isis, Octalink and Power Spline, and all nature of abominations that
creepeth upon the earth.Â* And their components were scattered abroad
upon the face of the whole earth, and they left off building the shop.
Therefore is the name of it called ISO, because there was such a
multitude of standards that all the peoples proclaimed I SO wanteth to
find a part that fits.

The Collection of Andrew of Muzi

In those days the peloton was proud and given to cliques and the earth
was filled with scorn.Â* Now Andrew of Muzi was an upright mechanic, and
his brazing was righteous; he was blameless among those that wielded a
torch.Â* And The Truth spake unto Andrew and said Make thee a shop of
gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the shop, and of every bicycle
component of all brands, two of every type shalt thou bring into the
shop and make photographs thereof to share with the unenlightened.
Of hubs and their kind, and of stems after their kind, and of every
rolling thing on the earth after its kind, two of every sort shall come
unto thee, you shalt preserve them.Â* For Lo, choice is good, and what
the customer wanteth he shall find, and let us not heap scorn upon the
choices of others.Â* And the Arc-en-Ciel rim appeared as a sign unto
them.

Proverbs and Parables

Braze-on front derailleurs are the work of the devil.Â* -Saint Sheldon
the Brown

The wise man based his wheel upon high tension to stand upon the lower
spokes. And the riders' weight descended, and the potholes came, and the
torque pulled upon that wheel, and it collapsed not, for it was founded
on high tension.
The foolish man based his wheel upon low tension to hang from the higher
spokes. And the riders' weight descended, and the potholes came, and the
torque pulled upon that wheel, and it collapsed, and great was the
collapse of it.Â* - Jobst

Fret not thy crankset faces, but rather collet thy pedal spindles, and
thy pedal eye shall be saved.Â* - Jobst

What home mechanic having ten ball bearings, if she loseth one, doth not
light a candle, and sweep the garage, and seek diligently till she find
it?Â* And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and her
neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found the
bearing which I had lost, and now I need not journey to the bike shop.

It is easier for a tandem to pass through the eye of a cable ferrule
than for RBT to be of one accord on any subject.


Well done! :-)


--
- Frank Krygowski
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