Due to sissydom, Poochums can't MTB now

Due to Ride-A-Lot being a sissy, fanatically a master of sissydom, he
can't ride today, because the trails he's able to ride are all safe,
because they're all dirt.

Trails like Apex (gonna be packed after work today), or Dakota Ridge,
or Red Rocks, are all most likely packed this minute, as well as after
work today.

Its too bad Poochums didn't hire me for training, he'd be able to MTB
today, and enjoy riding Apex. But due to his sissydom, he'll have to
wait til next week, most likely, it's going to snow before then, so he
won't get a ride in.

Dumb goober...

Oookums, the offer still stands Sprinksy...

You are WAAAY over your head Mark.