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Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)



 
 
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  #1  
Old January 15th 12, 05:28 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Partac[_7_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 99
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

I haven't been following his Personal Trainer thread at all, as I can only
take so much of his bull****, but having a quick glance at it today reveals
a rather more sinister side to his personality; just take a look at his
ramblings:

Thirty Six's sea salt has meant I wake up in the wee small hours with my
mind racing with new ideas. I was wondering which areas of my life needed
sorting out. My job, house, car, fitness, weight and bikes are all sorted,
but one
area which caused me deep dissatisfaction was my wife.

***Steady, it's bloody hard being married to an alcoholic*******

Like many women her age, she has let herself go and has poor self-esteem.

*****Nice, keep the compliments coming ****

In about 5 minutes of analysis I had sorted it all out. I knew she loved
walking as she lost a load of weight in '08, but she had to do it alone and
lost motivation. I decided that I would become her personal trainer.

****Did she get any choice?******

Also, since I do all of the shopping online, I got rid of all of the high
calorie stuff like pies and cakes and ordered loads of high protein meats
and lots of fruit and veg. She eats pretty healthily but is susceptible to
temptations like most people. I chucked out all of the sugar and ordered
sweeteners.

*****Did she agree to that, or doesn't her opinion matter?******

I told her that we will be doing at least an hour of hill walking six days a
week along with her new low calorie diet.

******Did she agree to that, too, or did you just announce it to her?****

Yesterday was day 1 and with my eldest daughter who now lives with us again,
we found a local 12% hill as
part of a 3-mile circuit. I have a fantastic knowledge of local hills as my
cycling club mates had shown me them all.

I described the hill in detail and when we hit the hardest part she wanted
to give up and rest, but I told her that she had conquered the hill and it
now starts to flatten out.

***Did she have a choice, or did you just force her on? *****

I knew that from the gradient display on my GPS. It gave her a big boost and
she walked on. She loved seeing the peacocks and
horses and the sensation of being outdoors instead of watching Deal or no
Deal.

I did some number crunching and told her that a 3lb a week weight loss would
mean that in June when we go on holiday that she had the opportunity to have
lost 7.5 stone in weight by then. She would be 9 stone and all of her old
clothes would fit again.

****Not encouraging her on by offering to buy her new outfits, then , Just
let her wear all her old gear*****

This had the biggest effect on her and she is now supermotivated to keep it
up.

We'll see her new figure in the holiday snaps next June.

Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight she
doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.

Ads
  #2  
Old January 15th 12, 05:58 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7,703
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

On 15/01/2012 16:28, Partac wrote:
I haven't been following his Personal Trainer thread at all, as I can
only take so much of his bull****, but having a quick glance at it today
reveals a rather more sinister side to his personality; just take a look
at his ramblings:

Thirty Six's sea salt has meant I wake up in the wee small hours with my
mind racing with new ideas. I was wondering which areas of my life needed
sorting out. My job, house, car, fitness, weight and bikes are all
sorted, but one
area which caused me deep dissatisfaction was my wife.

***Steady, it's bloody hard being married to an alcoholic*******

Like many women her age, she has let herself go and has poor self-esteem.

*****Nice, keep the compliments coming ****

In about 5 minutes of analysis I had sorted it all out. I knew she loved
walking as she lost a load of weight in '08, but she had to do it alone and
lost motivation. I decided that I would become her personal trainer.

****Did she get any choice?******

Also, since I do all of the shopping online, I got rid of all of the high
calorie stuff like pies and cakes and ordered loads of high protein meats
and lots of fruit and veg. She eats pretty healthily but is susceptible to
temptations like most people. I chucked out all of the sugar and ordered
sweeteners.

*****Did she agree to that, or doesn't her opinion matter?******

I told her that we will be doing at least an hour of hill walking six
days a
week along with her new low calorie diet.

******Did she agree to that, too, or did you just announce it to her?****

Yesterday was day 1 and with my eldest daughter who now lives with us
again, we found a local 12% hill as
part of a 3-mile circuit. I have a fantastic knowledge of local hills as my
cycling club mates had shown me them all.

