Mountain Bikers Don't Even Obey Their Own Rules!

.... and depend on drug use.

Mike


Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 11:43:56 -0700
From: "Josh Moore"
Subject: Fwd: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

Wow! What is the world coming to?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: League Director
Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 11:05 AM
Subject: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

HIGH SCHOOL MOUNTAIN BIKE LEAGUE GETS SUED OVER CAFFEINE BAN

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Contact: Matt Fritzinger (510) 653-2453
www.norcalmtb.org

HIGH SCHOOL MOUNTAIN BIKE LEAGUE GETS SUED OVER CAFFEINE BAN
Only two months after releasing their 2008 rule book, which includes
a ban on caffeine for their young athletes, the NorCal High School
Mountain Bike Racing League is being sued for enforcing the
controversial rule.

Kyle Wright, of Americano High School, received the penalty after the
head coach of the El Cerrito High School team made the startling
discovery. "His bike was leaning against mine, and I needed to move
it. I grabbed Kyle's bike along the top tube, and it burned my hand.
It was a warm day, but his bike was boiling hot!" Coach Jeremiah
Holland reported the abnormally hot bike to the League Director, Matt
Fritzinger.

Fritzinger reported, "Coach Holland called me over to the pit zone on
the radio, showed me the welt on his hand and pointed to the Gary
Fisher Hi-Fi. I was explaining what an awesome bike the Hi-Fi is * I
own one, myself * when I noticed some unusual wiring, and a valve on
the seat tube. Coffee came pouring out onto the ground when I twisted
the lever. It smelled delicious."

What Fritzinger discovered was that Kyle's bike had a fully
integrated coffee-making device. It was powered by a generator in the
hub, stored hot water in the tubes of the frame, and filtered the
coffee in what looked like a rear suspension unit. Fritzinger soon
found a cup and confirmed his suspicion. "I was amazed by the
sophistication of it: the smooth texture and balance, somewhat darker
than traditional Italian espresso blends, and we discovered his
portable pump was converted to a milk steamer."

After a thorough investigation it was discovered Kyle was selling
coffee drinks, including lattes and machiados on the back side of the
course. "He was out there making a mockery of our new rule, so we
doubled the penalty to ten minutes. Kyle was already in last place,
but we needed to make our message loud and clear."

The discovery of Kyle's espresso machine on wheels was quite a jolt
to the director, as the caffeine rule was having a noticeable impact.
"At the season opener we did our first pocket checks. We discovered
only one rider with caffeinated energy gel," said Fritzinger. The
rider seemed genuinely surprised that his "plain flavor" gel had
caffeine. "It was a learning experience for the rider, and the
League," reported Fritzinger. The League issued a warning to the
offending rider. "Our best indicators are wrappers dropped on the
course. We watched the amount of caffeinated products plummet from 20%
to 0% by the second race," Fritzinger asserted.

As the League approaches the fourth race, officials' eyes are peeled
for more than just caffeinated energy gels. Meanwhile, Kyle has hired
Morris Sumy to help with his appeal. "We all know it's fun to mountain
bike race, even when you take last place, but the League has
overstepped its own rules. The NorCal League does not own fun." stated
Sumy.

The Nor Cal High School Mountain Bike League is a non-profit
organization open to students from both public and private schools.
The League exists because of generous donors and sponsors such as Clif
Bar, Inc., CamelBak, Fox Racing Shox, Trek Bicycles, Ritchey Bicycle
Components, Creation Engine, Galaxy Granola, Mike's Bikes, The
Pedaler, Paradigm Cycles, HappyGoFun, REI, Mountain Hardwear, WTB,
Tecnu Extreme, Vanderkitten, Whole Athlete, Maxxis, BTC, Dream Works,
and NCNCA. The League provides coaching and camaraderie to help
students achieve both competitive and non-competitive cross-country
mountain biking goals in a safe and enjoyable manner. Each season
includes a Coaches Training Conference, winter riding camps, the
six-race series, and a variety of summer camps. For more information
visit www.norcalmtb.org or call (510) 653-2453.
--
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to
humans ("pure habitat"). Want to help? (I spent the previous 8
years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

Please don't put a cell phone next to any part of your body that you are fond of!

http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande

On Apr 1, 9:10*pm, Mike Vandeman wrote:
... and depend on drug use.

