{SYD} Idiot alert

The latest edition of "Partysan" Australia was forwarded onto moi this
morning by a suitably concerned fellow cyclist, anyway the full text is
quoted below for those who can't be ar5ed downloading the entire pdf.

http://www.partysan.com.au/Issue15.pdf

It's a mag for partyhard yoof types. Nothing of any real interest to
me, other than a article that was pointed out on page 64, scribbled by
a semi-literate manchild who goes by the name of "Stu Bell".

He duly suggests knocking cyclists in Sydney off their bikes for
"relaxation". Anyway, I've suggested a few other suggestions below the
text if you don't like Stu-babys load of infantile bollox.

For those of us with slightly longer memories may recall the Lynette
Satalich case in Melbourne.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=33001

And taking a cue from the Don Imus incident in the US, maybe Partysan
also needs a hint in the advertising revenue raising pocket?


****

Final Word By Stu Bell
I knocked a cyclist off his bike this morning. It was actually quite
enjoyable - I’d recommend it to anyone as a means of relaxation, if it
weren’t illegal. Thankfully, the cyclist wasn’t hurt. The wing of my
car managed to absorb most of the impact, so he didn’t hit the ground
that hard. He was fine, or at least he seemed to be moving in the rear
view mirror.

The f*ckers wind me up. Their inability to work out whether they want
to be road users or pedestrians. Their inherent belief that they occupy
a moral position equal to Mother Theresa. The insufferable selfishness
of sidling up to the front row at the traffic lights, knowing full well
they are the slowest vehicles on the road and will cause a tailback the
length of Keith Richards smack habit.

Their stupid skinny hairless legs and need to wear lycra racing
outfits. I mean, what the f*ck is that all about? Do I wear a full
replica football strip (shirt, shorts and socks) when I go for a
kickabout in the park? No. Why? Because five year olds do that. So
someone hurry up and tell me before I blow a ball gasket why a half of
all the fat, bald,middle aged accountants in Paddington think they
don’t look like tools wearing Lance Armstrong’s 2005 Tour de France
special?

“Because lycra is comfortable for riding bikes”, usually comes the
response, seeping forth from teeth encrusted with dead flies. Hmmm, an
interesting point, but have you considered my previous point? Call me
presumptuous (“you’re presumptuous, haha!”. “F*ck off”), but not only
does the world not wish to bear witness to every fat roll/ wiry sinew
of the cyclists’ unflattering physique, but nor is their any need to
mime a peanut in a bag of marbles for half of Elizabeth Street at 8am
on a Monday morning. Secondly, is there any f*cking need? Take public
transport. That’s what it’s there for.

“It’s better for the environment”, they holler back, before changing
quickly into suits for a days work at the very same capitalist
conglomerates responsible for plundering the world in pursuit of the
holy grail of ‘shareholder value”. Instead, I’d like to see each and
every cyclist in Sydney impaled anally on their saddle-less bikes and
wired to a battery.

Every time they choose to make a dash across a red light, plant their
filth encrusted fingers on someone’s car or shake their heads from the
high moral ground at the fact that they may not have been seen suddenly
appearing from someone’s blind spot, they get a shock up their chocolate
date that will make a seat on a bus look a whole lot more inviting (post
recovery).

As well as being more fun than a bum full of smarties, the bonus to
this plan is we don’t have to involve the police, so the boys in blue
can get on with the serious business of concentrating on selling
ecstasy in the suburbs and killing aborginals in the countryside. The
other alternative is the punishment I have planned for Kylie Minogue,
but that’s another article.


*****


Australian Press Council: Guidelines on complaints procedure
http://www.presscouncil.org.au/pcsit...s/process.html

The Australian Press Council deals primarily with complaints about the
mainstream print media. The Council is concerned with news reports,
articles, editorials, letters and images (including cartoons) in
newspapers and magazines and complaints arising out of their
publication.

Partysan: Suite 1/94 Oxford Street, Darlinghurst, Sydney, NSW,
2010.(02) 9380 6847

Publishing Director: Samantha Patrick:

Deputy Editor: Megan Taylor:

Graphic Design: Andrew Chew & Samuel Thorne

Contributors: Stu Bell, Martin Stewart, Charlotte Levio, Ben, John
Devecchis & Liz Elstoe.

Distribution: 444,000 Europe, 20,000 Sydney.


--
cfsmtb

On 2007-04-16, cfsmtb wrote:
****

Final Word By Stu Bell
I knocked a cyclist off his bike this morning. It was actually quite
enjoyable - I’d recommend it to anyone as a means of relaxation, if it
weren’t illegal. Thankfully, the cyclist wasn’t hurt. The wing of my
car managed to absorb most of the impact, so he didn’t hit the ground
that hard. He was fine, or at least he seemed to be moving in the rear
view mirror.

If this incident actually occurred, the implication is that he left the
scene of the accident.

If it didn't happen, he seems to be advocating leaving the scene, on top
of deliberately colliding with cyclists.

