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#11
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Bicycling and Divorce
"John B." wrote in message
... On Sun, 9 Dec 2012 21:40:17 -0600, "Edward Dolan" wrote: "John B." wrote in message .. . [...] I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some sort of adversary sort of thing. I don’t know of anyone who gets married for an adversarial relationship. But the fact is that men and women are very different. There are damn few things that men and women can do together and enjoy equally. Once this is recognized, there is nothing wrong or untoward in letting one's mate do her or his thing without interference. The family that stays together overly much is destined for a shipwreck. When it comes to cycling I recommend that men cycle with other men and that women cycle with other women. That is the only way it is ever equally enjoyable for both sexes. Tandem cycling is an abomination and was most likely an invention of the Devil! I am imparting this knowledge to you from 75 years of being not only a bachelor, but a hermit besides. Only us hermits know anything worth knowing. Everyone else has been corrupted by too much human contact. Experience is an ugly thing and never worth the bother. Ed Dolan the Great Well your 75 years of no experience is hardly evidence of a great knowledge of the state. Experience is vastly overrated. Your comment that "The family that stays together overly much is destined for a shipwreck" may be true in Modern America but it certainly wasn't the original concept. Originally marriage served the purpose of (hopefully) ensured that any kids that the husband had to support through their formative years were his and secondly it provided a unit, call it partnership if you want, that was far more capable of coping with life than a single person. Try going out and plowing 40 acres and than coming home and doing the washing, ironing and cook supper all by your self. You have an old fashion idea of marriage. What women want are children. It is a boon if they can also find some male boob to support them, but it is not necessary anymore. Various units of government will support her and her brood. Of course, under such conditions, the kids all grow up to be criminals and society goes straight to perdition. Hells Bells, marriage is no longer between one man and one woman in several states. Marriage can now be anything you want it to be. But the fact is that traditional marriage is going the way of the Dodo Bird. Marriage is a balancing act. Too much togetherness is not good nor is too much separation. Husbands and wives can do things separately (such as cycling) as long as you meet up at the end of the day or the week. But I still think separate vacations of more than a week are somewhat risky. Thus spake Zarathustra! Ed Dolan the Great |
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#12
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Bicycling and Divorce
On Wed, 12 Dec 2012 12:29:08 -0600, "Edward Dolan"
wrote: "John B." wrote in message .. . On Sun, 9 Dec 2012 21:40:17 -0600, "Edward Dolan" wrote: "John B." wrote in message . .. [...] I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some sort of adversary sort of thing. I dont know of anyone who gets married for an adversarial relationship. But the fact is that men and women are very different. There are damn few things that men and women can do together and enjoy equally. Once this is recognized, there is nothing wrong or untoward in letting one's mate do her or his thing without interference. The family that stays together overly much is destined for a shipwreck. When it comes to cycling I recommend that men cycle with other men and that women cycle with other women. That is the only way it is ever equally enjoyable for both sexes. Tandem cycling is an abomination and was most likely an invention of the Devil! I am imparting this knowledge to you from 75 years of being not only a bachelor, but a hermit besides. Only us hermits know anything worth knowing. Everyone else has been corrupted by too much human contact. Experience is an ugly thing and never worth the bother. Ed Dolan the Great Well your 75 years of no experience is hardly evidence of a great knowledge of the state. Experience is vastly overrated. Thus speaks the inexperienced. Your comment that "The family that stays together overly much is destined for a shipwreck" may be true in Modern America but it certainly wasn't the original concept. Originally marriage served the purpose of (hopefully) ensured that any kids that the husband had to support through their formative years were his and secondly it provided a unit, call it partnership if you want, that was far more capable of coping with life than a single person. Try going out and plowing 40 acres and than coming home and doing the washing, ironing and cook supper all by your self. You have an old fashion idea of marriage. What women want are children. It is a boon if they can also find some male boob to support them, but it is not necessary anymore. Various units of government will support her and her brood. Of course, under such conditions, the kids all grow up to be criminals and society goes straight to perdition. Hells Bells, marriage is no longer between one man and one woman in several states. Marriage can now be anything you want it to be. But the fact is that traditional marriage is going the way of the Dodo Bird. Marriage is a balancing act. Too much togetherness is not good nor is too much separation. Husbands and wives can do things separately (such as cycling) as long as you meet up at the end of the day or the week. But I still think separate vacations of more than a week are somewhat risky. This seems to be some sort of modern idea. At least my parent's generation viewed divorce as a rather despicable act. As for separate vacations, I doubt that they would have contemplated such an exercise - they liked each other. But you are correct, Modern America appears to contemplate marriage as a temporary arrangement at best. I keep reading about people with "partners" although that may be a politically correct expression to avoid upsetting the "X" sex. (Australian passports are now issued showing M (male), F (female) or X (indeterminate/unspecified/intersex)) -- Cheers, John B. |