And depend on transportation that pollutes the atmosphere.

"Mike Vandeman" wrote in message
...
... and depend on drug use.

Mike


Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 11:43:56 -0700
From: "Josh Moore"
Subject: Fwd: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

Wow! What is the world coming to?

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: League Director
Date: Tue, Apr 1, 2008 at 11:05 AM
Subject: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

HIGH SCHOOL MOUNTAIN BIKE LEAGUE GETS SUED OVER CAFFEINE BAN

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Contact: Matt Fritzinger (510) 653-2453
www.norcalmtb.org

HIGH SCHOOL MOUNTAIN BIKE LEAGUE GETS SUED OVER CAFFEINE BAN
Only two months after releasing their 2008 rule book, which includes
a ban on caffeine for their young athletes, the NorCal High School
Mountain Bike Racing League is being sued for enforcing the
controversial rule.

Kyle Wright, of Americano High School, received the penalty after the
head coach of the El Cerrito High School team made the startling
discovery. "His bike was leaning against mine, and I needed to move
it. I grabbed Kyle's bike along the top tube, and it burned my hand.
It was a warm day, but his bike was boiling hot!" Coach Jeremiah
Holland reported the abnormally hot bike to the League Director, Matt
Fritzinger.

Fritzinger reported, "Coach Holland called me over to the pit zone on
the radio, showed me the welt on his hand and pointed to the Gary
Fisher Hi-Fi. I was explaining what an awesome bike the Hi-Fi is * I
own one, myself * when I noticed some unusual wiring, and a valve on
the seat tube. Coffee came pouring out onto the ground when I twisted
the lever. It smelled delicious."

What Fritzinger discovered was that Kyle's bike had a fully
integrated coffee-making device. It was powered by a generator in the
hub, stored hot water in the tubes of the frame, and filtered the
coffee in what looked like a rear suspension unit. Fritzinger soon
found a cup and confirmed his suspicion. "I was amazed by the
sophistication of it: the smooth texture and balance, somewhat darker
than traditional Italian espresso blends, and we discovered his
portable pump was converted to a milk steamer."

After a thorough investigation it was discovered Kyle was selling
coffee drinks, including lattes and machiados on the back side of the
course. "He was out there making a mockery of our new rule, so we
doubled the penalty to ten minutes. Kyle was already in last place,
but we needed to make our message loud and clear."

The discovery of Kyle's espresso machine on wheels was quite a jolt
to the director, as the caffeine rule was having a noticeable impact.
"At the season opener we did our first pocket checks. We discovered
only one rider with caffeinated energy gel," said Fritzinger. The
rider seemed genuinely surprised that his "plain flavor" gel had
caffeine. "It was a learning experience for the rider, and the
League," reported Fritzinger. The League issued a warning to the
offending rider. "Our best indicators are wrappers dropped on the
course. We watched the amount of caffeinated products plummet from 20%
to 0% by the second race," Fritzinger asserted.

As the League approaches the fourth race, officials' eyes are peeled
for more than just caffeinated energy gels. Meanwhile, Kyle has hired
Morris Sumy to help with his appeal. "We all know it's fun to mountain
bike race, even when you take last place, but the League has
overstepped its own rules. The NorCal League does not own fun." stated
Sumy.

The Nor Cal High School Mountain Bike League is a non-profit
organization open to students from both public and private schools.
The League exists because of generous donors and sponsors such as Clif
Bar, Inc., CamelBak, Fox Racing Shox, Trek Bicycles, Ritchey Bicycle
Components, Creation Engine, Galaxy Granola, Mike's Bikes, The
Pedaler, Paradigm Cycles, HappyGoFun, REI, Mountain Hardwear, WTB,
Tecnu Extreme, Vanderkitten, Whole Athlete, Maxxis, BTC, Dream Works,
and NCNCA. The League provides coaching and camaraderie to help
students achieve both competitive and non-competitive cross-country
mountain biking goals in a safe and enjoyable manner. Each season
includes a Coaches Training Conference, winter riding camps, the
six-race series, and a variety of summer camps. For more information
visit www.norcalmtb.org or call (510) 653-2453.
--
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to
humans ("pure habitat"). Want to help? (I spent the previous 8
years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

Please don't put a cell phone next to any part of your body that you are
fond of!


