two things i hate about you

two things i hate about you
+++

one

yur not naked on my bed


two

yur nicole kidman

+++

two's enough

+++
the kinks
'apeman'
+++

now i need to smoek some drugs

scuse i

+++


"pls dont tell nickie"
"she'll only laugh at me"

+++


thought you were choppin th drugs up jennifer
"sorry wiz"

..
..
..

ah i hit a sold bud
that's th way barbie girl

+++
coldplay
'in my place'
+++

yeah i've been told

+++

have you ?

+++


i had an indian woman

on th phone
a short while ago

tryin to tell me
i'd won some accomodation

and i dint even ask to see her tits first
or i aint goin on holiday with er

just said

no thank you

couple of times and hung up


have i gone tame ?

+++



i hate
bein th wildest thing in th street

sailin th wrong way down th road
after midnight

in th


fortitude valley


on a unicycle without lights


i try to wake up th sheep but
they rarely join me

+++
depeche mode
'personal jesus'
+++


pudknockers

+++

do YOU know where th famous fortitude valley bucket bong is kept ?


th one th street entertainers all use


+++


i stopped singin at surfers paradise
i stopped singin at brisbane city

why is it so hard
to stop singin in th
fortitude valley

"call it something else maybe"

+++

is what it is

+++
madness
'baggy trousers'
+++

"wash th pirate pants paulie"
"i wanna go out saturday night in costume'

+++

wizard
's on holiday babe




+++

"oh wat fun we had"

+++


"wearin baggy trousers and"
"seein if white girls can jump"

they can
just like unicycle tyres can slide

+++
do re mi
'after the volcano'
+++

"ku ta"

+++

"could yur subconscious attack that photo retoucher ?"
interesting theory anyway

"****im he deserves some bad luck"
could be a chick

+++
massive attack
'inertia creeps'
+++

"why ?"
store too much inertia in th flywheel
she gets skatey

"is that what happend over those bumps ?"

+++



jennifer got awful light

her flywheel is much heavier than it was

+++


"doesnt turn like th 27"
you wanna surf a beach this arv ?
"cant get to th big beach"
"thought we do concrete at soft beach tomorrow"

new trails
"like yesterday yes"

ku ta

+++

houston
we have traction

..
..
..

the land surfer

+++

p.s.


****in school holidays
th skate bowls are full of kids

the exit point
always has a kid standin on it

"tried at dusk yesterday"
tomorrow dark

+++


"when full moon ?"
wizard not appearing

+++
led zeppelin
'battle of evermore'
+++

"you will give in paulie"
"you will ride after midnight again"
"it's in th blood"

is that supposed to make me feel better about it ?

"no"
"sorry bro"

+++


after my car rego is paid
and i have a new mp3 player

maybe

four months

only been two so far



that fifty in th top draw
wouldnt be there
if you were singin
jenny


"i know"

back off

+++

two things i hate about you

ya cant go singin when ya cant afford it

and i dont give a **** yur singin partners are pullin at ya

+++


almost costin me as much
in extra drugs


but

almost


"i been kept out of pain"

then shut th **** up

+++

one more song and i'm goin for a surf jenny
"no unicycle surf, no singin , i get it"
blame channel seven

+++

kid last night asked me

was i th guy

from th guiness world records
uncicyle jump attempt

no mate


then convinced i'm

after a record attempt



boppin up th big hill


easy as





no young fella



+++


would like to stop hearin about it though
or at least have

REALLY REALLY ****IN LOUD

mp3 player

so i can ride my wheelchair

in ****in peace





go away ya ****s


"when they forget about it"
"they'll still ask"
"where's yur other wheel ?"


up th arse of th last **** who asked

show some ****in respect


im a black wizard

blow you opf fth fac eof th ****in earth

just caus ei'ma ngry at ya


dont really wanna do that to ya






cant ****in ride in my


playground




it's yur safety i'm thinkin about

not mine


i race th taxis regardless



five years


i'm still alive



drugs alcohol
and


unicyclin thru

night time street


think YOU got what it takes

five years

no broken bones



REAL black witchdoctor


+++
the red hot chilli peppers
'higher ground'
+++

i accept no responsibility
for actions undertaken by my
subconscious


i admit my fondness for australia's nickie kidman
i wouldnt retouch her photo too nasty


my female side very fond of nickie
and she's basically my subconscious
"and dominant personality"

your call

*******
do re mi
'new taboos'

the land surfer wrote: aka little marty boy