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#1
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be? Some possibilities: 1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of dignity. 2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone) patch instead. 3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid. Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an entertaining theory. |
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#2
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
"Bob Dole" wrote in message oups.com... Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what might the next story be? Some possibilities: 3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid. It was the Lebanon bologna--good stuff. |
#3
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
Bob Dole wrote: Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what might the next story be? Some possibilities: 1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of dignity. 2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone) patch instead. 3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid. Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an entertaining theory. A couple of cases like that were reported in the book "Breaking the Chain": 1. There was a urine switch, but the urine of a van driver was used and the driver had recently used speed. 2. A cyclist took some stuff from a sognier on another team, a guy who had a reputation for dirty tricks, giving opposing cyclist dope that would show up on a test. |
#4
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
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#5
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
Well thank God he was not busted for smoking hash... |
#6
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
Bob Dole Wrote: Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what might the next story be? Some possibilities: 1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of dignity. 2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone) patch instead. 3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid. Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an entertaining theory. This is so funny because you don't know how true one of your statements is. In the 2004 off season Froid was having a difficult loosing weight so he was placing Nicorette patches on his arms to speed his metabolism. -- BJC |
#7
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone) patch instead. This is so funny because you don't know how true one of your statements is. In the 2004 off season Froid was having a difficult loosing weight so he was placing Nicorette patches on his arms to speed his metabolism. No stranger to doping then, eh ! |
#8
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
On 1 Aug 2006 02:48:49 -0700, "Bob Dole" wrote:
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what might the next story be? Some possibilities: 1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of dignity. 2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone) patch instead. 3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid. Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an entertaining theory. Took it up the ass : having sunk very low he roams around Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne and ends up in a gay bar. To ease the forthcoming pain decides to lube up and in the absence of KJ accepts the suppositories handed by a Spanish friend. Turns out these were Rastandol suppositories hence the T levels. Landis says he feels better now that he's come out of the closet. Ullrich comments that this is a disgrace and that he's totally clean in that respect and asks to be reinstated. Michaud adds "I knew it" ! |
#9
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
"Dumbass" wrote in message oups.com... A couple of cases like that were reported in the book "Breaking the Chain": 1. There was a urine switch, but the urine of a van driver was used and the driver had recently used speed. Not sure if that was an urban legend or really happened, but a male athlete was once tested and found to be pregnant... |
#10
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Humor (?): Landis's next claim
Bob Dole wrote:
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what might the next story be? - vindictive masseuse rubbed cream on him without knowledge - he thought it was flaxseed oil - his body is unique in that it generates synthetic testosterone - Miguel Tejada injected a "B12" shot that turned out to be something else |
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