unicycles in th surf ( again )

Subject: unicycles in th surf ( again )
Newsgroups: bigpond
news:alt.planets.mars,alt.poverty,alt.privacy,alt. psychoactives,alt.pugw
ash,alt.surfing
Followup-To: alt.planets.mars,alt.surfing

unicycles in th surf ( again )
***


wouldnt it rip ya ?

deano's in town
we went to see if he wanted to come unicyclin on th beach at redcliffe


he wasnt home

saw message he sent home

he's appearin on telly


i dunno

i rode around for five years


he takes his first trip into town

no

i'm just gunna sit over here
and shake my head for a while


***


guess i'm just not young and pretty


***


we had fun anyway

went to redcliffe beach

mark's old man
wont let him take his unicycle on th beach

i dunno man
i bought it for im


so we were both ridin mine down on th

waterline


mark real proud of himself

got into waist deep water


not what ya call surf though
tiddlers


i caught a few good waves

rode em to th beach





chick came and parked near th action
you know

normal stuff

***


just waitin for th drugs to kick in
water on th boil

pasta surprise for tea

***


nup
not singin tonight


***



been for a good surf
might go out and scare th cage drivers
on th big road

a little later on

***


do re mi
"new taboos"

***


sorry ya cant hear it

im a cheap *******

i'd take nicole kidman to dinner at

mc donalds


and i hate mc donalds



needs some work


***


my brain that is

***


could ya imagine ?

***


time to put a sarong on
and approach th chinese chopper in th kitchen

got some gorgeous
lovely ripe tomatoes

yummie

***

i know ya dont wanna hear this

but there were
unyummie mummies
in th water today


i asked th young fella where all th yummie mummies went

he said




around th corner




he lied

***


placebo
"bulletproof cupid"

***

"there was this one"
"redhead"

"braving th summer sun"

***


massive attack
"radiation ruling the nation"

***


it was fully
low tide

fat as

***


watchin th young fella
chargin into th surf

after takin off
from my shoulder


you enjoyin yur flyin lesson young fella ?


***

MS Flight Simulator 95
"GEARDOWN"

***

a perfect circle
"a stranger"

***

**** it's hot

***


two plates of pasta in th belly
sweating is

***


arlo guthrie
"alice's restaurant massacree"

***

the black eyed peas
"the apl song"

***


tori amos
"cornflake girl"

***

hmm

america is gunna rebuild th world

smile


***



cat stevens
"into white"

***

regurgitator
"couldnt do it" ( happy shopper remix )

***


i'll go along with that


we're on
all music

random


whatever comes along

***


steppenwolf
"born to be wild"

***


mark
found that sinking feeling
no mate

ya cant hang on for long

yur sinkin

and dont twist th wheel

goes down quicker


he cant get up
and flying
yet
without a support

but once he;s goin
he's
sorta got it

***

garbage
"milk" ( massive attack )

***

by th way

sorry if yur in th snow right now

yur in th wrong hemisphere


***



city high
"sista"

***

cartman
"carls mom's a bitch"

***

times two



man i saw a fat bitch



we were wonderin

is it fat bitch day ?


i counted five in a row


just drivin down th road

***

nirvana
"downer"

***


sky's rumbling
sounds like it;s
gunna fall on our heads

dirty big thunder storm

***

bill hicks
"gideons"

***


do re mi
"after the volcano"

***


go on
exlain that x plosion

***


might forgo th dusk fly on th unicycle
not fond of a couple million volts
goin to ground thru me

***

the kinks
"all day and all of the night"

***

radiohead
"everything in its right place"

***


ah it's started raining

that should cool things down

***


little brother
bought me

a marijuana pot

little tin

for puttin yur smokes in i think


***


bullhsit
i found a tailor made


for what we are about to receive
may we smoke some drugs first



***


mark commented on th ripples
in th sand surface


hard goin for him
bein a novice

on th unicycle

specially in th surf


wrong shaped beach mate

which is why we're only in this corner here

got th break right

just there


some of those waves
were sneaky little ****ers

but you knew that right ?

