Pavement Police

I was outside a school today teaching young riders the folly of pavement
riding, when, yes, wait for it, two cycling bobbies came along - on the
pavement.

They pulled up showing genuine interest in the cycle-training, and
offered to help at any future sessions.

Some banter ensued when I politely pointed out that perhaps they should
have been riding on the road.
"Ah, we have dispensation so we can chase criminals". "that's Our Job"
they proudly told the youngsters.

We all looked around and I asked my trainees if they could see any
'criminals'. There were none so I suggested that the two policemen
seemed have lost their quarry, much to the amiusement of the chldren.
This caused them to change tack with....
"Ah, but it is best to ride on the pavement when there is so much
dangerous traffic".

So I asked my trainees if they could see any other traffic.
We looked up and down the near deserted road.
"Yes, there is a parked car over there" said one, - and that was it.
Nothing else, zilch, not even a little old vicar with a shopping basket.

There followed a sheepish, "We must be on our way; lots of baddies to
catch" from PC Senior Bobby and I wished them a pleasant and safe ride.

As they set off we stood and watched with jaws hanging, as one went
along the road, while the other bunny-hopped onto the .....pavement.

Shall I accept their offer to help with training children?

Hmmm.

John B

On Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:18:47 +0100
John B wrote:

[chop]

Priceless! This story deserves preserving somewhere a little
less transient than Usenet. Fine blog-fodder for instance,
if you're that way inclined.

--
not me guv

John B wrote:
I was outside a school today teaching young riders the folly of pavement
riding, when, yes, wait for it, two cycling bobbies came along - on the
pavement.

They pulled up showing genuine interest in the cycle-training, and
offered to help at any future sessions.

Some banter ensued when I politely pointed out that perhaps they should
have been riding on the road.
"Ah, we have dispensation so we can chase criminals". "that's Our Job"
they proudly told the youngsters.

We all looked around and I asked my trainees if they could see any
'criminals'. There were none so I suggested that the two policemen
seemed have lost their quarry, much to the amiusement of the chldren.
This caused them to change tack with....
"Ah, but it is best to ride on the pavement when there is so much
dangerous traffic".

So I asked my trainees if they could see any other traffic.
We looked up and down the near deserted road.
"Yes, there is a parked car over there" said one, - and that was it.
Nothing else, zilch, not even a little old vicar with a shopping basket.

There followed a sheepish, "We must be on our way; lots of baddies to
catch" from PC Senior Bobby and I wished them a pleasant and safe ride.

As they set off we stood and watched with jaws hanging, as one went
along the road, while the other bunny-hopped onto the .....pavement.

Shall I accept their offer to help with training children?

Hmmm.

John B
I think a letter to the Chief Constable might be in order

"John B" wrote in message
...
I was outside a school today teaching young riders the folly of pavement
riding, when, yes, wait for it, two cycling bobbies came along - on the
pavement.

They pulled up showing genuine interest in the cycle-training, and
offered to help at any future sessions.

Some banter ensued when I politely pointed out that perhaps they should
have been riding on the road.
"Ah, we have dispensation so we can chase criminals". "that's Our Job"
they proudly told the youngsters.

We all looked around and I asked my trainees if they could see any
'criminals'. There were none so I suggested that the two policemen
seemed have lost their quarry, much to the amiusement of the chldren.
This caused them to change tack with....
"Ah, but it is best to ride on the pavement when there is so much
dangerous traffic".

So I asked my trainees if they could see any other traffic.
We looked up and down the near deserted road.
"Yes, there is a parked car over there" said one, - and that was it.
Nothing else, zilch, not even a little old vicar with a shopping basket.

There followed a sheepish, "We must be on our way; lots of baddies to
catch" from PC Senior Bobby and I wished them a pleasant and safe ride.

As they set off we stood and watched with jaws hanging, as one went
along the road, while the other bunny-hopped onto the .....pavement.

Shall I accept their offer to help with training children?

Hmmm.

John B


Oh -- in Doncaster the 4 cycle mounted policemen ( ermm... policepersons)
ride on the pavement and in pedestrian only areas all the time. (while talking
on their "mobiles") They are distinctly NOT "cyclists" - they are plod on a
bike!

