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AG: Aunt Granny's Advice, or How to become an elderly cyclist:



 
 
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  #381  
Old March 13th 16, 04:02 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Joy Beeson
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Posts: 1,638
Default AG: Unexpected uses


I closed the curtains in the sewing/typing room yesterday -- those
curtains usually function only as a place to file small tools and
notions. The leak in the middle was held closed with a wooden
clothespin stenciled "GEAR '89 Saratoga".

One of the convention-goers said that he was utterly baffled that two
clothespins would be included in the welcome package -- until he used
them to secure his map to his handlebar bag.

I don't carry clothespins on the bike, but a backpacker told me that
he was once very glad that two clothespins had fallen un-noticed into
his pack: the lean-to was full, and he and his companion had to
improvise a tent out of their ponchos.

I do keep two clothespins in my suitcase so I can make a skirt hanger
out of a dress hangar in the hotel. I drill a hole into a handle of
one of the pins and carry a piece of string in case I need a third
hand. (The kind also called a "sewing bird", not the kind that holds
your brakes closed.)


Since I'm the only female cyclist on Usenet, I won't bother to explain
how and why I stuff an eighteen-inch square torn out of an old
pillowcase into my bra; suffice it to say that I keep a few spare
sweat rags in my saddle bag.

Once upon a time, Sunset Street was under Pike Lake, but the sidewalk
wasn't, so I rode on the sidewalk. Just a few feet from the bridge
marking the end of the flooded portion, the sidewalk dipped under the
lake to cross a driveway and didn't come up again. By then the
nearest place where I could cross the railroad was miles behind me, so
I took off my shoes and socks and waded across the road. The water was
quite clean, but I picked up a lot of sand between the edge of the
flood and the place where I could sit down and put my shoes back on. I
was very glad that I had a rag to dry my feet and wipe off the sand.

Another time I set out to ride to Sidney, buy lunch in the orchard
store, and come back through Sprawlmart. About halfway to Sidney, I
put something into my middle pocket next to THERE IS NO WALLET IN THAT
POCKET!!!

I had left it home.

I do keep a folded bill in my patch kit in case of just such an
emergency, but I'd recently suffered the tragic loss of an emergency
kit that was the result of forty years of refinement, and hadn't yet
replaced the patch kit. Glumly, I lunched on emergency bars in
Sidney, and turned around to go home.

About three-fourths of the way home, I discovered that the safety pin
that kept the ankle of my pants out of the chain had popped open and
fallen off. No sweat, I always carry a few spare safety pins IN MY
WALLET. (There are now safety pins in my emergency kit.)

It turns out that a sweat rag tied around my ankle holds my pants much
more neatly than a safety pin. But if I ever do it on purpose, I'll
use a bandana -- people mistook the white cloth for a bandage and
asked how I'd gotten hurt.

And, of course, it's a comfort to know that if I run short of nose
tissue, I've got a cloth handkerchief in my saddle bag. I stuff a few
paper towels in there too.

--
joy beeson at comcast dot net
http://wlweather.net/PAGEJOY/
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.
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  #382  
Old March 20th 16, 04:26 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Joy Beeson
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Posts: 1,638
Default AG: Repairs and Upgrades


Never throw the old one out before you are sure the new one works.

--
joy beeson at comcast dot net
http://wlweather.net/PAGEJOY/
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.
  #383  
Old March 20th 16, 02:20 PM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Andrew Chaplin
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Posts: 206
Default AG: Repairs and Upgrades

Joy Beeson wrote in
:

Never throw the old one out before you are sure the new one works.


The quick way to a full garage and cellar.
--
Andrew Chaplin
SIT MIHI GLADIUS SICUT SANCTO MARTINO
(If you're going to e-mail me, you'll have to get "yourfinger." out.)
  #384  
Old March 27th 16, 04:05 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Joy Beeson
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Posts: 1,638
Default AG: Never startle anyone


"Thou shalt be predictable" is the whole of the traffic law; all else
is commentary.


--
joy beeson at comcast dot net
http://wlweather.net/PAGEJOY/
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.
  #385  
Old March 28th 16, 01:41 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
John B.[_6_]
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Posts: 2,202
Default AG: Never startle anyone

On Sat, 26 Mar 2016 23:05:18 -0400, Joy Beeson
wrote:


"Thou shalt be predictable" is the whole of the traffic law; all else
is commentary.


I believe that you have just uncovered the secret.
--
cheers,

John B.

  #386  
Old March 29th 16, 01:23 PM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Duane[_3_]
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Posts: 1,900
Default AG: Never startle anyone

On 26/03/2016 11:05 PM, Joy Beeson wrote:

"Thou shalt be predictable" is the whole of the traffic law; all else
is commentary.



Certainly lesson one when training new club members. Right before hold
a line.
  #387  
Old April 3rd 16, 04:36 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Joy Beeson
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Posts: 1,638
Default AG: Thinking of getting a mirror because it's hard to look back?

