Hottie in the phone store

Lost the phone I carry on my bike to call a cab when I get a flat out
in the lanes umpteen klicks from home.

So I'm browsing the shelves in my local phone shop when some girls
come in. One picks up a phone. "That's a loser's phone," says another.
She must be Beattie's granddaughter, already inculcated with the
belief that your possessions define your worth. And she was wearing a
lycra jacket...

A bit later I'm saying to the store dolly, "Go across the arcade to
the bling merchants and borrow their scales so we can weight these
phones. Tell them it's for a big spender on quality watches."

And the hottie turns to me and says, "You're not one of those weight
weenies, are you?"

Goodness forfend! "I'll have you know I glide, Missy," I said.

She wasn't finished with me yet. "I saw your bike outside. It must
weight a ton. My boyfriend has an eight grand carbon fiber bike. It
weighs like nothing."

Yup, I thought. There's hope for good ole Jay yet. All he needs to do
is buy an eight grand bike and teenybopper hotties will be interested
in him. And so will the sheriff: it looked like an open and shut case
of a statutory to me, though I wasn't so dumb as to ask if she is old
enough to be licensed for cutting edges.

Instead I asked politely, "And what are you going to do to bring
sweetness and light into the world when you grow up?"

There wasn't even a parsec's pause; she really has her life mapped
out. "I'm going to be a divorce lawyer."

Fortunately the scales I sent for arrived and I was saved by the bell.

Andre Jute
It's in the pheromenes -- or are they pheromones? --anyhow, you know
how to spell them and I got them

On Sep 26, 5:16*pm, Andre Jute wrote:
Lost the phone I carry on my bike to call a cab when I get a flat out
in the lanes umpteen klicks from home.

So I'm browsing the shelves in my local phone shop when some girls
come in. One picks up a phone. "That's a loser's phone," says another.
She must be Beattie's granddaughter, already inculcated with the
belief that your possessions define your worth. And she was wearing a
lycra jacket...

A bit later I'm saying to the store dolly, "Go across the arcade to
the bling merchants and borrow their scales so we can weight these
phones. Tell them it's for a big spender on quality watches."

And the hottie turns to me and says, "You're not one of those weight
weenies, are you?"

Goodness forfend! "I'll have you know I glide, Missy," I said.

She wasn't finished with me yet. "I saw your bike outside. It must
weight a ton. My boyfriend has an eight grand carbon fiber bike. It
weighs like nothing."

Yup, I thought. There's hope for good ole Jay yet. All he needs to do
is buy an eight grand bike and teenybopper hotties will be interested
in him. And so will the sheriff: it looked like an open and shut case
of a statutory to me, though I wasn't so dumb as to ask if she is old
enough to be licensed for cutting edges.

Instead I asked politely, "And what are you going to do to bring
sweetness and light into the world when you grow up?"

There wasn't even a parsec's pause; she really has her life mapped
out. "I'm going to be a divorce lawyer."

Fortunately the scales I sent for arrived and I was saved by the bell.

You're in the UK right? I think you need regional dialog: pounds
instead of "grand" and solicitor or barrister instead of "lawyer",
viz., a divorce solicitor. Is "loser" even a term used by teen hotties
in the U.K.? Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"? Your hottie sounds like she's from L.A. -- unless So
Cal teen-talk has taken over the English speaking world. -- Jay
Beattie.

P.S., stay away from those girls or you'll end up with an electronic
ankle bracelet.

Jay Beattie wrote:
[...]
You're {André Jute} in the UK right?[...]

No, Mr. Jute resides in Ireland.

--
Tom Sherman - Holstein-Friesland Bovinia
“the bacteria people tuned in-as to bioengineering at the correct wave
Point” - gene daniels

On Sep 27, 2:01*am, Jay Beattie wrote:
On Sep 26, 5:16*pm, Andre Jute wrote:



Lost the phone I carry on my bike to call a cab when I get a flat out
in the lanes umpteen klicks from home.

So I'm browsing the shelves in my local phone shop when some girls
come in. One picks up a phone. "That's a loser's phone," says another.
She must be Beattie's granddaughter, already inculcated with the
belief that your possessions define your worth. And she was wearing a
lycra jacket...

