If I had a revolution I'd swap cars for bikes

If I had a revolution --I do-- in one those Banana Republics out there
(hey, plenty of them, don't just think about America), I'd probably
take cue from Chavez --yes, he can be smart too-- and swap cars for
bikes. Good bikes for that matter.

Chavez will swap gas-guzzlers for clean cars
CARACAS, Venezuela - Give up your gas-guzzler and get a free car.
That's President Hugo Chavez's offer to Venezuelans.

Chavez says he plans to start a program next year that will give away
cars running on less-polluting natural gas to people who turn in old
cars that consume "too much gasoline."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081005/...uela_free_cars

***

So what would you do if you had a revolution?

WHY THE BANANA REVOLUTION?
(reason #101: because bananas power bikes!)

http://webspawner.com/users/bananarevolution

"ComandanteBanana" wrote in message
...
If I had a revolution --I do-- in one those Banana Republics out there
(hey, plenty of them, don't just think about America), I'd probably
take cue from Chavez --yes, he can be smart too-- and swap cars for
bikes. Good bikes for that matter.

In other words you like using food for bike fuel so you can kill off as many
third world people as possible.

On Oct 5, 1:19*pm, John Mayson wrote:
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Interesting. *I guess he realizes oil is in decline. *Still, the top
selling Hummer dealership is in Caracas.

Maybe he's playing camouflage (trying to look good) when promoting
efficient cars while keeping the gallon of gas at 12 cents.

I think Big Oil and him are one big happy family.

On Oct 5, 1:23*pm, "Jack May" wrote:
"ComandanteBanana" wrote in message

...

If I had a revolution --I do-- in one those Banana Republics out there
(hey, plenty of them, don't just think about America), I'd probably
take cue from Chavez --yes, he can be smart too-- and swap cars for
bikes. Good bikes for that matter.

In other words you like using food for bike fuel so you can kill off as many
third world people as possible.

You don't seem to know much about energy efficiency, do you?

When you are powered by bananas, you only carry yourself plus the
weight of the bicycle, say, 1/20th the weight of you carrying an SUV.

So you can still cause some minor suffering, but nothing comparable to
what you do with an SUV.

And then if we have a revolution down there too, we can have the
banana workers work in coops with all the benefits and perks --
including healthcare-- normal to the civilized nations outside the
USA.

On Oct 5, 4:16*pm, Little Meow wrote:
"Jack May" wrote m:



"ComandanteBanana" wrote in message
.
..
If I had a revolution --I do-- in one those Banana Republics out
there (hey, plenty of them, don't just think about America), I'd
probably take cue from Chavez --yes, he can be smart too-- and swap
cars for bikes. Good bikes for that matter.

In other words you like using food for bike fuel so you can kill off
as many third world people as possible.

According to the Commandante's teachings, it's the law of the jungle,
but one must also mention that lions, monkeys, and bananas figure
into the equation. In what way? I don't know. My understanding of
Banana Epistemology is lacking.

You don't seem to watch Animal Planet let alone political debates.

Like in the jungle, politics is about camouflage (lies) by which you
hide the fact that the big predators (lion) eat the common people (the
sheep). Then the monkey realizes this game of deceit and cries: LION!

Oh, the banana is for the lion trying to eat the monkey.

On Oct 5, 4:23 pm, Tom Sherman
wrote:
Jack May wrote:
"ComandanteBanana" wrote in message
...
If I had a revolution --I do-- in one those Banana Republics out there
(hey, plenty of them, don't just think about America), I'd probably
take cue from Chavez --yes, he can be smart too-- and swap cars for
bikes. Good bikes for that matter.

In other words you like using food for bike fuel so you can kill off as many
third world people as possible.

And Mr. May has admitted to participating in unnecessary physical
activity for "exercise". We should be putting the owners of gyms, the
makers of "fitness equipment" and sports equipment and all who partake
in needless physical activity on trial for mass murder, no?

We will not mention the amount of potential food-stocks (corn [1] and
soy beans) being used to make motor fuel.

[1] Maize for people in .uk.

Yeap, we shall export the American way of life where the fatter you
are the better.

It feeds the Healthcare Industry for one.

On Oct 6, 2:04 am, "Jack May" wrote:

We will not mention the amount of potential food-stocks (corn [1] and soy
beans) being used to make motor fuel.

The work on biofuels is developing approaches that do not use food sources
for fuel. You are way out of touch with what is going on.

I exercise to keep myself very health. My "gym" is an Olympic size
trampoline in my back yard I have had for years.

Are you promoting trampolines? They sound fun, but do they get
something accomplished, like when you commute by bike?

And are they kind of boring after jumping on it for half an hour?

OK, if we had a revolution in this country (fill in the blank), we
could put in place a BICYCLE PROGRAM like this. Notice this is
someone's contribution to the revolution...

