Applause

On 22/06/2020 02:20, Mark J. wrote:
It seems RBT has so much time on its hands that recently it has taken
up religious discussions of a, well, religious nature. I thought
religious discussions on RBT were supposed to fall into the
traditional categories:

*Greased vs non-greased tapers *Symmetric vs non-symmetric wheel
lacing *Braze-on vs clamp-on front derailleurs *Tubulars vs
clinchers *Wheels hanging from upper spokes or standing on lower
spokes

or the more recent

*Disc vs Rim brakes.

To remind you of our proper heritage, and having way too much time on
my hands, I submit the following scriptures, discovered on ancient
scroll fragments. -Mark J
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In the beginning was the wheel, and the wheel was with Jobst, and the
wheel was Jobst's. And the wheel was stress-relieved and rolled
among us, round and true.

And the Truth spake unto Jobst, and said unto him, thou shalt
lubricate the taper of the spindle, with fine grease shalt thou
lubricate it. If any man does not lubricate the taper of the
spindle, thou shalt not suffer that man to live in peace, but shalt
smite him with the sword of thy keyboard. And there came a scoffer,
named Tullio the Countryman[1], and he spake, saying Woe unto he that
greaseth the spindle taper. Thou shalt remove from the taper any
speck of grease, or surely thou shalt split thy crankset. And great
was the enmity between them.

[1] Some scholars render his name Tullio the Rustic.


The Bike Shop of ISO

Now the whole world was of one threading and of one standard, and it
came to pass, as they migrated to the plains of Velocio, they said
to one another, Come, let us build a bike shop, with standards that
aspire unto heaven, and let us make us a name; lest our bicycle
components be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth. And
The Industry came down to see the shop and the standards which the
people builded, and said Behold, their standard is one and they have
all one threading, and this is only the beginning of what they shall
do. No advancement in cycling which they have imagined to do will
now be restrained from them, and besides, how shall we sell new
components? Come, let us go down, and there confound their
standards, that they may not use one another's components. So The
Industry gave each their own threading and their own standard, and
Lo, there was Ergo and STI and Double Tap, and HG, Exa-Drive and XD,
and BB30, BB90, BBRight, PF30, and T47, and 650B, and direct mount,
and Isis, Octalink and Power Spline, and all nature of abominations
that creepeth upon the earth. And their components were scattered
abroad upon the face of the whole earth, and they left off building
the shop. Therefore is the name of it called ISO, because there was
such a multitude of standards that all the peoples proclaimed I SO
wanteth to find a part that fits.

The Collection of Andrew of Muzi

In those days the peloton was proud and given to cliques and the
earth was filled with scorn. Now Andrew of Muzi was an upright
mechanic, and his brazing was righteous; he was blameless among those
that wielded a torch. And The Truth spake unto Andrew and said Make
thee a shop of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the shop, and of
every bicycle component of all brands, two of every type shalt thou
bring into the shop and make photographs thereof to share with the
unenlightened. Of hubs and their kind, and of stems after their kind,
and of every rolling thing on the earth after its kind, two of every
sort shall come unto thee, you shalt preserve them. For Lo, choice
is good, and what the customer wanteth he shall find, and let us not
heap scorn upon the choices of others. And the Arc-en-Ciel rim
appeared as a sign unto them.

Proverbs and Parables

Braze-on front derailleurs are the work of the devil. -Saint Sheldon
the Brown

The wise man based his wheel upon high tension to stand upon the
lower spokes. And the riders' weight descended, and the potholes
came, and the torque pulled upon that wheel, and it collapsed not,
for it was founded on high tension. The foolish man based his wheel
upon low tension to hang from the higher spokes. And the riders'
weight descended, and the potholes came, and the torque pulled upon
that wheel, and it collapsed, and great was the collapse of it. -
Jobst

Fret not thy crankset faces, but rather collet thy pedal spindles,
and thy pedal eye shall be saved. - Jobst

What home mechanic having ten ball bearings, if she loseth one, doth
not light a candle, and sweep the garage, and seek diligently till
she find it? And when she hath found it, she calleth her friends and
her neighbours together, saying, Rejoice with me; for I have found
the bearing which I had lost, and now I need not journey to the bike
shop.

It is easier for a tandem to pass through the eye of a cable ferrule
than for RBT to be of one accord on any subject.