should i or shouldn't i...

Hi,
ok, i was heading to an exit door. At the same time a cyclist
pushing his bike also was approaching for the same door, i walked a
little bit faster and reached the door quickly and held the door open
for the cyclist. Instead, the cyclist insisted on i go thru the door
first, after two times going back and forth, i had to go thru the door
and he exited after me. He commutes daily by bike, and he knows that i
too sometimes commute by bike. We exchange hellos sometimes. Still
puzzling thing was why he insisted on *not* letting me hold the door
open for him. Upon reflection, i came up with two ways to look at things is:

1. this person is holding the door out of courtesy
2. Or, this person thinks the cyclist needs assistance..

when someone does something like that for me - i think it is #1 and
thank them and accept it. But after this incident, i think #2 is also a
possibility.

I am sure so many of you have been in such situations, how do you react?

may be, i should read some book on social effects of cycling

+ravi

"Ravi" wrote in message
m...
Hi,
ok, i was heading to an exit door. At the same time a cyclist pushing
his bike also was approaching for the same door, i walked a little bit
faster and reached the door quickly and held the door open for the
cyclist. Instead, the cyclist insisted on i go thru the door first, after
two times going back and forth, i had to go thru the door and he exited
after me. He commutes daily by bike, and he knows that i too sometimes
commute by bike. We exchange hellos sometimes. Still puzzling thing was
why he insisted on *not* letting me hold the door open for him. Upon
reflection, i came up with two ways to look at things is:

1. this person is holding the door out of courtesy
2. Or, this person thinks the cyclist needs assistance..

when someone does something like that for me - i think it is #1 and thank
them and accept it. But after this incident, i think #2 is also a
possibility.

I am sure so many of you have been in such situations, how do you react?

may be, i should read some book on social effects of cycling

I run into this on a frequent basis. I don't want people holding doors for
me. They don't know where to stand, they get in the way, I can't get through
the door with my bike without bumping them or bumping myself or my bike in
an effort not to bump them. It's awkward.

On the other hand, I know how to go through doors with my bike. I know how
to do it effortlessly and without help.

So when someone tries to hold a door for me I just say "thanks, but it'll be
easier if you just go ahead."

RichC

Ravi wrote:
Hi,
ok, i was heading to an exit door. At the same time a cyclist pushing
his bike also was approaching for the same door, i walked a little bit
faster and reached the door quickly and held the door open for the
cyclist. Instead, the cyclist insisted on i go thru the door first,
after two times going back and forth, i had to go thru the door and he
exited after me. He commutes daily by bike, and he knows that i too
sometimes commute by bike. We exchange hellos sometimes. Still puzzling
thing was why he insisted on *not* letting me hold the door open for
him. Upon reflection, i came up with two ways to look at things is:

1. this person is holding the door out of courtesy
2. Or, this person thinks the cyclist needs assistance..

when someone does something like that for me - i think it is #1 and
thank them and accept it. But after this incident, i think #2 is also a
possibility.

I am sure so many of you have been in such situations, how do you react?

may be, i should read some book on social effects of cycling

+ravi
People insist on holding the door for you because
1. They perceive it's unwieldy and you have to struggle with it. The
truth is it's easy and those of us who carry our bikes through doors
every day do it easily.
2. They are courteous - people hold the door open for each other when
they don't have bikes, eh?
3. They don't understand that two people plus one bike do NOT fit in a
doorway, and the effort of going around someone standing IN a doorway is
more difficult than holding the door open for ones self.

It's hard to explain item no. 3 to non-cyclists. I've given up. Now I
pretend like I'm doing something else until they go away.

Collin "Oh, I'm just putzing with my little light here for a while,
thanks anyway." O'Neill

"Rich Clark" wrote in
:


"Ravi" wrote in message
m...
Hi,
ok, i was heading to an exit door. At the same time a cyclist
pushing
his bike also was approaching for the same door, i walked a little
bit faster and reached the door quickly and held the door open for
the cyclist. Instead, the cyclist insisted on i go thru the door
first, after two times going back and forth, i had to go thru the
door and he exited after me. He commutes daily by bike, and he knows
that i too sometimes commute by bike. We exchange hellos sometimes.
Still puzzling thing was why he insisted on *not* letting me hold the
door open for him. Upon reflection, i came up with two ways to look
at things is:

1. this person is holding the door out of courtesy
2. Or, this person thinks the cyclist needs assistance..

when someone does something like that for me - i think it is #1 and
thank them and accept it. But after this incident, i think #2 is also
a possibility.

