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Bicycling and Divorce



 
 
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  #11  
Old December 12th 12, 07:29 PM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
Edward Dolan
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Posts: 14,212
Default Bicycling and Divorce

"John B." wrote in message
...

On Sun, 9 Dec 2012 21:40:17 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
.. .
[...]

I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their

wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my
marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some
sort of adversary sort of thing.

I don’t know of anyone who gets married for an adversarial relationship.
But
the fact is that men and women are very different. There are damn few
things
that men and women can do together and enjoy equally. Once this is
recognized, there is nothing wrong or untoward in letting one's mate do her
or his thing without interference. The family that stays together overly
much is destined for a shipwreck.

When it comes to cycling I recommend that men cycle with other men and that
women cycle with other women. That is the only way it is ever equally
enjoyable for both sexes. Tandem cycling is an abomination and was most
likely an invention of the Devil!

I am imparting this knowledge to you from 75 years of being not only a
bachelor, but a hermit besides. Only us hermits know anything worth
knowing.
Everyone else has been corrupted by too much human contact. Experience is
an
ugly thing and never worth the bother.

Ed Dolan the Great


Well your 75 years of no experience is hardly evidence of a great

knowledge of the state.

Experience is vastly overrated.

Your comment that "The family that stays together overly

much is destined for a shipwreck" may be true in Modern America but it
certainly wasn't the original concept. Originally marriage served the
purpose of (hopefully) ensured that any kids that the husband had to
support through their formative years were his and secondly it
provided a unit, call it partnership if you want, that was far more
capable of coping with life than a single person. Try going out and
plowing 40 acres and than coming home and doing the washing, ironing
and cook supper all by your self.

You have an old fashion idea of marriage. What women want are children. It
is a boon if they can also find some male boob to support them, but it is
not necessary anymore. Various units of government will support her and her
brood. Of course, under such conditions, the kids all grow up to be
criminals and society goes straight to perdition.

Hells Bells, marriage is no longer between one man and one woman in several
states. Marriage can now be anything you want it to be. But the fact is
that traditional marriage is going the way of the Dodo Bird.

Marriage is a balancing act. Too much togetherness is not good nor is too
much separation. Husbands and wives can do things separately (such as
cycling) as long as you meet up at the end of the day or the week. But I
still think separate vacations of more than a week are somewhat risky.

Thus spake Zarathustra!

Ed Dolan the Great

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  #12  
Old December 13th 12, 04:26 AM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
john B.
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Posts: 2,603
Default Bicycling and Divorce

On Wed, 12 Dec 2012 12:29:08 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
.. .

On Sun, 9 Dec 2012 21:40:17 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:

"John B." wrote in message
. ..
[...]

I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their

wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my
marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some
sort of adversary sort of thing.

I dont know of anyone who gets married for an adversarial relationship.
But
the fact is that men and women are very different. There are damn few
things
that men and women can do together and enjoy equally. Once this is
recognized, there is nothing wrong or untoward in letting one's mate do her
or his thing without interference. The family that stays together overly
much is destined for a shipwreck.

When it comes to cycling I recommend that men cycle with other men and that
women cycle with other women. That is the only way it is ever equally
enjoyable for both sexes. Tandem cycling is an abomination and was most
likely an invention of the Devil!

I am imparting this knowledge to you from 75 years of being not only a
bachelor, but a hermit besides. Only us hermits know anything worth
knowing.
Everyone else has been corrupted by too much human contact. Experience is
an
ugly thing and never worth the bother.

Ed Dolan the Great


Well your 75 years of no experience is hardly evidence of a great

knowledge of the state.

Experience is vastly overrated.


Thus speaks the inexperienced.


Your comment that "The family that stays together overly

much is destined for a shipwreck" may be true in Modern America but it
certainly wasn't the original concept. Originally marriage served the
purpose of (hopefully) ensured that any kids that the husband had to
support through their formative years were his and secondly it
provided a unit, call it partnership if you want, that was far more
capable of coping with life than a single person. Try going out and
plowing 40 acres and than coming home and doing the washing, ironing
and cook supper all by your self.

You have an old fashion idea of marriage. What women want are children. It
is a boon if they can also find some male boob to support them, but it is
not necessary anymore. Various units of government will support her and her
brood. Of course, under such conditions, the kids all grow up to be
criminals and society goes straight to perdition.



Hells Bells, marriage is no longer between one man and one woman in several
states. Marriage can now be anything you want it to be. But the fact is
that traditional marriage is going the way of the Dodo Bird.

Marriage is a balancing act. Too much togetherness is not good nor is too
much separation. Husbands and wives can do things separately (such as
cycling) as long as you meet up at the end of the day or the week. But I
still think separate vacations of more than a week are somewhat risky.


This seems to be some sort of modern idea. At least my parent's
generation viewed divorce as a rather despicable act. As for separate
vacations, I doubt that they would have contemplated such an exercise
- they liked each other.

