I offer the following solution:

Right lane for use for slower two-wheeled vehicles (bicycles,
scooters) and alternative vehicles under 30mph. BICYCLE TAKES THE
LANE.

The problem now is not only the behemoths, but they pass on any lane
including the right. NO PHONE, of course.

This vehicle would be quite fun on city streets:

http://www.greencar.com/articles/bom...ic-vehicle.php