The Shed Thread

On 18/05/2012 12:08, Wm... wrote:
Fri, 18 May 2012 08:38:12
uk.rec.cycling Dave - Cyclists VOR


But now you know what a tat you are.

OK, what is a tat?

Sorry, I meant ****. I've been taking spelling lessons from a middle
aged failed primary school teacher.

--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton - Lancaster
University

On Fri, 18 May 2012 18:50:45 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 17/05/2012 21:23, Bertie Wooster wrote:
On Thu, 17 May 2012 20:42:15 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 17/05/2012 20:24, Bertie Wooster wrote:
On Thu, 17 May 2012 18:42:05 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 14/05/2012 16:56, Judith wrote:
On Sun, 13 May 2012 13:51:12 +0100, Bertie
wrote:

On Wed, 11 Apr 2012 22:20:40 +0100, Bertie Wooster
wrote:

As some of you may recall, I have discovered an 8 metre by 4 metre
patio under a heap of soil and compost at the end of my garden. The
patio is now clear.

I intend to use the patio to build a log cabin and garden store.
http://www.elbecgardenbuildings.co.u...eygrove%20.jpg

Mad Dave doesn't believe I can do it - but given the quality of his
decking I have no confidence in his judgement.

The log cabin is now ordered, and I expect delivery in a couple of
weeks. But today I took the first step in the cabin's construction. I
picked up 15 breize blocks to lay the cabin's bearers on, and
positioned them roughly.

Here are a couple of before and after shots.
http://www.britishschoolofcycling.com/photos/shed/00
http://www.britishschoolofcycling.com/photos/shed/01

I'll keep updating as the cabin's construction progresses.

The shed bearers are now joined and in position ready for next
weekend's build - if the weather is fair.
http://www.britishschoolofcycling.co...os/shed/05.jpg

One of the bearers is warped, but I am assured that the weight of the
shed will straighten it.

I now need to cut some damp proof course to length to lay under the
bearers.

The flooring has had two coats of weatherproofing, and I will now give
it a third coat. Once nailed in place the underside of the floor will
be inaccessible for further treatment.



Dave : say nothing until he has passed the point of no return :-)

I do hope the weather is fine over the weekend, so Cwispin can build his
shed.

I can't wait to point out the classic inexperienced beginners mistake he
has made - when it's too late.

Let me guess...

I forgot to paint one joist white:
http://www.medwayhandyman.co.uk/scotts%20deck3.jpg

Are you really a teacher? Only you seem a bit thick. I'll try& explain
in simple terms.

It's not paint, it's excess tanalising treatment. You won't know what
that is obviously. It disappears after the first shower of rain.

The next doors neighbours commissioned me to build them a deck a year later.

Sorry if that makes you look like a ****, but you do ask for it.

Even a single fence panel should be left white:
http://www.medwayhandyman.co.uk/Photo[02].jpg

You better tell whoever put the fence up then ****wit - it wasn't me.

Bah! I should have known... It hadn't fallen down.

Grasping at straws or what? Just how desperate are you?

Cwispin. Please stop making yourself look like a sad bitter ****. We
know you are a sad bitter ****, but you shouldn't advertise it.

I can understand why you continue to make these cheap jibes, it's the
frustration at being unable to ever win an argument & continually being
made to look foolish.

It can't be easy being a failed middle aged primary school teacher, but
given your overall intelligence I think you have done quite well really.
Especially given your lack of social skills.

Now, perhaps you should tell the class; how, if I'm so incompetent, have
I run a successful business during the worst recession in living memory
& not only survived, but prospered? How come I get most of my business
from recommendations? How come each & every deck you have criticized
(with your in depth timber knowledge) has lead to another decking job?

Speak up boy we are waiting.

Cheap crap:
http://tinyurl.com/c9yjb8q

On 18/05/2012 19:04, Bertie Wooster wrote:
On Fri, 18 May 2012 18:50:45 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 17/05/2012 21:23, Bertie Wooster wrote:
On Thu, 17 May 2012 20:42:15 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 17/05/2012 20:24, Bertie Wooster wrote:
On Thu, 17 May 2012 18:42:05 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 14/05/2012 16:56, Judith wrote:
On Sun, 13 May 2012 13:51:12 +0100, Bertie
wrote:

On Wed, 11 Apr 2012 22:20:40 +0100, Bertie Wooster
wrote:

As some of you may recall, I have discovered an 8 metre by 4 metre
patio under a heap of soil and compost at the end of my garden. The
patio is now clear.

