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Dick Pound Witnesses Huge Flash Of Light!!!!!
Dick Pound Witnesses Huge Flash Of Light
Colorado City, Arizona resident Dick Pound reported seeing a bright flash of light early this morning as he turned his head away from frying up some lean and hearty strips of Farmer John bacon in a frying pan on the stove to glance over at the TV set on the floor in the living room, which was tuned to OLN. "There was this bright flash of light," said Pound, "and sparks an' **** was flyin' everywhere." Though other area residents failed to report similar sightings, many claimed they had most likely just gotten up to take a leak or were watching OLN, or something, instead, at approximately the time Pound reported seeing the bright flash. Colorado City police called in to investigate have turned the matter over to WADA who have theorized that the bright flash of light may have come from an actual news story or something on OLN about a bright flash of light or about something that had a bright flash of light as part of the story. Pound was later hospitalized for feeling all guilty an' **** over looking away from the TV screen for 15 seconds to turn his bacon, and then having the bright flash be, like, totally gone when he looked back. "If I hadn't had trouble turnin' 2 of them damn strips of Farmer John bacon," Pound moaned as paramedics wheeled him away on a gurney, "none of this might never have happened." Dick Quarter Pound Jr., owner of OLN, and Farmer John, owner of Farmer John's Food-Made-Outta-Rat-Turds Company, were both, suspiciously simultaneously, unavailable for comment. |
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