why I oughta .............

Gentle recovery ride out to Wynnum and Wellington Point this morning to
spin out the soreness from the Noosa "letsalldraftalong" festival [see
earlier post]. Easy spin with mate interrupted by Bogan in ute who
decides to "buzz the tower" topgun style along old cleveland road.
This was towards end of ride at 5.30am. Very little traffic. Major
arterial, separated 4 lane road - good wide shoulder. Plenty of room
for cars and bikes especially at this hour of the day. We were side by
side, both on the _outside_ of the marked lane - ie, not even in the
lane when this guy roars by and misses my bars by 8 inches at
tremendous speed. He veered over from the inside lane to make this
move. Pr*ck.

My reaction was to flip the bird. Jerk must have been watching for a
reaction. So he slams on his brakes, locks up all 4, pulls over to the
side of the road, gets out of his vehicle and starts walking agressively
towards us - we were still rolling along. Red mist rolls down.
Adrenalin hit. I pull over, clip out and start wondering whether I'll
throw a left or a right if he takes it there. I figure right. Always
did my best work with the right. I need some new gloves because I was
able to fling one of them (right hand) off (for deliberate menacing
effect) without unfastening. Anyway, uncle fester must have lost
confidence, because rather than have a go (which on any objective view
of his actions was his clear intention until we got close), he wanted
to engage me on road rules - he being of the view that cyclists have no
right to ride 2 abreast on any road, ever. I explain the law, point out
the potentially lethal consequences of his brain-dead actions and ask
him to take a swing or make some threatening move so I can justifiably
knock his remaining teeth out and ride home for muesli. He heads
towards his ute. I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of
warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, and rough
diameter of urine stain on front of his king gees and make full report
to police on returning home.

Funniest part of this whole story was that my mate just continued up
the road. I had to ride hard for 5 mins to catch him after all this
blew over. He says "you never know what sort of psycho will jump out
of a ute these days ..." Exactly I said - so why the hell did you f*ck
off and leave me alone with that neanderthal??

Bloody Noosa. Would not have flipped the bird had I been in my normal
peace-lovin state of mind. Would just have noted rego details and
reported incident to police.


--
monsterman

Hah! Great story. I tell you, I don't have the guts to do that. I'm
worried the guy I try it on will be recently released from prison and
pull a gun on me.


--
Walrus

"monsterman" == monsterman writes:

monsterman I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of
monsterman warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth,
monsterman and rough diameter of urine stain on front of his king
monsterman gees and make full report to police on returning home.

CHING! Excellent :-)

Glad it didn't get in to fisticuffs.
--
Cheers | ~~ __@
Euan | ~~ _-\,
Melbourne, Australia | ~ (*)/ (*)

monsterman wrote:

Gentle recovery ride out to Wynnum and Wellington Point this morning to
spin out the soreness from the Noosa "letsalldraftalong" festival [see
earlier post]. Easy spin with mate interrupted by Bogan in ute who
decides to "buzz the tower" topgun style along old cleveland road.
This was towards end of ride at 5.30am. Very little traffic. Major
arterial, separated 4 lane road - good wide shoulder. Plenty of room
for cars and bikes especially at this hour of the day. We were side by
side, both on the _outside_ of the marked lane - ie, not even in the
lane when this guy roars by and misses my bars by 8 inches at
tremendous speed. He veered over from the inside lane to make this
move. Pr*ck.

My reaction was to flip the bird. Jerk must have been watching for a
reaction. So he slams on his brakes, locks up all 4, pulls over to the
side of the road, gets out of his vehicle and starts walking agressively
towards us - we were still rolling along. Red mist rolls down.
Adrenalin hit. I pull over, clip out and start wondering whether I'll
throw a left or a right if he takes it there. I figure right. Always
did my best work with the right. I need some new gloves because I was
able to fling one of them (right hand) off (for deliberate menacing
effect) without unfastening. Anyway, uncle fester must have lost
confidence, because rather than have a go (which on any objective view
of his actions was his clear intention until we got close), he wanted
to engage me on road rules - he being of the view that cyclists have no
right to ride 2 abreast on any road, ever. I explain the law, point out
the potentially lethal consequences of his brain-dead actions and ask
him to take a swing or make some threatening move so I can justifiably
knock his remaining teeth out and ride home for muesli. He heads
towards his ute. I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of
warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, and rough
diameter of urine stain on front of his king gees and make full report
to police on returning home.

Funniest part of this whole story was that my mate just continued up
the road. I had to ride hard for 5 mins to catch him after all this
blew over. He says "you never know what sort of psycho will jump out
of a ute these days ..." Exactly I said - so why the hell did you f*ck
off and leave me alone with that neanderthal??

Bloody Noosa. Would not have flipped the bird had I been in my normal
peace-lovin state of mind. Would just have noted rego details and
reported incident to police.

--
monsterman

Your mate sucks for not sticking by! I will always follow. Although I'm
normally the one stopping. No one takes me seriously though.

Tam

Walrus said:

Hah! Great story. I tell you, I don't have the guts to do
that. I'm worried the guy I try it on will be recently released from
prison and pull a gun on me.

Getting in someone's face is not normally my thing. But this guy put
himself between me and the road, and I was really enraged by his lunatic
dangerous actions and I reacted with emotion. I didn't feel clever or
pleased when it was over. These days it certainly is smarter to avoid
these situations.

