The Banks of the Ohio

Jay Beattie wrote:
On Jan 11, 4:48 pm, "Edward Dolan" wrote:
I propose that Tom Sherman and I have a duel with pistols on the banks of
the Ohio. Yea, honor must be served. Since Jim McNamara has deserted these
newsgroups, I ask that someone else of conservative bent be my second. Tom
Sherman will have no trouble getting anyone to be his second since these
cycling newsgroups are replete with hundreds of liberal *******s.

I propose that the duel not be more than about 5 paces since I can't see
anything worth a damn beyond that. I now employ over 3 different eye glasses
in order to see anything. I have a pair of dueling pistols from the years of
the Civil War. All that matters to me is that honor be served.

It matters not whether I live or die, only that I get at least one shot at a
liberal-socialist-communist ******* before I depart this vale of tears.

Only the banks of the Ohio will do for this duel as it is quintessentially
of American folklore. To die in a duel anywhere else would be a sacrilege
and an abomination.

See e.g. http://www.secondhandsongs.com/performance/106609 I like
the Tony Rice version. http://www.rounder.com/index.php?id=...alog _id=6191
(can't go wrong with Jerry Douglas and David Grisman)

"Banks of the Ohio" is one of the best "I stabbed my girlfriend and
pushed her in to the Ohio River and watched her drown because she
would not marry me" songs I know. http://toneway.com/songs/banks-of-the-ohio
(some of the versions leave out the cutting part). I'm sure the
lyrics could be modified to suit a duel.-- Jay Beattie.


Hand grenades at ten paces maybe?

--
Andrew Muzi
www.yellowjersey.org/
Open every day since 1 April, 1971

I propose that Tom Sherman and I have a duel with pistols
on the banks of the Ohio.
Hand grenades at ten paces maybe?

=v= This would probably work better. I am presently on the
banks of the Ohio, right near its origin, in fact, and the
ice is 3 inches thick. We wouldn't want the bodies to just
lie there until the thaw.

=v= Please invite Comandante Banana, as well.
_Jym_

I am presently on the banks of the Ohio, right near its
origin, in fact, and the ice is 3 inches thick. We wouldn't
want the bodies to just lie there until the thaw.

=v= Well, the ice is gone, but what with the rain and snowmelt
the floodwaters are rising around Pittsburgh. Kindly have your
duel downriver, because we wouldn't want your bodies washing up
on the North Shore bike trail. We're going to have to dodge
enough flotsam and jetsam as it is.

Please invite Comandante Banana, as well.

=v= +1 on that.
_Jym_

"Jym Dyer" wrote in message
...
I am presently on the banks of the Ohio, right near its
origin, in fact, and the ice is 3 inches thick. We wouldn't
want the bodies to just lie there until the thaw.

=v= Well, the ice is gone, but what with the rain and snowmelt
the floodwaters are rising around Pittsburgh. Kindly have your
duel downriver, because we wouldn't want your bodies washing up
on the North Shore bike trail. We're going to have to dodge
enough flotsam and jetsam as it is.

Please invite Comandante Banana, as well.

All that matters is that honor be observed. To die without honor is a shame
and a disgrace.

Regards,

Ed Dolan the Great - Minnesota
aka
Saint Edward the Great - Order of the Perpetual Sorrows - Minnesota

=v= Well, the ice is gone, but what with the rain and
snowmelt the floodwaters are rising around Pittsburgh.
Kindly have your duel downriver, because we wouldn't want
your bodies washing up on the North Shore bike trail.
All that matters is that honor be observed. To die without
honor is a shame and a disgrace.

=v= Well, there you go. There's no honor in littering the
bike trails with our corpses -- unless, of course, we die
in the saddle.
_Jym_