***


i know
we picked a friday afternoon
to go ridin in th surf

and you ****in missed it

stiff **** ok


***



wonder if he's told his dad yet
how far out he got

before he went **** up

***


i dunno
up to his waist wasnt a bad effort
he was well into th ripples then

***


crash test dummies
"mmm mmm mmm"

***


more pasta surprise calls

in th fridge




be cool now


***


"that's a big mouth asher"

***

be cool now

+++


found some leaves
in th basketball court
some lovely little slides

"and one not so little"

was funny as



mark was ridin

pole to pole


no basketballers


i had a stab at

dunkin my towel thru th hoop


not round enough

"shoulda throw yur head thru it"


his flyin's
cumin along

***


"blessed by the elders"


***


you bought yur pass to enter australia from an aboriginal elder yet ?

i'll sell ya one

***


if ya think about it

th question mark

should be

at th beginning of th line

otherwise

? how do ya know it's a question


***

she sings

***


bout serendidipity


[second pass]

ok

lets have that again



bout serendidpity




nearly




one more


bout serendipity


you happy now ?




one more for if i get really whacked when i cut it


*******

[second pass]

***

got me ****ed

***

"me too"

***


"th thing about little boys"
is they're incredibly goey

has trouble ridin that far
on th flat

even surface


but umm
im goin ridin unicycles in th surf too uncle paulie


no worries

***



"if kylie calls"

tell her she's got a big fat arse


***


"does my bum look big in this ?"

yes

***


do re mi
"idiot grin"

unpause

***

it did not say unclench jennifer

that ****in stinks


***


"oops sorry"


***



jennifer
"wheeltailmonkey"

***


hey it's you

***


"big deal"

"spin on"

"not playin drum tonight"


***


"hey paulie"
"you;ve never played lead"
"on th classical guitar over that before"

hmmm


sounded crap






"true"


***


wasnt stoned enough

next


afroman
"high"





told ya


***

eeyup

eeyup

..
..
..

cough cough cough

***


ok i admit it
stop bendin my arm man


i was stoned on that unicycle
in th surf

are ya happy now ****head ?


***


hey jenny
i was stoned
on a beach
on my unicycle today

"cool"
"? what music "

massive attack
and a bit of kylie

"? which bit"
th big bit


" smile "


***




sang in th car
sorry man

my gorgeous falcon limo

on th way home



so i guess

i musta had a pretty fat time

doin background vocals


***


?
"the zone"


***



pulled up at th light and
it was comin out strong
showin th young fella

wanderin vocals

i aint goin out singin tonight

just mixin it up


chick unhinging in th car next door

ah me


have to watch it sometimes


***



back to tappin on th door


***


you see that chick young fella ?


***



i took on th mighty bark strewn hill

and failed like

three qaurters of th way up


stepped off
and th little fella
is like

****



remounted
on a sideways
slip

and rode back down it


he usually rides down it on his mountain bike



th top looks ****in slippery man

for a single wheel


bill hicks
"orange drink"

it's a boy's bike thing

***


ya gotta take it on


***

tool
"hooker with a penis"

***

oh i know you
sang at ya in th street

couple of weeks back


g'day


***




"sounds like your windin yur voice up"
i aint goin singin
didnt even buy ****

"singin high today"
go away

***


let's have another stab at a guitar track for yur piece jennifer
next time we got lots of weed


"kuta man"

***


put a bass vocal on there
t balance

"ya drowned it though"
"not enough sympathy"

more drugs i said


then ya


listen


five years of background vocals
with lotsa musos


you listen
then you sing

"close my eyes"
"if i see"

"3 X A10 F/Salad"

"then i'm there"

"and that's ****in rare"


***


Unknown Artist
"Track No01"

***


umm

pj harvey

"bring you my love"

***


"3 X A10 F/Salad"

***



take yur fruit salad away

***


"three by A ten fruit salad"


***


the kadeecha man
is on sabbatical
feel free to record a message

when you've finished speaking
just kick my servant here

in th balls


it sets his memory trigger

on


***


your humble servant
"im not surprised"

***

the kinks
"starstruck"

***


? sorry did you say you **** yur pants
didnt meant to scare ya

hey paris give me yur dog

here ya go
wipe yur bum on that


***


"Always wondered what she kept that thing in there for"

***


i thought it was a sextoy


***

only th blonde ones
stick em in head first sweetie

heres a replacement
dont worry about it

***


simon and garfunkel
"cecilia"

***



"maybe she was practising birthing"

why you wanna think of paris with a belly full of arms and legs ?

