Hopes rise that cycling will now be banned

Breaking news:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...-2012082539103

THE Lance Armstrong drug scandal has raised hopes that cycling can now be
stopped altogether.

Future generations will thank him

Armstrong has been stripped of the seven Tour de France titles that bored
people so comprehensively between 1999 and 2005. Now campaigners want to
seize the latest chance to end cycling in all its monstrous varieties and
have all bicycles confiscated, melted down and turned into cars.

Tom Logan, chairman of Please Shut Up About Cycling, said: "Everyone knows
that the best way to make something more interesting is to throw a load of
drugs at it. "But with cycling it simply didn't work. Instead - and this
may seem outlandish - it actually made it even more tedious. "It's a large
group of obsessives travelling at 25 miles per hour. If you came across them
on a country road you would hate their ****ing guts."

Logan also stressed that nothing was more symbolic of Britain's decline than
its hysterical pride 'in a bunch of shaved robots'.

"Sideburns and bowling shoes do not a personality make. If he had a four
foot-wide handlebar moustache and wore a shocking pink mini-kilt then that
would be a start. But it doesn't really matter because ultimately he's still
just a dreary knee-pumper."

Logan praised Armstrong adding: "For every Wiggins, Hoy and Pendleton who
inspires a child to get on a bike, we need a Lance Armstrong to shame them
into getting straight back off again.

"And to all those who say that cycling is the 'answer', I say 'shut your
face'.

"Electric cars, GM crops and stem cell research - there's your answer."

On 28/08/2012 12:46, John Benn wrote:
Breaking news:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...-2012082539103


THE Lance Armstrong drug scandal has raised hopes that cycling can now
be stopped altogether.

Future generations will thank him

Armstrong has been stripped of the seven Tour de France titles that
bored people so comprehensively between 1999 and 2005. Now campaigners
want to seize the latest chance to end cycling in all its monstrous
varieties and have all bicycles confiscated, melted down and turned into
cars.

Tom Logan, chairman of Please Shut Up About Cycling, said: "Everyone
knows that the best way to make something more interesting is to throw a
load of drugs at it. "But with cycling it simply didn't work. Instead -
and this may seem outlandish - it actually made it even more tedious.
"It's a large group of obsessives travelling at 25 miles per hour. If
you came across them on a country road you would hate their ****ing guts."

Logan also stressed that nothing was more symbolic of Britain's decline
than its hysterical pride 'in a bunch of shaved robots'.

"Sideburns and bowling shoes do not a personality make. If he had a four
foot-wide handlebar moustache and wore a shocking pink mini-kilt then
that would be a start. But it doesn't really matter because ultimately
he's still just a dreary knee-pumper."

Logan praised Armstrong adding: "For every Wiggins, Hoy and Pendleton
who inspires a child to get on a bike, we need a Lance Armstrong to
shame them into getting straight back off again.

"And to all those who say that cycling is the 'answer', I say 'shut your
face'.

"Electric cars, GM crops and stem cell research - there's your answer."


Excellent!



--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton, of Lancaster
University, wrote in an interim assessment of the Understanding Walking
and Cycling study. "For them, cycling is a bit embarrassing, they fail
to see its purpose, and have no interest in integrating it into their
lives, certainly on a regular basis."

On Aug 28, 5:48*pm, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:
On 28/08/2012 12:46, John Benn wrote:









Breaking news:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...es-rise-that-c...

THE Lance Armstrong drug scandal has raised hopes that cycling can now
be stopped altogether.

Future generations will thank him

Armstrong has been stripped of the seven Tour de France titles that
bored people so comprehensively between 1999 and 2005. *Now campaigners
want to seize the latest chance to end cycling in all its monstrous
varieties and have all bicycles confiscated, melted down and turned into
cars.

Tom Logan, chairman of Please Shut Up About Cycling, said: "Everyone
knows that the best way to make something more interesting is to throw a
load of drugs at it. *"But with cycling it simply didn't work. Instead -
and this may seem outlandish - it actually made it even more tedious.
"It's a large group of obsessives travelling at 25 miles per hour. If
you came across them on a country road you would hate their ****ing guts."

Logan also stressed that nothing was more symbolic of Britain's decline
than its hysterical pride 'in a bunch of shaved robots'.

"Sideburns and bowling shoes do not a personality make. If he had a four
foot-wide handlebar moustache and wore a shocking pink mini-kilt then
that would be a start. But it doesn't really matter because ultimately
he's still just a dreary knee-pumper."

Logan praised Armstrong adding: "For every Wiggins, Hoy and Pendleton
who inspires a child to get on a bike, we need a Lance Armstrong to
shame them into getting straight back off again.

"And to all those who say that cycling is the 'answer', I say 'shut your
face'.

"Electric cars, GM crops and stem cell research - there's your answer."

Excellent!

You would say that since it's what you actually think. Why can't you
just LEAVE CYCLISTS ALONE?

And I am NOT a 'wind-up' in reference to an earlier post of yours.
You're just saying that to get out of having to give my convincing
arguments a proper hearing. Who would be behind this 'wind-up', and
why?

On 29/08/2012 10:43, M Wicks wrote:
On Aug 28, 5:48 pm, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:
On 28/08/2012 12:46, John Benn wrote:









Breaking news:
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/...es-rise-that-c...

THE Lance Armstrong drug scandal has raised hopes that cycling can now
be stopped altogether.

Future generations will thank him

Armstrong has been stripped of the seven Tour de France titles that
bored people so comprehensively between 1999 and 2005. Now campaigners
want to seize the latest chance to end cycling in all its monstrous
varieties and have all bicycles confiscated, melted down and turned into
cars.

Tom Logan, chairman of Please Shut Up About Cycling, said: "Everyone
knows that the best way to make something more interesting is to throw a
load of drugs at it. "But with cycling it simply didn't work. Instead -
and this may seem outlandish - it actually made it even more tedious.
"It's a large group of obsessives travelling at 25 miles per hour. If
you came across them on a country road you would hate their ****ing guts."

Logan also stressed that nothing was more symbolic of Britain's decline
than its hysterical pride 'in a bunch of shaved robots'.

"Sideburns and bowling shoes do not a personality make. If he had a four
foot-wide handlebar moustache and wore a shocking pink mini-kilt then
that would be a start. But it doesn't really matter because ultimately
he's still just a dreary knee-pumper."

Logan praised Armstrong adding: "For every Wiggins, Hoy and Pendleton
who inspires a child to get on a bike, we need a Lance Armstrong to
shame them into getting straight back off again.

"And to all those who say that cycling is the 'answer', I say 'shut your
face'.

"Electric cars, GM crops and stem cell research - there's your answer."

Excellent!

You would say that since it's what you actually think. Why can't you
just LEAVE CYCLISTS ALONE?

Because they are a plague on society.

And I am NOT a 'wind-up' in reference to an earlier post of yours.

Oh yes you are - and it's very good I have to say. Much better than
most psycholists could manage.

You're just saying that to get out of having to give my convincing
arguments a proper hearing.

You don't have any convincing arguments.


Who would be behind this 'wind-up', and
why?

That is the $64,000 question.

Zooterkins!

--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton, of Lancaster
University, wrote in an interim assessment of the Understanding Walking
and Cycling study. "For them, cycling is a bit embarrassing, they fail
to see its purpose, and have no interest in integrating it into their
lives, certainly on a regular basis."