#13
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Bicycling and Divorce
"John B." wrote in message
... On Wed, 12 Dec 2012 12:29:08 -0600, "Edward Dolan" wrote: [...] Experience is vastly overrated. Thus speaks the inexperienced. It is best to contemplate the eternal verities from a theoretical aspect only. All experience is a form of pollution. Thus spake Zarathustra! Marriage is a balancing act. Too much togetherness is not good nor is too much separation. Husbands and wives can do things separately (such as cycling) as long as you meet up at the end of the day or the week. But I still think separate vacations of more than a week are somewhat risky. This seems to be some sort of modern idea. At least my parent's generation viewed divorce as a rather despicable act. As for separate vacations, I doubt that they would have contemplated such an exercise - they liked each other. A marriage only needs to last about 15 years, just long enough to get your children launched ... although today it might take more like 30 years. Husbands and wives can still like one another and prefer to be apart for varying periods of time for one reason or another. But you are correct, Modern America appears to contemplate marriage as a temporary arrangement at best. I keep reading about people with "partners" although that may be a politically correct expression to avoid upsetting the "X" sex. (Australian passports are now issued showing M (male), F (female) or X (indeterminate/unspecified/intersex)) I will admit that nature does create some freaks of indeterminate sex but such mistakes are few and far between. After all, nature is only intent on perpetuating the species and this is only acomplished via males impregnating females. The “X” sex always only constitutes about .00000000001% of a population and is best ignored for the nonentity that it is. Ed Dolan the Great |
#14
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Bicycling and Divorce
= Brian D. Potter
For instance, we have a demonstration ride here in my home town--not Critical Mass stuff, but with a "We ARE Traffic" mentality. =v= Imagine that, a "mentality" that happens to be traffic law in all 50 states. :^) =v= Critical Mass, in same way or another, was behind my meeting nearly every girlfriend for the last 20 years. That doesn't mean every relationship with a biker has worked, nor that the bike was responsible for the ones that didn't. Do divorcees turn to cycling to express grief, anger, tension, disappointment? = It works MUCH better than therapy. =v= Emotions in the light of divorce are situational, rather than an inherent imbalance in chemistry to be treated with e.g. antidepressants, so cycling can address the emotional states just by producing endorphins. =v= Therapy that works to identify underlying motivations and unconscious behavior patterns that interfere with relationships could be a greater improvement in the long run, though it's not easy to find a competent relationship therapist. Currently the track record of most therapies is no better than no therapy at all (but indentifying these things may still be what you want). _Jym_ |
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Bicycling and Divorce
= John B.
I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some sort of adversary sort of thing. =v= Yeah, the whole adversary thing is tiresome and inane, just a bunch of sad jokes that have been repeated ad nauseum. Maybe they're understandable as a coping mechanism, but why inflict unfunny humor on the rest of us? =v= Separate vacations isn't necessarily a bad thing and doesn't mean a relationship is doomed. People can love each other very much and want to spend their lives together, but still pursue separate interests from time to time. _Jym_ |
#16
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Bicycling and Divorce
On Sun, 20 Jan 2013 16:27:08 -0800, Jym Dyer wrote:
= John B. I can't comment on people who take several weeks to be away from their wives as I really can't imagine it. Perhaps I'm old fashioned by my marriages have been more a matter of forming a partnership than some sort of adversary sort of thing. =v= Yeah, the whole adversary thing is tiresome and inane, just a bunch of sad jokes that have been repeated ad nauseum. Maybe they're understandable as a coping mechanism, but why inflict unfunny humor on the rest of us? =v= Separate vacations isn't necessarily a bad thing and doesn't mean a relationship is doomed. People can love each other very much and want to spend their lives together, but still pursue separate interests from time to time. _Jym_ I'm sure that social mores have a lot to do with the stability of marriages. In, say my grandparents day, divorce was simply "not the thing to do" in the social and religious atmosphere that prevailed at the time in rural New England. In addition to the social stigmata of divorce was the fact that marriages were usually contracted between members of the local society and thus between individuals who had likely known each other for most of their life. -- Cheers, John B. |
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