I described the hill in detail and when we hit the hardest part she wanted
to give up and rest, but I told her that she had conquered the hill and it
now starts to flatten out.

***Did she have a choice, or did you just force her on? *****

I knew that from the gradient display on my GPS. It gave her a big boost
and she walked on. She loved seeing the peacocks and
horses and the sensation of being outdoors instead of watching Deal or
no Deal.

I did some number crunching and told her that a 3lb a week weight loss
would
mean that in June when we go on holiday that she had the opportunity to
have
lost 7.5 stone in weight by then. She would be 9 stone and all of her old
clothes would fit again.

****Not encouraging her on by offering to buy her new outfits, then ,
Just let her wear all her old gear*****

This had the biggest effect on her and she is now supermotivated to keep
it up.

We'll see her new figure in the holiday snaps next June.

Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight
she doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.



She almost certainly will. No doubt about it.

--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton - Lancaster
University
  #3  
Old January 15th 12, 06:51 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Mr. Benn[_9_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 875
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

"Partac" wrote in message ...

I haven't been following his Personal Trainer thread at all, as I can only
take so much of his bull****, but having a quick glance at it today reveals
a rather more sinister side to his personality; just take a look at his
ramblings:

Thirty Six's sea salt has meant I wake up in the wee small hours with my
mind racing with new ideas. I was wondering which areas of my life needed
sorting out. My job, house, car, fitness, weight and bikes are all sorted,
but one
area which caused me deep dissatisfaction was my wife.

***Steady, it's bloody hard being married to an alcoholic*******

Like many women her age, she has let herself go and has poor self-esteem.

*****Nice, keep the compliments coming ****

In about 5 minutes of analysis I had sorted it all out. I knew she loved
walking as she lost a load of weight in '08, but she had to do it alone and
lost motivation. I decided that I would become her personal trainer.

****Did she get any choice?******

Also, since I do all of the shopping online, I got rid of all of the high
calorie stuff like pies and cakes and ordered loads of high protein meats
and lots of fruit and veg. She eats pretty healthily but is susceptible to
temptations like most people. I chucked out all of the sugar and ordered
sweeteners.

*****Did she agree to that, or doesn't her opinion matter?******

I told her that we will be doing at least an hour of hill walking six days a
week along with her new low calorie diet.

******Did she agree to that, too, or did you just announce it to her?****

Yesterday was day 1 and with my eldest daughter who now lives with us again,
we found a local 12% hill as
part of a 3-mile circuit. I have a fantastic knowledge of local hills as my
cycling club mates had shown me them all.

I described the hill in detail and when we hit the hardest part she wanted
to give up and rest, but I told her that she had conquered the hill and it
now starts to flatten out.

***Did she have a choice, or did you just force her on? *****

I knew that from the gradient display on my GPS. It gave her a big boost and
she walked on. She loved seeing the peacocks and
horses and the sensation of being outdoors instead of watching Deal or no
Deal.

I did some number crunching and told her that a 3lb a week weight loss would
mean that in June when we go on holiday that she had the opportunity to have
lost 7.5 stone in weight by then. She would be 9 stone and all of her old
clothes would fit again.

****Not encouraging her on by offering to buy her new outfits, then , Just
let her wear all her old gear*****

This had the biggest effect on her and she is now supermotivated to keep it
up.

We'll see her new figure in the holiday snaps next June.

Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight she
doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.

===========================================

I still cannot believe that Simon Mason talks about his wife and family like
this publicly. It's incredibly disrespectful. I would never discuss my
partner's personal details in public. If I did and she found out, my life
wouldn't be worth living!

Some people just don't know what is appropriate to discuss publically and
when to keep their mouths shut for their own benefit.

  #4  
Old January 16th 12, 08:37 AM posted to uk.rec.cycling
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 492
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

On Jan 15, 4:28*pm, "Partac" wrote:

Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight she
doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.