A bit later I'm saying to the store dolly, "Go across the arcade to
the bling merchants and borrow their scales so we can weight these
phones. Tell them it's for a big spender on quality watches."

And the hottie turns to me and says, "You're not one of those weight
weenies, are you?"

Goodness forfend! "I'll have you know I glide, Missy," I said.

She wasn't finished with me yet. "I saw your bike outside. It must
weight a ton. My boyfriend has an eight grand carbon fiber bike. It
weighs like nothing."

Yup, I thought. There's hope for good ole Jay yet. All he needs to do
is buy an eight grand bike and teenybopper hotties will be interested
in him. And so will the sheriff: it looked like an open and shut case
of a statutory to me, though I wasn't so dumb as to ask if she is old
enough to be licensed for cutting edges.

Instead I asked politely, "And what are you going to do to bring
sweetness and light into the world when you grow up?"

There wasn't even a parsec's pause; she really has her life mapped
out. "I'm going to be a divorce lawyer."

Fortunately the scales I sent for arrived and I was saved by the bell.

You're in the UK right? *

Nope. In parts of where I live, being a Brit is a shooting offense.

I think you need regional dialog: pounds
instead of "grand"

Nope. Never had pounds in living memory. A grand had the same grand
meaning long before Joe Kennedy, the bootlegger trying to be
respectable, put it into gangster talk on the other side of the water.

and solicitor or barrister instead of "lawyer",

Really? I always thought Americans had trouble with the particular and
the general, vide the way they use lawyer and attorney
interchangeably. But, for your information, a lawyer is someone
qualified to practice law somewhere; where in particular he practices
defines whether he is a solicitor who until recently could only
address the lower courts, a barrister who may address the higher
judiciary, or indeed a judge, who is the party addressed by
barristers; barristers are made by from lawyers, possibly after
experience as solicitors, by "eating dinners" at the various Inns of
Court. That little girl meant precisely what she said, and used the
words correctly, as one would expect from the daughter of a lawyer who
practices as a solicitor.

viz., a divorce solicitor. Is "loser" even a term used by teen hotties
in the U.K.? *

a) I don't know. I don't live in the UK.

b) I do know, because I know everything worth knowing about motivating
the general public. Of course they do. It is the power of electronic
media to level everything down to Valleytalk.

Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"?

Not to me, for sure. Trainspotter? Holy moloney, you are out of date,
Jay! A trainspotter was a dull person when I was an undergraduate, and
was since an anorak, and then a nerd, and is now a loser. There may
have been stops along the way while I was not paying attention...

Your hottie sounds like she's from L.A. -- unless So
Cal teen-talk has taken over the English speaking world. -- Jay
Beattie.

P.S., stay away from those girls or you'll end up with an electronic
ankle bracelet.

Not me, pal. I don't think teenagers are hotties. I just took the word
from you; it is too glaring a giveaway of a shallow, lustful mentality
to be in my vocabulary. I divide women, like men, into those who make
me laugh and those who can take the evening off to dye their hair
blonde.

HTH you become as hip as I would never wish to be.

Omnia vincit nexus.

Cyber Nexus (1)
Pontiff
http://members.lycos.co.uk/fiultra/B...20CYCLING.html

(1) The cyclist who before his elevation was known as Andre Jute

André Jute wrote:
[...]
b) I do know, because I know everything worth knowing about motivating
the general public. Of course they do. It is the power of electronic
media to level everything down to Valleytalk.
[...]
I am happy NOT to be a member of the general public.

Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"?

Not to me, for sure. Trainspotter? Holy moloney, you are out of date,
Jay! A trainspotter was a dull person when I was an undergraduate, and
was since an anorak, and then a nerd, and is now a loser. There may
have been stops along the way while I was not paying attention...

I have worn an anorak while cycling.

--
Tom Sherman - Holstein-Friesland Bovinia
“the bacteria people tuned in-as to bioengineering at the correct wave
Point” - gene daniels

On Sep 27, 4:39*am, Tom Sherman
wrote:
André Jute wrote:
[...]
b) I do know, because I know everything worth knowing about motivating
the general public. Of course they do. It is the power of electronic
media to level everything down to Valleytalk.
[...]

