I FELL OFF MY BIKE!

Funniest crash ever.

First of all, I *never* crash. Where "never" is in the
hyperbolic sense. Last time was 1989, on the Harvard Bridge,
and I've told that story here before.

But this one was inevitable given that I was taking a risk
I already knew I shouldn't be taking.

On my morning ride, I go around a 4.2 mile loop, the
early part of which takes me through an apartment complex,
which I like because of the chicanes and the shadows and
the urban-crit feel. (The rest of the loop is desert
highway and suburban major collector.)

What I don't like is that the entire way through the
complex is parking lot, and people will often back out,
and will sometimes not see a man doing 20 mph on a bike.
There are also dogs, kids, and people strolling along who
step into the tarmac without looking, but at 7 a.m. not
many of them. Plus there's the occasional PYT walking
her pooch in her jammies, so I got that going for me.

Which is fine for all of them; I'm the interloper and I knew
it. And I was planning to start going around the complex,
even though it means adding a new biggest hill to the loop.

But here I am with a chance to finally break 50:00 for
four turns on this loop, having done 50:25 just the other
day and knowing I could have got there if I'd know I had
the chance. And I wanted to hit that major accomplishment,
then I'd be happy to change the loop.

Which led to two problems. First, I could no longer
gear-down and spin through the complex. I'd have to bomb
it. Second, I'd be nearly hypoxic for nearly an hour.
(N.B. I'm old and I've only been back on my bike for 2
months after a 12 year layoff, so no jokes about how pokey
this all sounds. I happen to think this much progress in
this little time is ****ing AMAZING.)

So this morning I'm moving fast through the chicanes on
my fourth lap, when a land-cruiser starts backing out,
and I can't see his head, so I do the math and figure if
he keeps backing to where that boat has to be to start
moving down the way I'll have room between his nose and
the pillar for the parking shade (it's an Arizona thing;
parking lots build shade over the spaces).

But then I realize he's not doing that. He slows his
backing, and my prospective gap is gone. So I switch to
his rear, where I have about 4 clear feet between bumper
and curb.

But he doesn't stop, and cuts that space to about two feet.

I grab the brakes, and start doing gymnastics to port around
him, but...

....I hit a wet spot in the road from the sprinkler overflow...

I skid, make the curb, and dive over my top-tube. My feet
come out of my straps (clips woulda killed me here) and I
cartwheel off the bike. I land in the waterlogged grass,
roll over, and watch my left leg flop onto my right.

I pause, roll onto my back, then start shaking with laughter.

When I get up, the stunned driver is cautiously getting out of
his car, apologizing, etc., etc.

I tell him no problem. No way he could have seen me. If it
weren't for the wet spot I'd have made it, etc., etc.

He says he did see me, but thought I was going for the nose.

I say I was, but thought he was stopping.

I was still laughing, but he was still kind of stunned to
see this lycra-clad, sopping-wet, giggling bikie scraping
grass clippings off his ass.

I was unbruised, my bike was unscratched, my iPod was still
playing Chris Isaak (he might have been singing "Wicked
Game" just then, heh). I hadn't even dropped my water bottle
nor dislodged my backwards baseball cap from my head.

For a guy who never falls, I sure know how to do it with style.

No harm, no foul. I shook his hand and got back on my
bike and finished my 20 miles on an alternate route to
get some hill training.

As far as I know, he's still standing there looking at
the flattened grass.

--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

"Blair P. Houghton" wrote in message
...

--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

Dave

"Raoul Duke" wrote in message ...
"Blair P. Houghton" wrote in message
...

--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

Dave

And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!? There are
some other morals to this story.

gds wrote:

"Raoul Duke" wrote in message ...

"Blair P. Houghton" wrote in message
.. .


--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

Dave


And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!?

.... and no knee pads or shoulder pads or elbow pads or air bag or pillow
on your butt? ;-)

Really, I wouldn't race through a congested parking lot, no matter what
style cap I wore.

--
--------------------+
Frank Krygowski [To reply, remove rodent and vegetable dot com,
replace with cc.ysu dot edu]

gds wrote:
Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!? There are
some other morals to this story.

I'm still trying to figure out how the helmet would've protected the
iPod...


(Let's all start a helmet thread on comp.sys.mac.advocacy!)

--
Frederic Briere *

= IS NO MO http://www.abacomsucks.com =

"gds" wrote in message
om...
"Raoul Duke" wrote in message
...
"Blair P. Houghton" wrote in message
...

--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

Dave
And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!? There are
some other morals to this story.

Yes, like 'don't stick your finger in the socket while standing on a wet
floor!'

test
"gds" wrote in message
om...
"Raoul Duke" wrote in message
...
"Blair P. Houghton" wrote in message
...

--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

Dave

And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!? There are
some other morals to this story.

test Dave

And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!? There are
some other morals to this story.

"Frank Krygowski" wrote in message
...
gds wrote:

"Raoul Duke" wrote in message
...

"Blair P. Houghton" wrote in message
.. .


--Blair
"The moral of the story is: Never
draw to an inside straight."

Moral of the story is: Don't go racing through parking lots.

Dave


And seriously, you do this with an ipod and no helmet!?!?

... and no knee pads or shoulder pads or elbow pads or air bag or pillow
on your butt? ;-)

Really, I wouldn't race through a congested parking lot, no matter what
style cap I wore.

--
--------------------+
Frank Krygowski [To reply, remove rodent and vegetable dot com,
replace with cc.ysu dot edu]

What I don't like is that the entire way through the
complex is parking lot, and people will often back out,
and will sometimes not see a man doing 20 mph on a bike.

It's plain silly to be doing 20mph in a parking lot. Keep your speed for when
you are out on the road, not in what is a car park.

Cheers, helen s


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