Newbie needs Help (Crusty middle-aged guy been out of the saddle for a decade plus)

Long story short(ened)

Back in the early nineties I was a road-raging madman. It was my first hitch
in the military and I was gonna whip the entire planet's butt road-racing
when I got out. I got distracted by something shiny or maybe a bird or
something.... Anyway I just quit riding one day after doing a good, fast
century in successive thunderstorms (I think the meteorologist call it a
"training" storm system..... This info. is not important). Anyhoo... my
lovely bride sez we are gonna go out with her mountain-biking buddies
tomorrow and I'm gonna have a really long day if I don't have anything to
ride, I get shin-splints chasing bicycles all day. She drags me down to
Meg-A-Lo Mart last night and whips an alu-frame "Schwinn" (please note the
quotes around "Schwinn".... I do air quotes anytime I say it) off the top
rack with one arm. She ask "Does it fit???"... I check both ways for anyone
that might recognize me and swing a leg over. I tell the missez that It will
need a bit of tuning and probably a new set of rims, but lets whip the
charge card out and get the hell outta here.

Bottom line.... I'm freakin' hooked but I need to get up to speed. Where can
I get some good intel?? This Meg-A-Lo bike has a linear pull brakes,
aluminum frame and a threadless headset..... What are the bike shops selling
now??? Titanium frames and magnetron braking???? Guys (girls) please forgive
my ignorance, but I have forgotten the utter joy of propelling myself around
the planet; steer me to some good reading. Make me a productive member of
society once again. The wife is asking me to upgrade her bike (she rides a
bike shop nonsuspended NameBrand with no quote marks) to a hardtail. I have
no clue as how to research this. Thanks for looking, I appriciate any and
all advice on my re-entry to the self propelled scene.

Harvey. M

PS. Nothing important to follow, just some info on myself if you are
interested. I'm a thirty something National Guard type, mobilized of
course, but in the States thankfully. I am going to "School" in North
Carolina at the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School..... or
"Swick" for those in the know. If you are really in the know, I have
basically started from scratch (Prior AF) and am a Phase II recycle due to
injury. I have been at Bragg and or Benning since January. My last ride
was a Shogun Katana road bike / Club Racer that was heavily tuned. I was
logging 450-600 miles per week when I was training for the big time Road
Show. That was twelve years ago............

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