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#1
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why I oughta .............
Gentle recovery ride out to Wynnum and Wellington Point this morning to spin out the soreness from the Noosa "letsalldraftalong" festival [see earlier post]. Easy spin with mate interrupted by Bogan in ute who decides to "buzz the tower" topgun style along old cleveland road. This was towards end of ride at 5.30am. Very little traffic. Major arterial, separated 4 lane road - good wide shoulder. Plenty of room for cars and bikes especially at this hour of the day. We were side by side, both on the _outside_ of the marked lane - ie, not even in the lane when this guy roars by and misses my bars by 8 inches at tremendous speed. He veered over from the inside lane to make this move. Pr*ck. My reaction was to flip the bird. Jerk must have been watching for a reaction. So he slams on his brakes, locks up all 4, pulls over to the side of the road, gets out of his vehicle and starts walking agressively towards us - we were still rolling along. Red mist rolls down. Adrenalin hit. I pull over, clip out and start wondering whether I'll throw a left or a right if he takes it there. I figure right. Always did my best work with the right. I need some new gloves because I was able to fling one of them (right hand) off (for deliberate menacing effect) without unfastening. Anyway, uncle fester must have lost confidence, because rather than have a go (which on any objective view of his actions was his clear intention until we got close), he wanted to engage me on road rules - he being of the view that cyclists have no right to ride 2 abreast on any road, ever. I explain the law, point out the potentially lethal consequences of his brain-dead actions and ask him to take a swing or make some threatening move so I can justifiably knock his remaining teeth out and ride home for muesli. He heads towards his ute. I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, and rough diameter of urine stain on front of his king gees and make full report to police on returning home. Funniest part of this whole story was that my mate just continued up the road. I had to ride hard for 5 mins to catch him after all this blew over. He says "you never know what sort of psycho will jump out of a ute these days ..." Exactly I said - so why the hell did you f*ck off and leave me alone with that neanderthal?? Bloody Noosa. Would not have flipped the bird had I been in my normal peace-lovin state of mind. Would just have noted rego details and reported incident to police. -- monsterman |
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#2
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why I oughta .............
Hah! Great story. I tell you, I don't have the guts to do that. I'm worried the guy I try it on will be recently released from prison and pull a gun on me. -- Walrus |
#3
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why I oughta .............
"monsterman" == monsterman writes:
monsterman I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of monsterman warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, monsterman and rough diameter of urine stain on front of his king monsterman gees and make full report to police on returning home. CHING! Excellent :-) Glad it didn't get in to fisticuffs. -- Cheers | ~~ __@ Euan | ~~ _-\, Melbourne, Australia | ~ (*)/ (*) |
#4
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why I oughta .............
monsterman wrote:
Gentle recovery ride out to Wynnum and Wellington Point this morning to spin out the soreness from the Noosa "letsalldraftalong" festival [see earlier post]. Easy spin with mate interrupted by Bogan in ute who decides to "buzz the tower" topgun style along old cleveland road. This was towards end of ride at 5.30am. Very little traffic. Major arterial, separated 4 lane road - good wide shoulder. Plenty of room for cars and bikes especially at this hour of the day. We were side by side, both on the _outside_ of the marked lane - ie, not even in the lane when this guy roars by and misses my bars by 8 inches at tremendous speed. He veered over from the inside lane to make this move. Pr*ck. My reaction was to flip the bird. Jerk must have been watching for a reaction. So he slams on his brakes, locks up all 4, pulls over to the side of the road, gets out of his vehicle and starts walking agressively towards us - we were still rolling along. Red mist rolls down. Adrenalin hit. I pull over, clip out and start wondering whether I'll throw a left or a right if he takes it there. I figure right. Always did my best work with the right. I need some new gloves because I was able to fling one of them (right hand) off (for deliberate menacing effect) without unfastening. Anyway, uncle fester must have lost confidence, because rather than have a go (which on any objective view of his actions was his clear intention until we got close), he wanted to engage me on road rules - he being of the view that cyclists have no right to ride 2 abreast on any road, ever. I explain the law, point out the potentially lethal consequences of his brain-dead actions and ask him to take a swing or make some threatening move so I can justifiably knock his remaining teeth out and ride home for muesli. He heads towards his ute. I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, and rough diameter of urine stain on front of his king gees and make full report to police on returning home. Funniest part of this whole story was that my mate just continued up the road. I had to ride hard for 5 mins to catch him after all this blew over. He says "you never know what sort of psycho will jump out of a ute these days ..." Exactly I said - so why the hell did you f*ck off and leave me alone with that neanderthal?? Bloody Noosa. Would not have flipped the bird had I been in my normal peace-lovin state of mind. Would just have noted rego details and reported incident to police. -- monsterman Your mate sucks for not sticking by! I will always follow. Although I'm normally the one stopping. No one takes me seriously though. Tam |
#5
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why I oughta .............
