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Vandenbroucke Hopeful to Keep His Contract
Vandenbroucke Hopeful to Keep His Contract
Despite being a pussy and finishing the second stage of the Four Days of Dunkirk, Frank Vandenbroucke (MrBookmaker.com) will not take part in the third stage because bike racing is a really hard sport and he didn't want to risk exposing himself for being the pussy that he really is. Team manager Hilaire Van der Schueren told BFD, "It was planned that Frank would give up after two days. We stuck to that because Frank likes giving up. Frank didn't ride badly today, but crashed when he went to get his bike from the bike rack and then had two punctures. But he made progress, and that offers us more prospects of trying new drugs in the future." Vandenbroucke said that he was "not dissatisfied with these two days. We'll see how it goes, but I hope to keep my lame ass contract for a few more days. I know that I'm at the end of the road because I'm utterly devoid of all feeling or understanding or desire, with no idea of what I'm doing, or why. In this state of mind, I'm unable to even write a decent postscript to a suicide note, it's clear that I'm not employable at any level of the social order or disorder. And, in this drug induced haze, the only other ****job I could even think about trying for, is either the job where I get caught injecting myself with highly concentrated horse tranquilizer or the job where I join a consulting firm whose motto is "We give up!" Source: http://www.cyclingnews.com/news.php?...y05/may06news1 Disclaimer Everything in this posting is parody. No endorsements by any company or person parodied is intended or inferred. The people, events and corporations mentioned on this site are completely fictional and bear no resemblance to anyone or anything, living, dead or neo-conservative. Anything bearing any resemblance to anything else anywhere in the universe, including alternate timelines or planes of reality, are the result of circumstances defined by advanced mathematical models beyond our ability to control or understand. As for the rest, everything true is true, and everything false is done for the purpose of satire, defined as "irony or caustic wit used to expose or attack human folly" (American Heritage Dictionary, 4th ed. abr., 2001), and defined by lawyers as protected speech, so get over it already. You use this posting at your own risk; we will accept no responsibility for any injury, mental or physical, to yourself or others, directly or indirectly caused by reading this posting. By viewing this posting you agree that it is not real and all just a big joke. |
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