Humor (?): Landis's next claim

Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

Some possibilities:

1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims
responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel
better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid
industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of
dignity.

2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack
Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on
his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused
pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone)
patch instead.

3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the
different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal
in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid.

Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an
entertaining theory.

"Bob Dole" wrote in message
oups.com...
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

Some possibilities:

3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the
different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal
in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid.

It was the Lebanon bologna--good stuff.

Bob Dole wrote:
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

Some possibilities:

1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims
responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel
better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid
industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of
dignity.

2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack
Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on
his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused
pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone)
patch instead.

3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the
different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal
in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid.

Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an
entertaining theory.

A couple of cases like that were reported in the book "Breaking the
Chain":

1. There was a urine switch, but the urine of a van driver was used
and the driver had recently used speed.

2. A cyclist took some stuff from a sognier on another team, a guy
who had a reputation for dirty tricks, giving opposing cyclist dope
that would show up on a test.

"Bob Dole" a écrit dans le message de news:
...
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

Some possibilities:

1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims
responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel
better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid
industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of
dignity.

2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack
Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on
his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused
pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone)
patch instead.

3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the
different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal
in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid.

Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an
entertaining theory.


Thinking better, it was not Jack Daniels, but Jacques Danielle, a French
white wine....

Well thank God he was not busted for smoking hash...

Bob Dole Wrote:
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

Some possibilities:

1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique
claims
responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel
better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid
industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of
dignity.

2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack
Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on
his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused
pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone)
patch instead.

3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the
different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of
coal
in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid.

Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an
entertaining theory.


This is so funny because you don't know how true one of your statements
is. In the 2004 off season Froid was having a difficult loosing weight
so he was placing Nicorette patches on his arms to speed his
metabolism.


--
BJC

2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack
Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on
his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused
pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone)
patch instead.

This is so funny because you don't know how true one of your statements
is. In the 2004 off season Froid was having a difficult loosing weight
so he was placing Nicorette patches on his arms to speed his
metabolism.

No stranger to doping then, eh !

On 1 Aug 2006 02:48:49 -0700, "Bob Dole" wrote:

Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

Some possibilities:

1. Domestique takes it for the team: An aging Phonak domestique claims
responsibility ("I put some in his beer hoping to make him feel
better"). The domestique later has a long career in the hearing aid
industry. Floyd loses TdF crown, but he and Grand Tours keep shred of
dignity.

2. The devil (weed) made me do it: After several beers and much Jack
Daniels, Floyd wanted a cigarette. But, concerned about the effect on
his lungs, he decided to use a nicotine patch instead. Confused
pharmacist looking for "t" (tabac) patch gave him "T" (Testosterone)
patch instead.

3. Eat dirt: Floyd blames results of carbon isotope test on the
different carbon isotopes common in Lancaster County, PA. (lots of coal
in Pennsylvania) and says he ate a lot of dirt as a kid.

Feel free to add. No need to let any facts stand in the way of an
entertaining theory.

Took it up the ass : having sunk very low he roams around
Saint-Jean-de-Maurienne and ends up in a gay bar. To ease the
forthcoming pain decides to lube up and in the absence of KJ accepts
the suppositories handed by a Spanish friend. Turns out these were
Rastandol suppositories hence the T levels. Landis says he feels
better now that he's come out of the closet. Ullrich comments that
this is a disgrace and that he's totally clean in that respect and
asks to be reinstated. Michaud adds "I knew it" !

"Dumbass" wrote in message
oups.com...

A couple of cases like that were reported in the book "Breaking the
Chain":

1. There was a urine switch, but the urine of a van driver was used
and the driver had recently used speed.

Not sure if that was an urban legend or really happened, but a male athlete
was once tested and found to be pregnant...

Bob Dole wrote:
Assuming Floyd's test results did show synthetic testosterone, what
might the next story be?

- vindictive masseuse rubbed cream on him without knowledge

- he thought it was flaxseed oil

- his body is unique in that it generates synthetic testosterone

- Miguel Tejada injected a "B12" shot that turned out to be something
else