Wow, caffeine !!!!! Call in the DEA !!! Sounds like some idiot with too
much time on their hands and nothing better to do. Sounds like something
someone like you would do, you know, someone with no life.



http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande

Please don't feed the troll!

signed
My supposed hidden alter ego...
www.fixedgearhooligans.com

Mike Vandeman wrote:
... and depend on drug use.

Mike


****Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 11:43:56 -0700****
From: "Josh Moore"
Subject: Fwd: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

Wow! What is the world coming to?


Mike Vandeman posting an April Fools joke! Wow, What 'is' the world
coming to indeed.

It's a good one at least.

Or did Mikey get taken?

Mike

On Tue, 1 Apr 2008 21:33:10 -0700 (PDT), "
wrote:

Please don't feed the troll!

Hypocrite.

signed
My supposed hidden alter ego...
www.fixedgearhooligans.com
--
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to
humans ("pure habitat"). Want to help? (I spent the previous 8
years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

Please don't put a cell phone next to any part of your body that you are fond of!

http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande

On Apr 2, 7:42*am, Mike Romain wrote:
Mike Vandeman wrote:
... and depend on drug use.

Mike

****Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 11:43:56 -0700****
From: "Josh Moore"
Subject: Fwd: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

Wow! What is the world coming to?

Mike Vandeman posting an April Fools joke! *Wow, What 'is' the world
coming to indeed.

It's a good one at least.

Or did Mikey get taken?

MJV is so desperately earnest that one must believe he was completely
taken by this spoof.

E.P.

On Wed, 2 Apr 2008 11:26:36 -0700 (PDT), Ed Pirrero
wrote:

On Apr 2, 7:42*am, Mike Romain wrote:
Mike Vandeman wrote:
... and depend on drug use.

Mike

****Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 11:43:56 -0700****
From: "Josh Moore"
Subject: Fwd: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

Wow! What is the world coming to?

Mike Vandeman posting an April Fools joke! *Wow, What 'is' the world
coming to indeed.

It's a good one at least.

Or did Mikey get taken?

MJV is so desperately earnest that one must believe he was completely
taken by this spoof.

Since I always tell the truth, I expect others to do the same. Is that
a fault? I don't think so.

E.P.
--
I am working on creating wildlife habitat that is off-limits to
humans ("pure habitat"). Want to help? (I spent the previous 8
years fighting auto dependence and road construction.)

Please don't put a cell phone next to any part of your body that you are fond of!

http://home.pacbell.net/mjvande

On Apr 2, 4:34 pm, Mike Vandeman wrote:
On Wed, 2 Apr 2008 11:26:36 -0700 (PDT), Ed Pirrero



wrote:
On Apr 2, 7:42 am, Mike Romain wrote:
Mike Vandeman wrote:
... and depend on drug use.

Mike

****Date: Tue, 1 Apr 2008 11:43:56 -0700****
From: "Josh Moore"
Subject: Fwd: PRESS RELEASE: LEAGUE GETS SUED

Wow! What is the world coming to?

Mike Vandeman posting an April Fools joke! Wow, What 'is' the world
coming to indeed.

It's a good one at least.

Or did Mikey get taken?

MJV is so desperately earnest that one must believe he was completely
taken by this spoof.

Since I always tell the truth...


LOL. *Sure* you do.

E.P.

* Mike Romain :
Wow! What is the world coming to?


Mike Vandeman posting an April Fools joke! Wow, What 'is' the world
coming to indeed.

It's a good one at least.

Or did Mikey get taken?

Mike

If he did hopefully it was by aliens and he'll get nicely probed.

Jason