But - once I knew he was a harmless yellow ****ant, I should have goaded
him into something. 20/20 hindsight is always a great thing - but I
should have given him the school-yard chesting, or poke in the upper arm
with the index finger. Or even better, thrown some of the lines that are
guaranteed to start a fight in the public bar of a ****sville hotel where
these types congregate, like:

thats my chair!!
what are you lookin at!!
is she your mum?
that's my 20c !! (while pointing at the pool table / pinball / slot
machine
who asked you!!
are you lookin at my beer / girlfriend / dog / ute / jug / velcro
surfie wallet / tattoo / eyebrow (there being only one) / scar / d*ck /
mum / pack of "form fitting" (for the little aussie battler) condoms

You have to laugh. Otherwise, its just not funny.


--
monsterman

Walrus said:

Hah! Great story. I tell you, I don't have the guts to do
that. I'm worried the guy I try it on will be recently released from
prison and pull a gun on me.

Getting in someone's face is not normally my thing. But this guy put
himself between me and the road, and I was really enraged by his lunatic
dangerous actions and I reacted with emotion. I didn't feel clever or
pleased when it was over. These days it certainly is smarter to avoid
these situations.

But - once I knew he was a harmless yellow ****ant, I should have goaded
him into something. 20/20 hindsight is always a great thing - but I
should have given him the school-yard chesting, or poke in the upper arm
with the index finger. Or even better, thrown some of the lines that are
guaranteed to start a fight in the public bar of a ****sville hotel where
these types congregate, like:

thats my chair!!
what are you lookin at!!
is she your mum?
that's my 20c !! (while pointing at the pool table / pinball / slot
machine
who asked you!!
are you lookin at my beer / girlfriend / dog / ute / jug / velcro
surfie wallet / tattoo / eyebrow (there being only one) / scar / d*ck /
mum / pack of "form fitting" (for the little aussie battler) condoms

You have to laugh. Otherwise, its just not funny.


--
monsterman

Tam Said:


.........I will always follow. Although I'm
normally the one stopping. No one takes me seriously though.

Tam

Good to know, Tam. You'd scare me you know. But I've had the benefit
of reading your posts for a while now


--
monsterman

That's why I'm always a little nervous when I'm riding with you and/or
Lotte. I never quite know what 'wild, crazy adventures' we'll all get
sucked into... *laughs*

Abby (still injured...)

Your mate is not your mate. Even if he was too chicken to defend you,
you need him for a witness and he should have stopped for that. If the
Bogan had hit you, he could still claim you hit him first ... "I only
stopped because he waved at me and I wanted to tell him not to ride in
the middle of the road and then he hit me Yada Yada ...". Try and
defend that without a witness.

DON'T poke him or chest him, because then you have hit him first and he
can belt you back. Ask yourself why you would want to do this. It's
either to get in a ding-dong and win, or it's to have him up on a
decent charge that is worth pursuing.

Donga

Tamyka Bell wrote:
monsterman wrote:

Gentle recovery ride out to Wynnum and Wellington Point this morning to
spin out the soreness from the Noosa "letsalldraftalong" festival [see
earlier post]. Easy spin with mate interrupted by Bogan in ute who
decides to "buzz the tower" topgun style along old cleveland road.
This was towards end of ride at 5.30am. Very little traffic. Major
arterial, separated 4 lane road - good wide shoulder. Plenty of room
for cars and bikes especially at this hour of the day. We were side by
side, both on the _outside_ of the marked lane - ie, not even in the
lane when this guy roars by and misses my bars by 8 inches at
tremendous speed. He veered over from the inside lane to make this
move. Pr*ck.

My reaction was to flip the bird. Jerk must have been watching for a
reaction. So he slams on his brakes, locks up all 4, pulls over to the
side of the road, gets out of his vehicle and starts walking agressively
towards us - we were still rolling along. Red mist rolls down.
Adrenalin hit. I pull over, clip out and start wondering whether I'll
throw a left or a right if he takes it there. I figure right. Always
did my best work with the right. I need some new gloves because I was
able to fling one of them (right hand) off (for deliberate menacing
effect) without unfastening. Anyway, uncle fester must have lost
confidence, because rather than have a go (which on any objective view
of his actions was his clear intention until we got close), he wanted
to engage me on road rules - he being of the view that cyclists have no
right to ride 2 abreast on any road, ever. I explain the law, point out
the potentially lethal consequences of his brain-dead actions and ask
him to take a swing or make some threatening move so I can justifiably
knock his remaining teeth out and ride home for muesli. He heads
towards his ute. I memorize his rego, vehicle description, number of
warts on each size of face, location of missing teeth, and rough
diameter of urine stain on front of his king gees and make full report
to police on returning home.

Funniest part of this whole story was that my mate just continued up
the road. I had to ride hard for 5 mins to catch him after all this
blew over. He says "you never know what sort of psycho will jump out
of a ute these days ..." Exactly I said - so why the hell did you f*ck
off and leave me alone with that neanderthal??

Bloody Noosa. Would not have flipped the bird had I been in my normal
peace-lovin state of mind. Would just have noted rego details and
reported incident to police.

--
monsterman


Your mate sucks for not sticking by! I will always follow. Although I'm
normally the one stopping. No one takes me seriously though.

Tam

Time for a new mate I think. Yeah.. a real mate helps you get rid of
the body after.

Dave