Thread: Canal knowledge
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Old August 20th 05, 11:50 PM
Mikefule
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Default Canal knowledge


A mile or two along the canal bank, I stop at a bridge because a pain
break is necessary. This is not like me.

At this point, I invite the ladies to avert their eyes for a few
paragraphs.

Being of an analytical disposition, I tend to think in too much detail
about everything (I wonder why that is) and many of you will have seen
(and some will have read) my musings on everything from crank length to
why people shout daft comments. Well, for the last few miles, I have
been thinking very hard about the interface between my bum and the
unicycle seat. Why is it hurting so much?

I have reached the conclusion that it is my new clothes - a pair of good
quality padded Lycra shorts, and a pair of ridiculously expensive Lycra
longs. The padding in the shorts is quite rubbery, and seems to be
holding my buttocks firmly in place, instead of allowing them to find
their natural position on the seat. The pain isn't simply the pressure
of my weight pushing down onto the thinly padded Miyata saddle; it's the
skin being held in place by the shorts, but then pinched and stretched
as my weight and the saddle combine in a failed attempt to move it to a
more suitable position.

The answer? I decide to remove my shorts. This involves a few seconds
of displaying my dangly bits as I hastily drag the Lycra leggings back
on, hoping that a party of middle aged lady hikers doesn't suddenly
appear.

I remount the unicycle, and find that everything slides into place much
more comfortably. After a certain amount of manual adjustment, I feel
ready to ride, and I continue on my way. Within a mile, I realise
suddenly that I am in no pain at all!

Oh, the ladies, can rejoin us now.

Within 3 or 4 miles, I am back at the car, but feeling fresh enough and
comfortable enough to ride further. I look at the computer: 36 miles
covered. That means 14 more to make the 50. Basic arithmetic tells me
that if I ride 7 miles along the towpath towards Nottingham, then turn
round and ride back, I will have done the 50 miles. I estimate that 7
miles will more or less bring me to the junction between the canal and
the Trent. I decide to go for it.

Throughout the ride, I have met very few people. On the next seven
miles, I meet many. There is a group of about 8 lads on bikes in front
of me. The back one looks over his shoulder and sees me coming and
shouts a warning. They all move to one side of the path but continue
riding. As I overtake them, the lad at the back notices I'm on a
unicycle. He shouts, "Hey! he's only got one wheel!" It is a simple
and honest statement of fact, made in a tone of genuine surprise, and
intended to alert his friends to the novelty of the situation. Fair
enough. Why can't everyone be like that, instead of making a weak or
offensive joke.

Later, I approach an elderly couple. They hear the crunch of my tyre on
the grit, and move to one side. As I pass them, there's a brief
exchange:

Mikefule: "Thank you."
Old lady: "No problem at... oh my word!"

Soon, I find myself nearly at the end of the canal, and have a choice
between riding alongside some busy main road or cutting across the
fields by my usual route. I go for the latter, and ride past the
skateboard ramps. Someone shouts, "Hey, look, a unicycle!" and someone
replies boredly, "Yes, we've seen him before. We know which way he's
going."

As I reach the river, I draw on my Camelbak and find with alarm that it
has run dry. This has only happened once before, and it makes me feel
very exposed. It's still hot, I'm tired, and haven't eaten properly for
hours, and I have about 7 miles to ride.

I decide to call in at either the kayak club or one of the three rowing
clubs. They all see me riding past regularly, and I'm sure they'll let
me use their water supplies. Unfortunately, it is now early Saturday
evening, and there are no canoeists or rowers to be seen. I continue as
far as the suspension bridge, hoping to see an ice cream van. No luck.
The kiosk by Trent Bridge is also shut. Plan D? The sailing club, but
that's almost at the Water Sports Centre. When I get there, there are
no sailors. I continue in desperation to the Water Sports Centre and
find the chuck wagon and the ice cream van closed. Fortunately, there
is a vending machine and, at the second attempt, I persuade it to supply
me with a half litre of isotonic drink.

Blessed relief!

Rested and refreshed, I follow the fast main road ("Regatta Way") back
as far as the canal, then ride back towards the car. I notice that my
feet are no longer tingling. My backside is only mildly painful, and
the removal of the shorts has made an enormous difference. (Lady
readers who missed that section of the write up will be mystified by
this comment, no doubt.)
In fact, I now know that I will reach 50 miles on this ride, and I find
myself toying with the idea of putting an extra loop in! Another 5
miles will simply be 4 sections of just under 10 minutes. Should I go
for 60 miles? The metric 100? That way, madness lies. I know that I
have proved that, with suitable clothing, and on an easy surface, I can
ride 50 miles, and could ride 60, or even a bit further. However, I
have to consider how late it's getting, the fact that I have yet to eat,
and the fact that I may want to ride tomorrow.

I stop at one of the wiggle gates and look at the computer: I'm on
exactly 50 miles! I decide to take a photo, and spend some time setting
the camera up on self timer. I decide to pose balancing the unicycle on
my chin (I am an incorrigible chin balancer, doing everything from
chairs to pub umbrellas and tent poles). Unfortunately, my chin is
sweaty, and so is the handle on the front of the unicycle seat. In my
rush to get into the pose in few seconds allowed by the self timer, I
let the uni slip, cutting my lip. The photo shows neither me nor the
uni, and fortunately, the camera is a cheap one and doesn't do sound
files!

Another mile and a bit, and I'm back at the car. And more than I could
wish for: a car pulls up and a chap gets out to go for a walk along the
canal bank. He sees the unicycle, looks at my riding kit and asks, "How
far have you been on that thing?"

"Oh, er... 51.7 miles," I say, as nonchalantly as possible.

Ride stats:
Distance: 51.7 miles (83.19 km)
Riding time 5:32.37
Average riding speed: 9.33 mph (15 kmh)
Max recorded speed: 13 mph (20.9 kph)
Rest stops: around an hour.
Unicycle: Nimbus 1, 28 inch (700c x 28 mm) with 102 mm cranks.

Weight lost during the day: around 3 pounds (1.36 kg)

Links:
http://www.granthamcanal.com/

http://www.belvoircastle.com/


--
Mikefule - Roland Hope School of Unicycling

http://www.dolphin-morris.co.uk/

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