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For the Record, the Final Report: The Case for a MandatoryShoulder-Mount Head-Grid in the USA
Rolling on the floor laughing out loud.
Andre Jute "Not only people, but apply it to cyclists too!" --Nexus7 On Aug 30, 2:50*pm, Nexus7 wrote: I think right up front we need to make the case that even though the United States of America is the bastion of freedom and gratuitous owning of firearms, we should, on moral and statistical grounds, mandate shoulder-mounted head grids. We need to do this because, as is the precedent in similar postings in r.b.t. (even though they may be based on shaky statistical grounds), we must begin by wrapping ourselves in the flag and calling out the soft socialism and collectivism of the Europeans and Japanese. We will not however present statistics on how safe bicycling is simply to make up our word count, and also because you kids can these days conduct the process known as "the Google." Even though precedent exists to present statistics that are only peripherally relevant. Now then it is clear that a shoulder-mounted grid of light aluminum of other light gage ductile metal is a far better safety device for the skull crushing impacts that bicyclist are liable encounter in such barbaric outposts as NYC. We know of such impacts because there are studies which count them, even though they don't account for mis- reporting of safety device usage in incidents involving personal injuries. But I think we can all agree that the upper body, particularly the shoulder region, is much better suited to dissipating impacts than the spine and soft brain tissue. As a matter of fact, in accidents involving head injuries, there are at least 2 impacts, one involving the skull hitting unpaved NYC pavement, and the second involving soft brain tissue hitting the skull. I haven't seen this myself, however I've personally seen books with pictures of brain soft tissue at the bookstore. You might have seen bookstores in NYC or other places such as California, where people die at much lower rates in head-case bicycle accidents even though they don't wear safety devices with styrofoam. Clearly then, it is upon us to mandate shoulder devices that route impact forces away from the heads of little children. Statistically speaking, over 100% of accidents would not harm the head at all, unless it involved posts of tall fences which would go through the grid. But aside from that guy on YouTube who rides on fences, how many heads would greet a fence post in this fashion? Statistically 0%, or, in NYC, 3%. In fact, in what would otherwise be a brain jelly situation, you, or little children who eat apple pies made by their moms, would feel no more an impact than when you shake your head after a shower. Yes, let us set a shining example to the trammeled and constricted consumerists on the other sides of the Atlantic and Pacific. People who don't wear shoulder-mount head-grids are clearly stupid, but we need to apply the full force of the law to save their precious heads anyway. Not only people, but apply it to cyclists too! You might doubt that such a grid would prevent 100% (97% in NYC) of head injuries; but even if it prevents at a marginal rate of 1%, that is reason enough. |
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