If I don't ride, I have nothing to say.
If I do ride, I don't have time to write.
My Sheriff Goshert bottle has been acting up lately -- the valve keeps
closing itself, even when it's up-side down as I try to squirt a
little water into a recently-emptied tea bottle.
So a few days ago I stopped in the Trailhouse to look at bottles. They
didn't have very many, and they all had the same lid. It has some
sort of swirly double-ended lever at the base of the valve; in
retrospect the swirl reminds me of bas-relief handle of the emergency
feed on some paper-towel dispensers. The label said it was a lock to
prevent -- I've forgotten what it prevents, but I do remember thinking
that it was something that doesn't happen. No setting of the lever
appeared to open or close the valve, and pushing and pulling on the
tube above the lever, which looked very like the tooth-valve on a
bottle I purchased a year or five ago, had no effect.
In addition there was a deep dirt-trapping hole in the valve-homologue
which appeared to lead straight to the contents. This is the hole
that is filled with a round plug when an old-style bottle is closed.
This led me to examine my bottles after leaving the store. The
Sheriff Goshert bottle is flat on top when closed; if I got dirt on
it, I could wipe it off with my thumb. The plunger of the bottle I
bought a year or five ago has a shallow dimple on top, with a peak in
the middle. I could still clean it with my thumb, but only if I'm
Today I went for an exercise ride. I was disappointed when I couldn't
make it more than eighteen miles. (In the planning; I have yet to
make Google measure the way I actually went. I kind of miss the
knotted string I used to use; it was a lot quicker than feeding in all
But I think I get credit for twice that. At one point, while riding
east on a straight road through fields, I had to use my lowest gear to
ride down a hill. There were several mild hills that I walked.
It was somewhat better when I turned south. And when I reached the
westernmost point and started back, the wind dropped. I thought it
was just because I was riding with it, but I didn't see the slightest
motion in fine twigs and drooping dead leaves on the trees, and I did
encounter a pretty good gust just before I turned west again after
riding north for a mile or so.
The northernmost point of the route was Goodwill on Anchorage Point
Road. (Hey, I forgot to check the cutlery for brownie servers.) When
touring the plastics aisle, I saw two red bike bottles with black lids
advertising "Growing Kids Learning Centers", which I have never heard
of. [DuckDuckGo] They are in Elkhart. Why would somebody in Elkhart
shop in Warsaw?
Having taken my bottles in with me in the hope of making them less
cold, I was able to compare the Growing Kids bottles with the Sheriff
Goshert bottle. Exactly the same height to the shoulder, exactly the
same diameter. They looked smaller because they are of cheaper
construction. I decided that if they were still there after I'd
looked at the clothing, I'd buy them, but forgot about it until I was
at Panda Express. After lunch, I rode and walked and rode back to
Goodwill (the Meijer driveway is one-way for a very good reason, and
its sidewalk ends in a parking lot), and went straight to the plastics
Coming in from this direction I noticed a greeny-blue bottle obviously
of the same manufacture. Despite being quite opaque, it is stenciled
"Clear Object". Much to my surprise, searching on that common phrase
proved fruitful. It's a company that appears to sell bafflegab
vaguely connected to computers. I did not click on the link.
My spouse, who never had a three-doctor incident and doesn't have
cataracts or epiretinal membrane, was able to make out "garyline" in
teeny-tiny embossed letters on the bottom. Garyline sells a lot of
interesting (and very cheap, minimum order fifty) stuff. I didn't
find any translucent bike bottles, but they jumble all their bottles
onto one page, so I can't say they don't sell them. I did find the
model Growing Kids and Clear Object bought.
Anyhow, I'm bottled for the foreseeable future. I'll use the bottle
brush vigorously before using the bottles. I usually just shake water
in a bottle before filling it, but heaven knows where these bottles
Time for bed already? [checks clock] Yup.
joy beeson at comcast dot net
The above message is a Usenet post.
I don't recall having given anyone permission to use it on a Web site.
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