But you are correct, Modern America appears to contemplate marriage as
a temporary arrangement at best. I keep reading about people with
"partners" although that may be a politically correct expression to
avoid upsetting the "X" sex.
(Australian passports are now issued showing M (male), F (female) or X
(indeterminate/unspecified/intersex))
--
Cheers,
John B.
  #13  
Old December 13th 12, 10:37 PM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
Edward Dolan
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Posts: 14,212
Default Bicycling and Divorce

"John B." wrote in message
...

On Wed, 12 Dec 2012 12:29:08 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote:
[...]

Experience is vastly overrated.


Thus speaks the inexperienced.


It is best to contemplate the eternal verities from a theoretical aspect
only. All experience is a form of pollution.

Thus spake Zarathustra!

Marriage is a balancing act. Too much togetherness is not good nor is too
much separation. Husbands and wives can do things separately (such as
cycling) as long as you meet up at the end of the day or the week. But I
still think separate vacations of more than a week are somewhat risky.


This seems to be some sort of modern idea. At least my parent's

generation viewed divorce as a rather despicable act. As for separate
vacations, I doubt that they would have contemplated such an exercise
- they liked each other.

A marriage only needs to last about 15 years, just long enough to get your
children launched ... although today it might take more like 30 years.
Husbands and wives can still like one another and prefer to be apart for
varying periods of time for one reason or another.

But you are correct, Modern America appears to contemplate marriage as

a temporary arrangement at best. I keep reading about people with
"partners" although that may be a politically correct expression to
avoid upsetting the "X" sex.
(Australian passports are now issued showing M (male), F (female) or X
(indeterminate/unspecified/intersex))

I will admit that nature does create some freaks of indeterminate sex but
such mistakes are few and far between. After all, nature is only intent on
perpetuating the species and this is only acomplished via males impregnating
females. The “X” sex always only constitutes about .00000000001% of a
population and is best ignored for the nonentity that it is.

Ed Dolan the Great


  #14  
Old January 21st 13, 01:16 AM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
Jym Dyer
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Posts: 999
Default Bicycling and Divorce

= Brian D. Potter
For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home
town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic"
mentality.


=v= Imagine that, a "mentality" that happens to be traffic law
in all 50 states. :^)

=v= Critical Mass, in same way or another, was behind my meeting
nearly every girlfriend for the last 20 years. That doesn't
mean every relationship with a biker has worked, nor that the
bike was responsible for the ones that didn't.

Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger,
tension, disappointment?


=
It works MUCH better than therapy.


=v= Emotions in the light of divorce are situational, rather
than an inherent imbalance in chemistry to be treated with e.g.
antidepressants, so cycling can address the emotional states
just by producing endorphins.

=v= Therapy that works to identify underlying motivations and
unconscious behavior patterns that interfere with relationships
could be a greater improvement in the long run, though it's not
easy to find a competent relationship therapist. Currently the
track record of most therapies is no better than no therapy at
all (but indentifying these things may still be what you want).
_Jym_
  #15  
Old January 21st 13, 01:27 AM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
Jym Dyer
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 999
Default Bicycling and Divorce

= John B.
I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away
from their wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old
fashioned by my marriages have been more a matter of forming a
partnership than some sort of adversary sort of thing.


=v= Yeah, the whole adversary thing is tiresome and inane, just
a bunch of sad jokes that have been repeated ad nauseum. Maybe
they're understandable as a coping mechanism, but why inflict
unfunny humor on the rest of us?

=v= Separate vacations isn't necessarily a bad thing and doesn't
mean a relationship is doomed. People can love each other very
much and want to spend their lives together, but still pursue
separate interests from time to time.
_Jym_
  #16  
Old January 21st 13, 02:16 AM posted to rec.bicycles.soc
J.B.Slocomb
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Posts: 73
Default Bicycling and Divorce

On Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:27:08 -0800, Jym Dyer wrote:

= John B.
I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away
from their wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old
fashioned by my marriages have been more a matter of forming a
partnership than some sort of adversary sort of thing.


=v= Yeah, the whole adversary thing is tiresome and inane, just
a bunch of sad jokes that have been repeated ad nauseum. Maybe
they're understandable as a coping mechanism, but why inflict
unfunny humor on the rest of us?

=v= Separate vacations isn't necessarily a bad thing and doesn't
mean a relationship is doomed. People can love each other very
much and want to spend their lives together, but still pursue
separate interests from time to time.
_Jym_


I'm sure that social mores have a lot to do with the stability of
marriages. In, say my grandparents day, divorce was simply "not the
thing to do" in the social and religious atmosphere that prevailed at
the time in rural New England.

In addition to the social stigmata of divorce was the fact that
marriages were usually contracted between members of the local society
and thus between individuals who had likely known each other for most
of their life.

--
Cheers,

John B.
 




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