I intend to use the patio to build a log cabin and garden store.
http://www.elbecgardenbuildings.co.u...eygrove%20.jpg

Mad Dave doesn't believe I can do it - but given the quality of his
decking I have no confidence in his judgement.

The log cabin is now ordered, and I expect delivery in a couple of
weeks. But today I took the first step in the cabin's construction. I
picked up 15 breize blocks to lay the cabin's bearers on, and
positioned them roughly.

Here are a couple of before and after shots.
http://www.britishschoolofcycling.com/photos/shed/00
http://www.britishschoolofcycling.com/photos/shed/01

I'll keep updating as the cabin's construction progresses.

The shed bearers are now joined and in position ready for next
weekend's build - if the weather is fair.
http://www.britishschoolofcycling.co...os/shed/05.jpg

One of the bearers is warped, but I am assured that the weight of the
shed will straighten it.

I now need to cut some damp proof course to length to lay under the
bearers.

The flooring has had two coats of weatherproofing, and I will now give
it a third coat. Once nailed in place the underside of the floor will
be inaccessible for further treatment.



Dave : say nothing until he has passed the point of no return :-)

I do hope the weather is fine over the weekend, so Cwispin can build his
shed.

I can't wait to point out the classic inexperienced beginners mistake he
has made - when it's too late.

Let me guess...

I forgot to paint one joist white:
http://www.medwayhandyman.co.uk/scotts%20deck3.jpg

Are you really a teacher? Only you seem a bit thick. I'll try& explain
in simple terms.

It's not paint, it's excess tanalising treatment. You won't know what
that is obviously. It disappears after the first shower of rain.

The next doors neighbours commissioned me to build them a deck a year later.

Sorry if that makes you look like a ****, but you do ask for it.

Even a single fence panel should be left white:
http://www.medwayhandyman.co.uk/Photo[02].jpg

You better tell whoever put the fence up then ****wit - it wasn't me.

Bah! I should have known... It hadn't fallen down.

Grasping at straws or what? Just how desperate are you?

Cwispin. Please stop making yourself look like a sad bitter ****. We
know you are a sad bitter ****, but you shouldn't advertise it.

I can understand why you continue to make these cheap jibes, it's the
frustration at being unable to ever win an argument& continually being
made to look foolish.

It can't be easy being a failed middle aged primary school teacher, but
given your overall intelligence I think you have done quite well really.
Especially given your lack of social skills.

Now, perhaps you should tell the class; how, if I'm so incompetent, have
I run a successful business during the worst recession in living memory
& not only survived, but prospered? How come I get most of my business
from recommendations? How come each& every deck you have criticized
(with your in depth timber knowledge) has lead to another decking job?

Speak up boy we are waiting.

Cheap crap:
http://tinyurl.com/c9yjb8q

Oh dear. Another pathetic response from a loser.

Is that the best you can do? I suppose it is actually.

What a shame I'm the most expensive handyman in the area.

****ed up again haven't we?

What did I tell you about making yourself look like a sad bitter ****?

2/10 must try harder.

The class is still waiting. Speak up boy.

--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton - Lancaster
University

Fri, 18 May 2012 18:52:11 uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR

On 18/05/2012 12:08, Wm... wrote:
Fri, 18 May 2012 08:38:12
uk.rec.cycling Dave - Cyclists VOR


But now you know what a tat you are.

OK, what is a tat?

Sorry, I meant ****. I've been taking spelling lessons from a middle
aged failed primary school teacher.

Let's just say I'm glad I'm not your partner.

--
Wm...
Reply-To: address valid for at least 7 days

On Fri, 18 May 2012 18:30:15 +0100, Dave - Cyclists VOR
wrote:

On 18/05/2012 12:59, Judith wrote:
On Fri, 18 May 2012 02:36:48 -0700 (PDT), Simon
wrote:

snip



We had a cat that got run over eight years ago though and we are
paranoid that it could happen again so they are not allowed out of the
back garden.



ffs

So you have a fence, over which your cat cannot jump.

Perhaps they are plastic cats from Lidl - like the sheep?


Rover will have a field day :-)

On 18/05/2012 19:33, Wm... wrote:
Fri, 18 May 2012 18:52:11 uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR

On 18/05/2012 12:08, Wm... wrote:
Fri, 18 May 2012 08:38:12
uk.rec.cycling Dave - Cyclists VOR


But now you know what a tat you are.

OK, what is a tat?