As to them being able to chase the badies I reckon that my distinctly geared
down for camping touring Torn Raven tour-- pedal pushed my 70 year old
egs -- ld outrun the very heavy bikes (with rohloff hubs like mine) and the
chubby over weight, over geared plods -- on a 20 mile chase! I do think the
body armour is a disadvantage for them!

The helicopter might get me though ---unless I submerged in the murky river
Don!

--
Trevor A Panther
In South Yorkshire,
England, United Kingdom.
www.tapan.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk

Nick Kew wrote:
On Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:18:47 +0100
John B wrote:

[chop]

Priceless! This story deserves preserving somewhere a little
less transient than Usenet. Fine blog-fodder for instance,
if you're that way inclined.

Perhaps forward it to the mailing list you and I are both on, John?

Colin McKenzie

--
No-one has ever proved that cycle helmets make cycling any safer at
the population level, and anyway cycling is about as safe per mile as
walking.
Make an informed choice - visit www.cyclehelmets.org.

On Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:18:47 +0100, John B wrote:

I was outside a school today teaching young riders the folly of pavement
riding, when, yes, wait for it, two cycling bobbies came along - on the
pavement.

They pulled up showing genuine interest in the cycle-training, and
offered to help at any future sessions.

Some banter ensued when I politely pointed out that perhaps they should
have been riding on the road.
"Ah, we have dispensation so we can chase criminals". "that's Our Job"
they proudly told the youngsters.

We all looked around and I asked my trainees if they could see any
'criminals'. There were none so I suggested that the two policemen
seemed have lost their quarry, much to the amiusement of the chldren.
This caused them to change tack with....
"Ah, but it is best to ride on the pavement when there is so much
dangerous traffic".

So I asked my trainees if they could see any other traffic.
We looked up and down the near deserted road.
"Yes, there is a parked car over there" said one, - and that was it.
Nothing else, zilch, not even a little old vicar with a shopping basket.

There followed a sheepish, "We must be on our way; lots of baddies to
catch" from PC Senior Bobby and I wished them a pleasant and safe ride.

As they set off we stood and watched with jaws hanging, as one went
along the road, while the other bunny-hopped onto the .....pavement.

Shall I accept their offer to help with training children?

Hmmm.

John B

This should be sent, verbatim except for the "Hmmm.", to the Times.

Nick Kew wrote:

On Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:18:47 +0100
John B wrote:

[chop]

Priceless! This story deserves preserving somewhere a little
less transient than Usenet.

Isn't that what Google does? Posts from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back are
available if you know where to look.
http://groups.google.com/group/uk.re...g/topics?hl=en

I'd say it was ripe for a letter to a newspaper.
--
Phil Cook looking north over the park to the "Westminster Gasworks"

_ wrote on 24/04/2007 23:33 +0100:


This should be sent, verbatim except for the "Hmmm.", to the Times.

An excellent suggestion.

--
Tony

"The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there
is no good evidence either way."
- Bertrand Russell

On Wed, 25 Apr 2007 09:27:00 +0100
Phil Cook wrote:

Nick Kew wrote:

Priceless! This story deserves preserving somewhere a little
less transient than Usenet.

Isn't that what Google does?

Very badly these days. Google's usenet has become quite painful
to search for postings, even those one remembers well.

Posts from waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back are
available if you know where to look.

I imagine even fewer people will discover it there than read the
original on usenet. My point is, that post deserves better.

I'd say it was ripe for a letter to a newspaper.

Worth a shot if the OP has the time to invest.

--
not me guv

I'm able-bodied. Why should I want a car?

On Tue, 24 Apr 2007 20:18:47 +0100 someone who may be John B
wrote this:-

I was outside a school today teaching young riders the folly of pavement
riding, when, yes, wait for it, two cycling bobbies came along - on the
pavement.

Mass media, police and councillors should all get communications
from yourself. Of course the last two will simply try and brush you
off with a smug reply, but that does not mean it is pointless
contacting them.


--
David Hansen, Edinburgh
I will *always* explain revoked encryption keys, unless RIP prevents me
http://www.opsi.gov.uk/acts/acts2000/00023--e.htm#54