"so i can laugh at er"


you are a chick


***



the beatles
"across th e universe"

***


i ****in told ya
i'm not comin out to sing tonight

****in ekkie heads man


loose as

***


i like ya
just not in that way ok

no offense

***

hair's gettin outta control jennifer
down to th shoulders again
"lot longer when we went swimmin"
****in curls

***


"growin a beard ?"
well hey

i'm an aboriginal elder now

***


"first ride you ever did with bodypaint"
"in surfers paradise after midnight"
"as a street entertainer"

"was as a kadeecha man"
"sorry"
"you who arent aussies"

"a witchdoctor"


true

***

george carlin
"i aint afraid of cancer"

***


storms are gettin worse
have to shut down soon

takes out th poles
pretty normal


***


careful now

ya have to put this helmet on

before you can use th urinal


thirty dollar fine man


***


laurie anderson
"born, never asked"

***


ya bitch


***


"thought that was my line"


says in yur diary

ya spoke to paulie and jenny
in th womb


um mum

when ya
put me in ballet at four

what name did ya write down ?

///



****er beat me up for that one too


***


gettin wild outside


***


we got us a skyshow


***

quick man
click on

save

***


like it matters

everything happens

exactly th way

it's supposed too


always
and forever more

***



"amen"


***



hey ma
you woulda liked seein yur grandson
****in around in th surf today

he's a goey little bugger
nearly my size already

aggressive as


can barely ride th wheel

but still takin on
th
bike way
walking crowd


and um
he's got att i tude


this is not

a

bi

cycle



we have a bit of fun


the verve

"catching the butterfly"


i think these ppl take drugs



little brother

got a present fo me

dunno if i should give this to ya
in front of my son


i smoke cones
he doesnt


a marijuana pot


love ya man


***



like he doesnt know


**** i was talkative on th drive
down to redcliffe


hey it's fat chick day
in kipparing


you seen a skinny one yet ?



[he does check out all th chicks]



***

ya gotta educate em
no
that one
is a yummie mummie


she smiled at me
when her daughter

had finished
draggin

her gorgeous curlie hair
under th water


ah spoiled


we had a couple moments


***



" Smile "

she was pretty

looked somehow
kinda spanish


spanglish


***


hello pretty girl


***


guy on th phone
wants to sell me a holiday

well usually man
i ask to see a chicks tits
before i go on holiday with her

i'm flattered but



**** he laughed



then of course
he switched to

plan b


pretty chicks
in this surfers paradise holiday


i'm a singer man
i seen lots of pretty chicks

dont have to go anywhere special


***


led zeppelin
"ramble on"

***


on todays track list
down there

on redcliffe beach

***



love th mp3 player

i wanna waterproof one


***


no big stacks in th water today
never disconnected th mp3 player

sorry


***


only got a little rooster tail

comin off th back of jennifer three unicycle
today

in th surf


it's been so long


dead low

but still a bit

springy


like it

HARD



you know


but caught enough waves
it did th heart good

feel so fine inside

***


"stoned outta ya gourd"

yeah

and umm

i guess that helps


***


th boys are
****in off to th north coast tomorrow

on an errand

which is where

i was gunna go


and kinda where i was today



where th **** am i going tomorrow ?
cause i aint goin out tonight


holdin money back


***


city high
"three way"


***


not likely

mostly th lesbian girls

just touch


***


sorry michael
man

as much as i love it

i wanna keep th twenty

it costs me to get juiced

car and my body


which is cheap but

aint got much


just th pension at th mo
you know

they dont make me work
which is kinda nice


and like what i do
which is fine too

city high
"what would you do"



go to th beach


not there to see

YOUR smiles


there to jump off my ****in wheel

into th water

ridin HARD


HARDER

than you;ll ride

on a

HARD

surface



go HARD


..
..
..


the land surfer...

***


p.s.


"the clown is dead"
long live the clown

***


"god save the clown"
why is it sick ?

***


i wanna go


white beach


it's my money


***


ram jam
"black betty"

***

no sweetie
the music is so i can't hear


you



why ?


because it's not about

you...

***

yothu yindi
"romance at garma"

***

shakepsears sister
"catwoman"

***


"is that why catwoman was a black woman ?"