OT (parody): Breathing is dangerous

Breathing is dangerous. The air around us contains poisonous chemicals (CO,
CO2, NO2, etc). In cities, it contains all kinds of known carcinogens. We
cannot avoid these dangerous chemicals, but wearing a gas mask reduces the
risk of encountering them. Look at all the people you know who have died of
cancer - did they wear gas masks all the time? Of course not. We need to
force all people to wear gas masks. I urge all readers to write to their
respective elected officials to push for mandatory use of gas masks.