I am happy NOT to be a member of the general public.

Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"?

Not to me, for sure. Trainspotter? Holy moloney, you are out of date,
Jay! A trainspotter was a dull person when I was an undergraduate, and
was since an anorak, and then a nerd, and is now a loser. There may
have been stops along the way while I was *not paying attention...

I have worn an anorak while cycling.

I always try to keep the norak on.

--
Tom Sherman - Holstein-Friesland Bovinia
“the bacteria people tuned in-as to bioengineering at the correct wave
Point” - gene daniels

On Sep 27, 1:07*pm, " wrote:
On Sep 27, 4:39*am, Tom Sherman
wrote:



André Jute wrote:
[...]
b) I do know, because I know everything worth knowing about motivating
the general public. Of course they do. It is the power of electronic
media to level everything down to Valleytalk.
[...]

I am happy NOT to be a member of the general public.

Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"?

Not to me, for sure. Trainspotter? Holy moloney, you are out of date,
Jay! A trainspotter was a dull person when I was an undergraduate, and
was since an anorak, and then a nerd, and is now a loser. There may
have been stops along the way while I was *not paying attention...

I have worn an anorak while cycling.

I always try to keep the norak on.

A Goretex norak of the kind you can see several of by looking out of
the window, or the one-off custom leather bomber jacket you had cut
last year by the local leather craftsman?

Enquiring minds want to know.

Andre Jute
I'd die rather than be thought a fop

On Sep 27, 11:39*am, Tom Sherman
wrote:
André Jute wrote:
[...]
b) I do know, because I know everything worth knowing about motivating
the general public. Of course they do. It is the power of electronic
media to level everything down to Valleytalk.
[...]

I am happy NOT to be a member of the general public.

Yeah, we know, Tom, you're a fiery revolutionary. Pity about being
born in the States; very difficult to make a revolution in a place so
overwhelmingly middleclass, where the underclasses, such as they are,
want nothing so much as to join the middleclass. Sincere condolences.

Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"?

Not to me, for sure. Trainspotter? Holy moloney, you are out of date,
Jay! A trainspotter was a dull person when I was an undergraduate, and
was since an anorak, and then a nerd, and is now a loser. There may
have been stops along the way while I was *not paying attention...

I have worn an anorak while cycling.

You're allowed. You're a nerd. You have a diploma to prove it.

Andre Jute
Old Revolutionary = Responsible Citizen

André Jute wrote:
On Sep 27, 11:39 am, Tom Sherman
wrote:
André Jute wrote:
[...]
b) I do know, because I know everything worth knowing about motivating
the general public. Of course they do. It is the power of electronic
media to level everything down to Valleytalk.
[...]
I am happy NOT to be a member of the general public.

Yeah, we know, Tom, you're a fiery revolutionary. Pity about being
born in the States; very difficult to make a revolution in a place so
overwhelmingly middleclass, where the underclasses, such as they are,
want nothing so much as to join the middleclass. Sincere condolences.

Actually, I was referring mostly to advertising and popular
entertainment. I generally try to avoid heavily advertised products
whenever possible, and anything that is "trendy", e.g.
http://www.swobo.com/bikes/collection/.

Wouldn't they say something like "******" or
"trainspotter"?
Not to me, for sure. Trainspotter? Holy moloney, you are out of date,
Jay! A trainspotter was a dull person when I was an undergraduate, and
was since an anorak, and then a nerd, and is now a loser. There may
have been stops along the way while I was not paying attention...
I have worn an anorak while cycling.

You're allowed. You're a nerd. You have a diploma to prove it.

Please allow me to modify my statement to "I have worn an anorak while
recumbent cycling."

--
Tom Sherman - Holstein-Friesland Bovinia
“the bacteria people tuned in-as to bioengineering at the correct wave
Point” - gene daniels

In article
,
Andre Jute wrote:


[...]

There wasn't even a parsec's pause;

???

[...]

--
Michael Press