I am sure so many of you have been in such situations, how do you
react?

may be, i should read some book on social effects of cycling

I run into this on a frequent basis. I don't want people holding doors
for me. They don't know where to stand, they get in the way, I can't
get through the door with my bike without bumping them or bumping
myself or my bike in an effort not to bump them. It's awkward.

On the other hand, I know how to go through doors with my bike. I know
how to do it effortlessly and without help.

So when someone tries to hold a door for me I just say "thanks, but
it'll be easier if you just go ahead."

RichC




Here in New York, apartment buildings have _double_ doors. It's tough
to get to the inner door before the outer door thwacks the rear wheel.
Tough, but doable. So I can do it myself, but I appreciate anyone who
holds the door. Especially when I'm coming in with the 'bent.

--ag

Ravi wrote:
ok, i was heading to an exit door. At the same time a cyclist
pushing his bike also was approaching for the same door, i walked a
little bit faster and reached the door quickly and held the door open
for the cyclist. Instead, the cyclist insisted on i go thru the door
first, ...

Where in Little Rock was this?

--Karen D.

Veloise wrote:
Ravi wrote:

ok, i was heading to an exit door. At the same time a cyclist
pushing his bike also was approaching for the same door, i walked a
little bit faster and reached the door quickly and held the door open
for the cyclist. Instead, the cyclist insisted on i go thru the door
first, ...

Where in Little Rock was this?

lol

Rich Clark wrote:
I run into this on a frequent basis. I don't want people holding doors for
me. They don't know where to stand, they get in the way, I can't get through
the door with my bike without bumping them or bumping myself or my bike in
an effort not to bump them. It's awkward.

yeah. was holding the door open for him asking him to go thru the door
first, i was holding the door open and standing behind the door - full
passage way open for the cyclist.


On the other hand, I know how to go through doors with my bike. I know how
to do it effortlessly and without help.

hmm... i guess, that must be it. He knows a certain way, let him make
fine tune it.

+ravi

Veloise wrote:

Where in Little Rock was this?

one more story for you: i witnessed even recently. Sometimes i ride a
train/trolley with my bike. Once inside the train/trolley, you gotto
lift the bike up and hang it on one wheel. Once, i had just entered and
saw this happening: one lady was trying to lift a heavy mtn bike and was
struggling to get the front wheel hooked - (its kinda tricky to lift the
bike and hook the front wheel) and she is probably new to it or haven't
mastered the art of doing it. One gentleman closer to her offered to
help, but she declined it vehemently and saying "I am an independant
woman!" and then he backed off and she couldn't hang the bike, continued
to hold the bike on the floor of the train/troller until her stop.

+ravi


--Karen D.

People insist on holding the door for you because
1. They perceive it's unwieldy and you have to struggle with it. The
truth is it's easy and those of us who carry our bikes through doors
every day do it easily.
2. They are courteous - people hold the door open for each other when
they don't have bikes, eh?
3. They don't understand that two people plus one bike do NOT fit in a
doorway, and the effort of going around someone standing IN a doorway is
more difficult than holding the door open for ones self.

It's hard to explain item no. 3 to non-cyclists. I've given up. Now I
pretend like I'm doing something else until they go away.

Collin "Oh, I'm just putzing with my little light here for a while,
thanks anyway." O'Neill

Coming from the point of view of someone who was wheelchair bound for 3
months, and used a electric scooter for a further 6 months, I can
completely understand how #1 and #3 interact with each other.

They percieve that you have to struggle. Frequently, when I am in a
wheelchair, it is a struggle. Life is not designed for people who are
three feet tall. But, although people see the struggle they don't see
that their "help" isn't very helpful.

*GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY 'CHAIR*

I've never really figured out how to deal with this situation. The end
result is that strangers usually come across thinking that the girl in
the 'chair is awfully rude when they were just trying to be nice and do
something equivalent to picking up my legs and walking them for me.

My son uses a very large electric wheelchair controlled by a sonar
device in the headrest which he operates by head position (but
fortunately he is not "bound" to it as you were/are - he doesn't take
it to bed with him at night - sorry about your having to sleep with it!
) ) and the etiquette of getting through doors is always a challenge.
I agree - when folks put their hands on his w/c is it as if they are
violating his personal space.

However, we find that most folks are very helpful when they hold the
doors for him, and we/he/his wife accepts their assistance with
pleasure. Same with my bike and doors - although it usually is easier
to do it myself, I accept their assistance as an indication of their
kindness and willingness to help. Sometimes I will just say, "Thanks
so much, but I can do this better by myself." Sometimes, it IS easier
if they hold the door for me.

So, I think both are correct: 1. The person is holding the door out
of courtesy and 2. He/she think the bicyclist needs assistance. Isn't
that neat?

Both are much better, IMHO, than slamming the door in my face, however.