That is my plan.
I can then run off with a 25 year old dolly bird that I have waiting
in the wings :-)

--
Simon Mason
  #5  
Old January 16th 12, 12:22 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Partac[_7_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 99
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)



wrote in message
...

On Jan 15, 4:28 pm, "Partac" wrote:

Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight she
doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.


That is my plan.
I can then run off with a 25 year old dolly bird that I have waiting
in the wings :-)

Bet she doesn't know you're an alcoholic - unless she is, too. You'd both be
able to get completely arseholed together.

  #6  
Old January 16th 12, 12:46 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 492
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

On Jan 16, 11:22*am, "Partac" wrote:
wrote in ...

On Jan 15, 4:28 pm, "Partac" wrote:



Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight she
doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.


That is my plan.
I can then run off with a 25 year old dolly bird that I have waiting
in the wings :-)

Bet she doesn't know you're an alcoholic - unless she is, too. You'd both be
able to get completely arseholed together.


As she mainly drinks Champagne I would be bankrupt after a few months.

--
Simon Mason
  #7  
Old January 16th 12, 01:51 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Partac[_7_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 99
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)



wrote in message
...

On Jan 16, 11:22 am, "Partac" wrote:
wrote in
...

On Jan 15, 4:28 pm, "Partac" wrote:



Now I don't know what others think, but this seems to be the psyche of a
control freak. I hope for your sake when she has lost all that weight
she
doesn't meet someone much nicer than you.


That is my plan.
I can then run off with a 25 year old dolly bird that I have waiting
in the wings :-)

Bet she doesn't know you're an alcoholic - unless she is, too. You'd both
be
able to get completely arseholed together.


As she mainly drinks Champagne I would be bankrupt after a few months.


Give her Cava - a fellow alcoholic wouldn't notice the difference.

  #8  
Old January 16th 12, 01:54 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 492
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

On Jan 16, 12:51*pm, "Partac" wrote:
Bet she doesn't know you're an alcoholic - unless she is, too. You'd both
be
able to get completely arseholed together.


As she mainly drinks Champagne I would be bankrupt after a few months.

Give her Cava - a fellow alcoholic wouldn't notice the difference.- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


That's uncanny - there will be two bottles of Cava arriving tomorrow.
Two for a tenner, about a fifth of my weekly beer bill.

--
Simon Mason
  #9  
Old January 16th 12, 02:11 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Partac[_7_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 99
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)



wrote in message
...

On Jan 16, 12:51 pm, "Partac" wrote:
Bet she doesn't know you're an alcoholic - unless she is, too. You'd
both
be
able to get completely arseholed together.


As she mainly drinks Champagne I would be bankrupt after a few months.

Give her Cava - a fellow alcoholic wouldn't notice the difference.- Hide
quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


That's uncanny - there will be two bottles of Cava arriving tomorrow.
Two for a tenner, about a fifth of my weekly beer bill.

That will be a lot quicker for you to get your fix - a couple of pints of
cava should do the trick.

  #10  
Old January 16th 12, 02:14 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 492
Default Simon Mason (Personal Trainer)

On Jan 16, 1:11*pm, "Partac" wrote:
wrote in ...

On Jan 16, 12:51 pm, "Partac" wrote:

Bet she doesn't know you're an alcoholic - unless she is, too. You'd
both
be
able to get completely arseholed together.


As she mainly drinks Champagne I would be bankrupt after a few months.


Give her Cava - a fellow alcoholic wouldn't notice the difference.- Hide
quoted text -


- Show quoted text -


That's uncanny - there will be two bottles of Cava arriving tomorrow.
Two for a tenner, about a fifth of my weekly beer bill.

That will be a lot quicker for you to get your fix - a couple of pints of
cava should do the trick.


That would break my nothing over 5% rule.
Drinking wine and spirits is the slippery slope into alcoholism - I
have seen too many go down that route and don't intend to follow them.

--
Simon Mason
 




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