A Cycling & bikes forum. CycleBanter.com

Go Back   Home » CycleBanter.com forum » rec.bicycles » General
Site Map Home Register Authors List Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read Web Partners

Confessions of a failed cyclist: A poseur’s diary



 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old May 11th 09, 02:24 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Ablang
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 128
Default Confessions of a failed cyclist: A poseur’s diary

Confessions of a failed cyclist
A poseur’s diary

By Josh Fernandez

http://www.newsreview.com/sacramento/content?oid=969503

Sunday, March 1: Man, hard-core bikers are sweet. Actually, no, the
weekend warriors who sweat bacon grease out of their spandex are not
sweet. At all. But the guy I saw today—with the tattoos and that
miniature hat with the little bill flipped up—was radical. I always
pass bike-messenger types while driving my car, and even though they
get bent out of shape when I swerve in front of them, their whole
scruffy aura is too badass to pass up.

Saturday, March 7: Went to San Francisco today and saw real bike
messengers, with their knee scabs, recreational crack smoking and
dreadlocked girlfriends, and I couldn’t help but to think, “Yeah, man,
that’s my scene.”

Saturday, April 4: Today I ditched my boring-ass, pedestrian lifestyle
and looked for a bike on Craigslist. I wanted a road bike that looked
like a fixie without actually being a fixie. The concept of a bike
with no brakes on it is like a boxer who gets in the ring and punches
himself in the face, you know? Anyway, I found a nice hundred-dollar
road bike and bought it from this sketchy dude in Elk Grove. It’s a
radical bike, but it’s white and kind of plain looking. I figured I
could paint it bright orange later. I also bought a lock at Target, so
right when I got my bike home, I chained it to the fence outside my
apartment.

Sunday, April 5: ****, I feel so much cooler now since I’ve become a
biker. In honor of my new status, I put on some Seattle politi-punk
music and kicked my feet around the house until I got hungry enough to
head to Safeway. On the way out, I looked at my new bike—sleek,
rugged, totally sustainable. But I got into my car and drove off.
While I stood in the frozen-foods section, I wondered, “What do bikers
eat? Meat? Tofu?” I settled on Kool-Aid and went home.

Monday, April 6: Last night I might have overdosed on juice. My dream
was epic! I dreamed I was riding my bike like a steed through a fiery
land occupied by demonic wizards and dragons. And ninjas. There were
tons of karate ninjas. I had no destination, but I rode forward,
frothing at the mouth like a priest at a preschool open house. But
instead of molesting children, I slew dragons and wizards with my
magical sword. When I woke up, morning wood was in full effect. I was
sweating, invigorated and ready to mount my bike and rip through the
city to work.

When I got outside, I dropped my fingerless gloves on the concrete.
There was only a chain dangling from my fence—my bike just a sweet,
stolen memory. So I got in my car and drove off.
Ads
  #2  
Old May 11th 09, 03:41 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
[email protected][_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 55
Default Confessions of a failed cyclist: A poseur’s diary

http://bikejournal.com/thread.asp?ThreadID={A3842DD3-A2F7-4BAC-BA47-AA590A481ED4}&numPost=1
The original thread header had a long whine about not wanting to ride
at least 20 miles and not eing bothered with a shorter ride. Due to
working hours and sunset times he could not ride 20 miles before dark
and would not ride with lights after dark or a shorter ride. The
thread went astray and was locked for a short time. The thread was
then unlocked with the warning in the thread header. This guy enjoyed
the needling but did not ride, very narcissistic.
 




Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Biltong: Confessions of Brooks seat niffter Andre Jute[_2_] Techniques 4 March 30th 09 08:58 PM
Confessions of a red-light runner... Vincent Patrick Australia 29 November 11th 06 02:56 PM
Confessions from a novice stair-rider. steveyo Unicycling 1 September 29th 06 06:29 PM
Confessions bomba Mountain Biking 11 September 11th 05 10:48 PM
Confessions of a new commuter Stuart Lamble Australia 24 March 1st 05 10:20 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 12:08 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004-2024 CycleBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.