Walrus said: Hah! Great story. I tell you, I don't have the guts to do that. I'm worried the guy I try it on will be recently released from prison and pull a gun on me. Getting in someone's face is not normally my thing. But this guy put himself between me and the road, and I was really enraged by his lunatic dangerous actions and I reacted with emotion. I didn't feel clever or pleased when it was over. These days it certainly is smarter to avoid these situations. But - once I knew he was a harmless yellow ****ant, I should have goaded him into something. 20/20 hindsight is always a great thing - but I should have given him the school-yard chesting, or poke in the upper arm with the index finger. Or even better, thrown some of the lines that are guaranteed to start a fight in the public bar of a ****sville hotel where these types congregate, like: thats my chair!! what are you lookin at!! is she your mum? that's my 20c !! (while pointing at the pool table / pinball / slot machine who asked you!! are you lookin at my beer / girlfriend / dog / ute / jug / velcro surfie wallet / tattoo / eyebrow (there being only one) / scar / d*ck / mum / pack of "form fitting" (for the little aussie battler) condoms You have to laugh. Otherwise, its just not funny. -- monsterman |
#6
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why I oughta .............
Walrus said: Hah! Great story. I tell you, I don't have the guts to do that. I'm worried the guy I try it on will be recently released from prison and pull a gun on me. Getting in someone's face is not normally my thing. But this guy put himself between me and the road, and I was really enraged by his lunatic dangerous actions and I reacted with emotion. I didn't feel clever or pleased when it was over. These days it certainly is smarter to avoid these situations. But - once I knew he was a harmless yellow ****ant, I should have goaded him into something. 20/20 hindsight is always a great thing - but I should have given him the school-yard chesting, or poke in the upper arm with the index finger. Or even better, thrown some of the lines that are guaranteed to start a fight in the public bar of a ****sville hotel where these types congregate, like: thats my chair!! what are you lookin at!! is she your mum? that's my 20c !! (while pointing at the pool table / pinball / slot machine who asked you!! are you lookin at my beer / girlfriend / dog / ute / jug / velcro surfie wallet / tattoo / eyebrow (there being only one) / scar / d*ck / mum / pack of "form fitting" (for the little aussie battler) condoms You have to laugh. Otherwise, its just not funny. -- monsterman |
#7
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why I oughta .............
Tam Said: .........I will always follow. Although I'm normally the one stopping. No one takes me seriously though. Tam Good to know, Tam. You'd scare me you know. But I've had the benefit of reading your posts for a while now -- monsterman |
#8
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why I oughta .............
That's why I'm always a little nervous when I'm riding with you and/or
Lotte. I never quite know what 'wild, crazy adventures' we'll all get sucked into... *laughs* Abby (still injured...) |
#9
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why I oughta .............
Your mate is not your mate. Even if he was too chicken to defend you,
you need him for a witness and he should have stopped for that. If the Bogan had hit you, he could still claim you hit him first ... "I only stopped because he waved at me and I wanted to tell him not to ride in the middle of the road and then he hit me Yada Yada ...". Try and defend that without a witness. DON'T poke him or chest him, because then you have hit him first and he can belt you back. Ask yourself why you would want to do this. It's either to get in a ding-dong and win, or it's to have him up on a decent charge that is worth pursuing. Donga |
#10
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why I oughta .............
Tamyka Bell wrote:
monsterman wrote: Gentle recovery ride out to Wynnum and Wellington Point this morning to spin out the soreness from the Noosa "letsalldraftalong" festival [see earlier post]. Easy spin with mate interrupted by Bogan in ute who decides to "buzz the tower" topgun style along old cleveland road. This was towards end of ride at 5.30am. Very little traffic. Major arterial, separated 4 lane road - good wide shoulder. Plenty of room for cars and bikes especially at this hour of the day. We were side by side, both on the _outside_ of the marked lane - ie, not even in the lane when this guy roars by and misses my bars by 8 inches at tremendous speed. He veered over from the inside lane to make this move. Pr*ck. My reaction was to flip the bird. Jerk must have been watching for a reaction. So he slams on his brakes, locks up all 4, pulls over to the side of the road, gets out of his vehicle and starts walking agressively towards us - we were still rolling along. Red mist rolls down. Adrenalin hit. I pull over, clip out and start wondering whether I'll throw a left or a right if he takes it there. I figure right. Always did my best work with the right. I need some new gloves because I was able to fling one of them (right hand) off (for deliberate menacing effect) without unfastening. Anyway, uncle fester must have lost confidence, because rather than have a go (which on any objective view of his actions was his clear intention until we got close), he wanted to engage me on road rules - he being of the view that cyclists have no right to ride 2 abreast on any road, ever. I explain the law, point out the potentially lethal consequences of his brain-dead actions and ask him to take a swing or make some threatening move so I can justifiably knock his remaining teeth out and ride home for muesli. He heads towards his ute. I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, and rough diameter of urine stain on front of his king gees and make full report to police on returning home. Funniest part of this whole story was that my mate just continued up the road. I had to ride hard for 5 mins to catch him after all this blew over. He says "you never know what sort of psycho will jump out of a ute these days ..." Exactly I said - so why the hell did you f*ck off and leave me alone with that neanderthal?? Bloody Noosa. Would not have flipped the bird had I been in my normal peace-lovin state of mind. Would just have noted rego details and reported incident to police. -- monsterman Your mate sucks for not sticking by! I will always follow. Although I'm normally the one stopping. No one takes me seriously though. Tam Time for a new mate I think. Yeah.. a real mate helps you get rid of the body after. Dave |
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