Sorry, I meant ****. I've been taking spelling lessons from a middle
aged failed primary school teacher.

Let's just say I'm glad I'm not your partner.

Not as glad as I am pal.

--
Dave - Cyclists VOR. "Many people barely recognise the bicycle as a
legitimate mode of transport; it is either a toy for children or a
vehicle fit only for the poor and/or strange," Dave Horton - Lancaster
University

On 18/05/2012 10:36, Simon Mason wrote:
On May 17, 10:26 pm, wrote:


Make it an accurate representation, limp.

If I did that the cats may get out into next door's garden like they
did today.

Yes, they will escape your prison fence, but at least make it easy for
them to get back in after they've been out for a wander.

I spent ages looking for one around dinner time after it escaped -
luckily I found it safe and well.

They don't need nursing.

We had a cat that got run over eight years ago though and we are
paranoid that it could happen again so they are not allowed out of the
back garden.

Have you got a rabbit-proof fence dug down at least 30", secure solid gates
and the garden fully "roofed" with with well-maintained fine-mesh chicken wire?

If you haven't, you might just as well try to keep your cats on a vegetarian
diet.

On 18/05/2012 12:05, Wm... wrote:

JNugent
Wm... wrote:
Dave - Cyclists VOR

I do hope the weather is fine over the weekend, so Cwispin can build his
shed.
I can't wait to point out the classic inexperienced beginners mistake he
has made - when it's too late.

Historically people that cared encouraged cyclists.
Why do you have a problem with UK people getting Olympic medals?

Well done.

Thank you.

Don't mention it. You deserved it.

You are now the official front-runner for having posted Non-Sequitur of the
Year 2012.

I doubt it.

Don't under-estimate your achievement.

It was such an amazing effort that it is hard to see how anyone could catch
you up between now and Christmas.

I'm confident someone else has already outdone me in this very group. Are you
perhaps guilty of only noticing some non sequiturs?

Perhaps, but it would be hard to find a more spectacular non-sequitur than
responding to a post about building sheds with a remark about encouraging
cyclists and asking about Olympic medals.

Aside: the capitals and hyphen are redundant.

Not when describing such a prestigious award.

On a more positive note: at least you are aware of what your fellows often
do, why don't you point it out to them when they do it?

If anyone ever posts a better one than yours, I shall.

On 18/05/2012 12:08, Wm... wrote:
Fri, 18 May 2012 08:38:12 uk.rec.cycling
Dave - Cyclists VOR


But now you know what a tat you are.

OK, what is a tat?

I was hoping
JNugent
would express his concern about this before I pointed it out.

I know what it is.

Among other possibilities, it is a well-known spelling mistake or typo.

Egregious, no doubt, but I am in no position to crow about typos - and we
both know that a mere typo is no rival to a glorious non-sequitur faux pas
like replying to a post about sheds with remarks about cyclists and the Olympics.

On May 18, 7:35*pm, Phil W Lee wrote:
Simon Mason considered Thu, 17 May 2012 11:10:22
-0700 (PDT) the perfect time to write:









On May 16, 5:46*am, Simon Mason wrote:
On May 15, 7:50*am, Bertie Wooster wrote:

On Sun, 13 May 2012 10:07:26 -0700 (PDT), Simon Mason

wrote:
On May 13, 1:51*pm, Bertie Wooster wrote:

The shed bearers are now joined and in position ready for next
weekend's build - if the weather is fair.http://www.britishschoolofcycling.co...os/shed/05.jpg

One of the bearers is warped, but I am assured that the weight of the
shed will straighten it.

I now need to cut some damp proof course to length to lay under the
bearers.

The flooring has had two coats of weatherproofing, and I will now give
it a third coat. Once nailed in place the underside of the floor will
be inaccessible for further treatment.

Could you not paint one of the fence posts white as a homage to the
work of the Bodge Merchant?
It would raise a titter every time you went into the garden.

Painting a single fence post - or even a single fence slat - white
would be far too unprofessional.

True - but it would be funny to look at.
I am going to look around my gardens to find if I can paint some odd
bit of wood white and then take a photo of it.

I have chosen a bit of fence next to one of the ponds in the back
garden that only we can see as I would hate the neighbours to catch
sight of it.
I'd be so embarrassed.

Don't forget to scatter a few fag-butts around, for the full effect.

Will do - and a few cans of Special Brew with takeaway cartons from
the local Chinky as well of course.
His wife must be a lousy cook that is all I can say.

--
Simon Mason