Study Shows LSD Prevents Heart Attacks

A study performed by Dr. Imemine of Grupo de Norepinephrine Labs, proves
conclusively that a daily dosage of 800 micrograms of Lysergic Acid
Di-ethylawhatever, prevents either heart attacks or maybe cancer, or maybe
both, but not both at the same time.

"But if you take an aspirin a day," said Imemine, "That'll prevent heart
attacks, and if you drink it down with a glass of red wine, that'll prevent
cancer and, at that point, it doesn't really matter which one the LSD
doesn't prevent. So you can take it everyday with complete confidence."