Invisible Paint: Ingenious Bicycle Anti-Theft Product

Source with photos: http://www.geocities.com/verdrahciretop/invisibike.html

BELL LAUNCHES INGENIOUS BICYCLE ANTI-THEFT PRODUCT

Bicycle theft has always been a serious issue for bike owners.
Traditionally, bicycle owners have employed theft resistant locks like
U-Locks, or cables and heavy-duty chains with padlocks. Even then they've
carefully had to select highly visible, well lighted locations, and to
ensure that their precious bike is locked to a fixed object. But the thieves
still sometimes win, and bicycle theft remains a thorn in the side of the
cycling industry.

But thanks to a new product being developed by Bell Bicycle Accessories,
there may be a solution. Engineers working for Bell in a research laboratory
in Switzerland have come up with a paint product that may be the answer to
the longstanding problem of bicycle theft. The revolutionary paint will be
sold under the patented name "BAINT Paint". BAINT is a reversed acronym for
Theft Neutralizer Invisible Application for Bicycles (T.N.I.A.B.).

The formula behind BAINT Paint was first discovered accidentally by a junior
research assistant in the Swiss laboratory. The junior assistant, who has
not been named, apparently added some chemicals by mistake when Bell
engineers were trying to create an imitation White Lightning product for
their new BrainChain line of bicycle maintenance products. When the
assistant spilled some of the resulting mixture over his shoes, he noticed
that his feet had disappeared. After discovering that a single application
of the mysterious paste rendered all objects invisible, the Bell Development
Team realized that they had stumbled upon an invisible paint. They
immediately thought of an application of this amazing new product for the
cycling industry. Bicycle theft could be combatted by painting bikes and
making them invisible, based on the premise that a bicycle that can't be
seen also can't be stolen.

It took Bell engineers over a year to replicate and perfect the formula, in
part because the junior assistant could not recall exactly what chemicals he
had used. But BAINT Paint is now in the last stage of development, and will
soon be available to the general public.

The BAINT (Theft Neutralizer Invisible Application for Bicycles) Paint is
easy to use. First a single coat of the BAINT Paint must be applied to the
entire bicycle. This must be followed by an immediate application of a
fast-acting catalyst spray (BAINT Paint Spray Pro), and within two minutes
the bicycle becomes completely invisible. The good news is that if your bike
is invisible, bicycle thieves can't find it!

The marketing division of Bell Bicycle Accessories has admitted some
difficulties with the new product. "For one thing", said Marketing Director
Mr. I.C. Hugh Nough, "It's hard to sell a product that you can't see." And
he admits that riding an invisible bike takes some getting used to. "You
need to adjust to not seeing your pedals or your brake levers and gear
shifters," said Mr. Nough. "But you get used to it. You learn to ride by
feel."

Does the paint wear off over time? Mr. Nough doesn't think so. "After
dropping the paint on his shoes, our lab assistant never saw his shoes
again. So you have to be really sure that you're doing the right thing
before using our product. We are working with officials from the State
Department for Public Safety to prevent our product getting in the hands of
children who might not use it for its intended purpose. Availability of our
product will probably be limited exclusively to adults over the age of 18."

At the present time the invisible paint is an irreversible process. "We are
still working on inventing a De-BAINT Paint companion product. The De-BAINT
Paint will be designed to reverse the invisible chemical cycle and restore
visibility of the original paint." But Mr. Hough admits that it could be
some time before the De-BAINT Paint product will be ready. "Our engineers
are still perfecting the formula. Our current research is showing that the
reverse cycle produced by De-BAINT Paint causes structural damage to the
frame. So for now we're just going with the BAINT Paint, and telling people
it is an irreversible procedure at this point."

Although BAINT Paint is not yet on the market for the public, Bell Bicycle
Accessories have released several photos of the new product to the media,
including some spectacular pictures of the product being used in race
conditions.

Not everyone shares Mr. Hough's enthusiasm for the invisible paint. "Have
you ever wondered how stupid you look without your bike?" said one critic.
"Now you know." But Mr. Hough is convinced that with his product, bicycle
theft will be a thing of the past. "Invisible paint is here for real," he
quipped, "People just need to see it to believe it!"

Posted Wednesday - 2004-11-24 - 23:43:14 EST
by Staff Reporter Verdra H. Ciretop in Toronto
All Rights Unreserved - Loof Lirpa Publishing
Text may be freely copied & redistributed

Photos: http://www.geocities.com/verdrahciretop/invisibike.html

Verdra H. Ciretop wrote:
snip more of the same "humor"

Damn, I thought these threads had died a quiet death.
When will it end?

Matt