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Cyclists Xmas Pressies



 
 
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  #1  
Old December 24th 12, 05:07 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7,703
Default Cyclists Xmas Pressies

Just to be helpful, I thought I'd post a list of useful pressies for any
cycling chums;

Deodorant - for putting on after you get to work sweating like a pig.

"Dog **** scraper" - for cleaning the tyres before taking bike in to
bed-room.

"A Personality" (NB This is not a book)

Large bag of walnuts - known to increase sperm count.

Tube of Germoloids - for treating the Chalfonts.

Viagra - to help with their erectile problems.

Inflatable sex doll - cyclists are unlikely to succeed with real women.

Copy of the book "Logic for Dummies".

Book on social skills.

Copy of The Highway Code.

Ishihara Color Test - to ensure they can actually see red lights.

Have I missed anything?


--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton, of Lancaster
University, wrote in an interim assessment of the Understanding Walking
and Cycling study. "For them, cycling is a bit embarrassing, they fail
to see its purpose, and have no interest in integrating it into their
lives, certainly on a regular basis."
Ads
  #2  
Old December 24th 12, 06:19 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
John Benn
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 865
Default Cyclists Xmas Pressies

"Dave - Cyclists VOR" wrote in message
...

Just to be helpful, I thought I'd post a list of useful pressies for any
cycling chums;

Deodorant - for putting on after you get to work sweating like a pig.

"Dog **** scraper" - for cleaning the tyres before taking bike in to
bed-room.

"A Personality" (NB This is not a book)

Large bag of walnuts - known to increase sperm count.

Tube of Germoloids - for treating the Chalfonts.

Viagra - to help with their erectile problems.

Inflatable sex doll - cyclists are unlikely to succeed with real women.

Copy of the book "Logic for Dummies".

Book on social skills.

Copy of The Highway Code.

Ishihara Color Test - to ensure they can actually see red lights.

Have I missed anything?
=================================

Home brew kits and lots of paracetamol for the next day.

  #3  
Old December 24th 12, 07:31 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7,703
Default Cyclists Xmas Pressies

On 24/12/2012 17:44, Luke Moore wrote:
John Benn wrote:

"Dave - Cyclists VOR" wrote in message
...

Just to be helpful, I thought I'd post a list of useful pressies for any
cycling chums;

Deodorant - for putting on after you get to work sweating like a pig.

"Dog **** scraper" - for cleaning the tyres before taking bike in to
bed-room.

"A Personality" (NB This is not a book)

Large bag of walnuts - known to increase sperm count.

Tube of Germoloids - for treating the Chalfonts.

Viagra - to help with their erectile problems.

Inflatable sex doll - cyclists are unlikely to succeed with real women.

Copy of the book "Logic for Dummies".

Book on social skills.

Copy of The Highway Code.

Ishihara Color Test - to ensure they can actually see red lights.

Have I missed anything?
=================================

Home brew kits and lots of paracetamol for the next day.


Plus, appropriate t-shirt:

http://www.zazzle.co.uk/bike_shirt_l...54645499393000

This one is more appropriate for cyclists;
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/nerd_shirt-235119770796043104

--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton, of Lancaster
University, wrote in an interim assessment of the Understanding Walking
and Cycling study. "For them, cycling is a bit embarrassing, they fail
to see its purpose, and have no interest in integrating it into their
lives, certainly on a regular basis."
  #4  
Old December 25th 12, 10:25 AM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Peter Keller[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 8,736
Default Cyclists Xmas Pressies

On Mon, 24 Dec 2012 18:31:01 +0000, Dave - Cyclists VOR wrote:

On 24/12/2012 17:44, Luke Moore wrote:
John Benn wrote:

"Dave - Cyclists VOR" wrote in message
...

Just to be helpful, I thought I'd post a list of useful pressies for
any cycling chums;

Deodorant - for putting on after you get to work sweating like a pig.

"Dog **** scraper" - for cleaning the tyres before taking bike in to
bed-room.

"A Personality" (NB This is not a book)

Large bag of walnuts - known to increase sperm count.

Tube of Germoloids - for treating the Chalfonts.

Viagra - to help with their erectile problems.

Inflatable sex doll - cyclists are unlikely to succeed with real
women.

Copy of the book "Logic for Dummies".

Book on social skills.

Copy of The Highway Code.

Ishihara Color Test - to ensure they can actually see red lights.

Have I missed anything?
=================================

Home brew kits and lots of paracetamol for the next day.


Plus, appropriate t-shirt:

http://www.zazzle.co.uk/

bike_shirt_life_is_simple_bike_beer_bed-235654645499393000

This one is more appropriate for cyclists;
http://www.zazzle.co.uk/nerd_shirt-235119770796043104


That does not stop him using a bicycle, a very enjoyable and viable means
of transport for many things.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  #5  
Old December 26th 12, 12:56 PM posted to uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 7,703
Default Cyclists Xmas Pressies - oh I forgot...

On 24/12/2012 16:07, Dave - Cyclists VOR wrote:
Just to be helpful, I thought I'd post a list of useful pressies for any
cycling chums;


The two most useful pressies for cyclists;
New bottoms for barrels.

Straws to clutch at.






--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton, of Lancaster
University, wrote in an interim assessment of the Understanding Walking
and Cycling study. "For them, cycling is a bit embarrassing, they fail
to see its purpose, and have no interest in integrating it into their
lives, certainly on a regular basis."
 




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