Thinking of getting a mirror because it's hard to look back?

DON'T DO IT!!!!

(Please read the all caps above in the hysterical tone you would use
when you see someone about to poke his fingers into a running garbage
disposer. A certain amount of hysteria in the rest of this post might
not be amiss.)

A MIRROR IS NOT A SUBSTITUTE FOR LOOKING BACK.

A mirror is for monitoring the situation behind you. Sometimes it
helps you to time looking back for the most-effective moment, but
using a mirror never replaces a glance over your shoulder.

So don't buy a mirror until you have mastered looking back. Using a
mirror too soon will prevent you from learning a vital skill.

Well, if you *can't* look back because you've got ankylosing
spondylitis, a mirror won't make your situation worse.

--
joy beeson at comcast dot net
http://wlweather.net/PAGEJOY/
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.


  #388  
Old April 10th 16, 01:14 PM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Joy Beeson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,638
Default AG: Making a scarf into a coif

When I was a girl, little girls wore scarves on their heads in cold
weather. The scarves were tied in what later came to be called
"babushka" style: Fold a square in half, drape the middle of the fold
over the top of your head, tie a square knot under the chin.

Short of a fur-lined aviator's helmet, this was the warmest way to
cover a head that we knew of.

After growing up, I found a warmer way: instead of tying the scarf
and leaving drafts around the knot, overlap the corners under one's
chin, tucking one corner under the other, then pin the other near
one's ear.

Which is all very well when walking, but it tends to billow out into
the field of view of one's helmet mirror.

Using a large scarf, crossing the corners under the chin, and tying
them together in the back keeps everything smooth and close to the
head.

But with a thick scarf, that leads to a pile-up around the neck.

Solution: put on a thick scarf just large enough to pin under the
chin. Cover it with a thinner three-cornered scarf the size of a
triangle bandage or boy-scout neckerchief.

The triangle scarf can also be worn over a balaclava to keep the wind
from whistling through. (Or to keep one's helmet pads from sticking
to the wool when you try to slide the helmet into place.)

Or the triangle scarf can be lined with a thick lambswool scarf too
small to pin under the chin.

The traditional triangle bandage is made by tearing a forty-inch (one
meter) square out of an old sheet, then cutting the square
corner-to-corner to make two bandages. A scarf or neckerchief can be
made by hemming the triangle. To get a forty-inch square out of a
thirty-nine inch fabric, straighten the end, mark each selvage one
inch from the straight end and draw your bias line from there --
you'll get half of a forty-inch square with one corner nipped off;
when hemming, nip and fold the other corner to match. (If this isn't
elaborately discussed in "Rough Sewing: Flat Things", nag me.)

================================================== ==================

Now to the subject line: when it's *really* cold, tie the triangle
scarf forward of the babushka position, so that it projects around
your face about as far as the brim of a hat. This cuts off your
peripheral vision, so grab the brim in the middle of each cheek and
tuck the edge under, folding back to where the scarf lies smooth
against your head. Continue this fold upward until it turns into a
dart that pulls the brim at the top down against your forehead.

Now everything is smooth and out of your way, and a great deal of your
face is protected from the cold breeze. (Put stiff grease such as
Vaseline or stick-type sunscreen over the exposed portions.)

The result looks very like the coif worn under armor in the middle
ages. This too, is under-armor; I suspect that a hat is needed to
keep it from unfolding. Since I can't do without a hat to shade my
eyes, I've never tried wearing a coif on its own.



--
joy beeson at comcast dot net
http://wlweather.net/PAGEJOY/
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.
  #389  
Old April 17th 16, 03:23 AM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Joy Beeson
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,638
Default AG: Doorways


I've noticed another difference between the flatfoot and the road
bike. Back when I belonged to a health club and parked the road bike
in their airlock, I could hold the door open with my back while I
pushed the bike through.

I can't even reach the door -- and it's a panic-bar door -- when I'm
pushing the flatfoot. I must lower the kickstand, park the flatfoot,
open the door, lower the doorstop, go back for the flatfoot, park the
flatfoot, and go back to kick up the doorstop and close the door.

Back when I parked the road bike inside, I always pretended to be
searching for something in my panniers until I was quite alone.
Someone who sees you struggling with a burden invariably wants to
help, and he invariably stands in the doorway while holding the door
open.

Once I left or arrived just as the special bus delivered a woman on
crutches. When I stood behind the door to hold it open for her, she
got the most *astounded* expression on her face.


--
joy beeson at comcast dot net
http://wlweather.net/PAGEJOY/
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.

  #390  
Old April 17th 16, 04:29 PM posted to rec.bicycles.misc
Andrew Chaplin
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 206
Default AG: Doorways

Joy Beeson wrote in
:

I must lower the kickstand[....]


"Kickstand"? Heaven forefend!
--
Andrew Chaplin
SIT MIHI GLADIUS SICUT SANCTO MARTINO
(If you're going to e-mail me, you'll have to get "yourfinger." out.)
 




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