--
John
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were
standing on my shoulders.
- attributed to Hal Abelson

John Pitts Wrote:


If this incident actually occurred, the implication is that he left
the
scene of the accident.

If it didn't happen, he seems to be advocating leaving the scene, on
top
of deliberately colliding with cyclists.


But a positive note, the cyclist who Bell admitted to hitting in his
car just might have more evidence to work out who actually did it. So
if you know if someone who was hit recently in Sydney and the driver
failed to stop (which is illegal), well, free feel to pass on Partysans
contact details.

Unfortunately there would be plenty of incidents where cyclists may of
been clipped, but here's a chance someone may get some legal
satisfaction due to Bell being a fkwt and writing about it.


--
cfsmtb

On an even MORE positive note - I could volunteer, on behalf of the
community, to extract a few of his teeth. I'll even do it in full kit,
minus the gloves of course, to demonstrate my dedication. It may even
be good publicity for his publication if they do a special on it, with
all profits donated directly to the spinal trauma unit of a major
Sydney hospital.

PM me if you'd like to set a date, you ******.

gm


--
gravelmuncher

On 2007-04-16, cfsmtb wrote:

Partysan: Suite 1/94 Oxford Street, Darlinghurst, Sydney, NSW,
2010.(02) 9380 6847

Publishing Director: Samantha Patrick:

Deputy Editor: Megan Taylor:

Graphic Design: Andrew Chew & Samuel Thorne

Contributors: Stu Bell, Martin Stewart, Charlotte Levio, Ben, John
Devecchis & Liz Elstoe.

Distribution: 444,000 Europe, 20,000 Sydney.

By the looks of it, it's local content tacked onto a generic
international publication.

This seems to be the parent publication: http://www.partysan.net/.
Looks like it's based in Germany. The Australian edition seems to be the
only one published in an English-speaking country, so there's a good
chance Stu Bell works in the Sydney office.

If he lives in NSW, local laws would apply to any offence he may have
committed: I'm thinking Brendan's Law here. From
http://www.rta.nsw.gov.au/rulesregul...ndans_law.html

Brendan's law

From Monday, 13 February 2006, the Crimes Amendment (Road Accidents)
(Brendan’s Law) Act 2005 increases the maximum penalty for drivers
who fail to stop after a vehicle impact to 10 years imprisonment
where a person has been killed and up to seven years in the case of
grievous bodily harm. Lengthy periods of licence disqualification
also apply.

The new legislation requires a driver to stop and give any
assistance that may be necessary and that is in their power to give
if the driver knows, or ought reasonably to know, that the vehicle
impact has resulted in death or grievous bodily harm to a
person.


I know, he's not going to be charged. It may not have even happened.
He and his employer should be made aware of the consequences of what
he's suggesting, though.


Sorry if I'm going on a bit - got a bee in my bonnet.

--
John
I'm burned around the edges but I'm tender in the middle.
- Adrian Belew

On 2007-04-16, gravelmuncher wrote:

On an even MORE positive note - I could volunteer, on behalf of the
community, to extract a few of his teeth. I'll even do it in full kit,
minus the gloves of course, to demonstrate my dedication.

You're a dentist? I'd suggest that you keep the rubber gloves on -
you never know what you could catch.

Unless you mean full _cycling_ kit. I'd be careful about that, too.
Stu seems to get a bit overexcited at the sight of fit young blokes in
lycra.

--
John
Guinness is a food. I remember reading somewhere that there is sufficient
nutrients to live on in 12 pints of Guinness and a pint of milk every day. But
who could drink a whole pint of milk? -- Tim D on fatcyclist.com

On 2007-04-16, cfsmtb wrote:
For those of us with slightly longer memories may recall the Lynette
Satalich case in Melbourne.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=33001

I see the dance party connection but more relevantly, wasn't there a
case last year of some media type inciting violence against cyclists?

--
John
Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead
tree and eat candy out of your socks? -- Unknown

On 2007-04-16, John Pitts (aka Bruce)
was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
On 2007-04-16, cfsmtb wrote:
For those of us with slightly longer memories may recall the Lynette
Satalich case in Melbourne.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=33001

I see the dance party connection but more relevantly, wasn't there a
case last year of some media type inciting violence against cyclists?

And the media watchdog proved to have about as many teeth as it has
just proven again with regards to John Laws. Seriously, 2GB has been
reprimanded 3 times in 12 months. When are they going to pull the
license to broadcast?

--
TimC
"The thing I love most about deadlines is the wonderful WHOOSHing sound
they make as they go past" - DNA

"John Pitts" wrote in message
...

I see the dance party connection but more relevantly, wasn't there a
case last year of some media type inciting violence against cyclists?

Yeah, that would be Sam Newman's inane ramblings against Beach Road riders.

--
Cheers
Peter

~~~ ~ _@
~~ ~ _- \,
~~ (*)/ (*)

I believe that incitement to commit an offense is an offense itself. If
this is so then Bell should have been charged already.
Any lawyers out there care to comment.


--
ozbiker2