(I quote, link below)

If we have a revolution in this country:

1) We should make cycling a pre-requisite for driver's ed. lessons.

2) We should give cyclists a tax break for cycling to work (this is
already in progress, maybe the revolution has already started).

3) Motorists who approach bicycles should be treated the same way as
any child molester. Children ride bicycles, therefore anyone who
approaches a bicycle is a child-molester.

4) We should build a system of super-bikeways. Every Interstate
highway and parkway should have a parallel bikeway. The super-bikeways
should be wide enough for streamlined recumbent bikes to run at speed
(~80MPH). The superbikeways should have elevated flyover bridges to
avoid highway crossings.

5) Privatize the highways- Let bicycle clubs in on the bidding to buy
highways and charge heavy tolls on cars.

6) Institute the Death Penalty for any motorist who kills a cyclist.
(Or at least life in prison.)

7) Work proactively with Trucking Companies and Teamsters to get roads
widened, and get inept motorists off the road.

8) Double or triple the number of Amtrak trains.

9) Install light-rail back in every city street which once had
trolleys.

10) Install a device in every car to limit the speed to the actual
posted speed-limit. (The technology is coming, we already have GPS.
Every car should have an RFID chip and every speed-limit sign could
have a scanner to read said RFID chip.)

11) Give 100 million dollars to Nascar to expand the Nascar track
circuit to keep motorists happy. Motorists will still be allowed to
drive faster than the speed limit, they will just have to do it at the
nearest motor-sport park.

12) Make Cycling a sport at every high school. Funds should at least
match what they are paying for school football.

13) Install signs reading "SHARE THE ROAD" on more roads.

14) Double the frequency of road sweeping.

15) Do more brush cutting to clear roadside vegetation.

16) Give bicycle companies "Equal Time" with car companies. Television
and Radio stations will be required to air a bike commercial for every
car advertisement they run.

17) install video surveillance at every bicycle rack, to eliminate the
need for heavy U-locks. Plus install more bicycle racks.

18) Eliminate street parking for automobiles, make the kerb-side
(curbside) lane a bike lane.

-Finis-

There may be more good ideas to institute. Thank you, Mr. Quixote1954,
for starting this thread.

http://www.bikeforums.net/showthread.php?t=473460

(Refers to the BICYCLE PROGRAM above, and the constiutionality of the
death penalty. Notice that now the fact of riding a bike often amounts
to a death penalty)

Originally Posted by Roughstuff

"I like the numbers I have highlighted.

(6) which proves the death penalty IS, indeed, constitutional!"

***


Not sure about that, but I'm sure that if bicycles had been around
when the Constitution was written, it would had been a different
story...

"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happines... guaranteed by the
bicycle"...

(Can you believe some people are already worried about the revolution?
But it's for Venezuela, right?)

(I answer at bottom)

Originally Posted by Viva.Viagra

1 - Then let's make sure the cyclist is also licensed. And failure to
obey the posted laws results in the egregious fines.

2 - Why does the goverment need to be involved? You can't have a
revolution and ask for goverment intervention at the same time.

3 - Way to paint with a broad brush. Should the next step be to label
all black cyclists as potential terrorists? All male cyclists as
rapists?

4 - Great. Where's that funding going to come from?

5 - So you want the goverment to subsidize cycling, build super
bikeways but privatize them? What happens when the owner of the
private highway now decides he doesn't like the cyclist using it?

7 - Make sure you remove the inept cyclists at the same time. Those
that don't conform must be eliminated.

10 - So our revolution leads to back to 1984 and the abolition of
privacy? Why should only the car have a chip. Why not every vehicle.
Heck, let's impant the chip into every citizen at birth. The Nazi's
made the Jews wear flair, it's the next logical step.

16 - Bicycle companys are free to purchase commercial air time, just
like any other free enterprize


In closing...........Viva La Stupidity !!


Be careful of the revolution you advocate. People like you are likely
to be the first lined up against a wall.

***


No, only the motorized people need to be licensed. There's very little
damage a bicycle can do.

2- Under the revolution the goverment will be on the side of the weak
and rightful. Nothing wrong with that.

3- Those minorities would only be potential terrorists if they are
behind the wheel of an SUV. THEY TERRORIZED PEOPLE.

4- The funding is coming from stopping the wars over oil. I don't
think we would need wars over bananas, right?

5- People to drive SUVs are fine with paying tolls. They advocate
hands off from the government (Libertarian Party in United Selfish of
America).

7- Inept cyclists remove themselves from the gene pool. They don't
kill others like reckless SUV drivers do.

10- No, the revolution doesn't need to see your underwear at airports,
just make sure the proles on bikes are safe from the predators out
there.


NOTE: I DON'T EVEN DREAM OF SURVIVING THE REVOLUTION, but I've had
some close calls by doing nothing else than riding a bike in traffic!
Besides, the revolution is for Venezuela or something, right?

Hey, VIVA LA BANANA!