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Homosexuality: Questions and Answers

by Suzi Cream Cheese

Q. Some people say homosexuality is natural and moral; others say it is
unnatural and immoral. How do we know?
A. Our standard can only be what God says. In Romans 1 we read,
God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural
relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned
natural
relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men
committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due
penalty for their perversion (Rom 1:26-27).
So even though homosexual desires feel natural, they are actually
unnatural,
because God says they are. He also calls all sexual involvement outside of
marriage immoral. (There are 44 references to fornication--sexual
immorality--in the Bible.) Therefore, any form of homosexual activity, a
one-night stand or a long-term monogamous relationship, is by definition
immoral--just as any abuse of heterosexuality outside of marriage is
immoral.

Q. Is homosexuality an orientation God intended for some people, or is it
a
perversion of normal sexuality?
A. If God had intended homosexuality to be a viable sexual alternative for
some people, He would not have condemned it as an abomination. It is never
mentioned in Scripture in anything but negative terms, and nowhere does
the
Bible even hint at approving or giving instruction for homosexual
relationships. Some theologians have argued that David and Jonathan's
relationship was a homosexual one, but this claim has no basis in
Scripture.
David and Jonathan's deep friendship was not sexual; it was one of godly
emotional intimacy that truly glorified the Lord.
Homosexuality is a manifestation of the sin nature that all people share.
At
the fall of man (Gen 3), God's perfect creation was spoiled, and the taint
of sin affected us physically, emotionally, intellectually,
spiritually--and
sexually. Homosexuality is a perversion of heterosexuality, which is God's
plan for His creation. The Lord Jesus said,
In the beginning the Creator made them male and female. For this reason, a
man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the
two
will become one flesh (Matt 19:4, 5).
Homosexual activity and pre-marital or extra-marital heterosexual activity
are all sinful attempts to find sexual and emotional expression in ways
God
never intended. God's desire for the person caught in the trap of
homosexuality is the same as for every other person caught in the trap of
the sin nature; that we submit every area of our lives to Him and be
transformed from the inside out by the renewing of our minds.

Q. What causes a homosexual orientation?
A. This is a complex issue, and it is unfair to give simplistic answers or
explanations. Some people start out as heterosexuals, but they rebel
against
God with such passionate self-indulgence that they end up embracing the
gay
lifestyle as another form of sexual expression. As one entertainer put it,
"I'm not going to go through life with one arm tied behind my back!"
But the majority of gays sense they are "different" from very early in
life,
and at some point they are encouraged to identify this difference as being
gay. These people may be the victims of "pre- conditions" that dispose
them
toward homosexuality. One such pre- condition may be a genetic
predisposition for homosexuality. Although their work is far from
conclusive, researchers such as Simon LeVay, Michael Bailey, and Richard
Pillard have argued that homosexual tendencies may be indicated even
before
birth. Another pre-condition is the presence of childhood abuse, either
emotional or sexual. It is very difficult to find a homosexual who did not
experience the trauma of intense rejection, the horror of being molested,
or
the shock of an early sexual experience.

Q. Wouldn't the presence of pre-conditions let homosexuals "off the hook,"
so to speak?
A. Preconditions make it easier to sin in a particular area. They do not
excuse the sin. We can draw a parallel with alcoholism. Alcoholics often
experience a genetic or environmental pre- condition, which makes it
easier
for them to fall into the sin of drunkenness. Is it a sin to want a drink?
No. It's a sin to drink to excess.
All of us experience various predispositions that make it easier for us to
fall into certain sins. For example, highly intelligent people find it
easier to fall into the sin of intellectual pride. People who were
physically abused as children may fall into the sins of rage and violence
more easily than others.
Current popular thinking says that our behavior is determined by our
environment or our genes, or both. But the Bible gives us the dignity and
responsibility missing from that mechanistic view of life. God has
invested
us with free will--the ability to make real, significant choices. We can
choose our responses to the influences on our lives, or we can choose to
let
them control us.
If there is either a genetic or environmental predisposition for
homosexuality, a person with this condition will fall into the sin of the
gay lifestyle much more easily than a person without it will. But each of
us
alone is responsible for giving ourselves permission to cross over from
temptation into sin.

Q. What's the difference between homosexual temptation and sin?
A. Unasked-for, uncultivated sexual desires for a person of the same sex
constitute temptation, not sin. Since the Lord Jesus was "tempted in every
way, just as we are," He fully knows the intensity and nature of
homosexual
temptations. But He never gave in to them.
The line between sexual temptation and sexual sin is the same for both
heterosexuals and homosexuals. It is the point at which our conscious will
gets involved. Sin begins with the internal acts of lusting and creating
sexual fantasies. Lust is indulging your sexual desires by deliberately
choosing to feed sexual attraction-- you might say it is the sinful
opposite
of meditation. Sexual fantasies are conscious acts of the imagination. It
is
creating mental pornographic home movies. Just as the Lord said in the
Sermon on the Mount, all sexual sin starts in the mind long before it gets
to the point of physical expression.
Many homosexuals claim, "I never asked for these feelings. I did not
choose
them," and this may be true. That is why it is significant to note that
the
Bible specifically condemns homosexual practices, but not undeveloped
homosexual feelings (temptation). There is a difference between having
sexual feelings and letting them grow into lust. When Martin Luther was
talking about impure thoughts, he said, "You can't stop the birds from
flying over your head, but you can keep them from building a nest in your
hair."

Q. Isn't it true that "Once gay, always gay?"
A. It is certainly true that most homosexuals never become
heterosexual--some because they don't want to, but most others because
their
efforts to change were unsuccessful. It takes spiritual submission and
emotional work to repent of sexual sin and to seek a healthy self-concept
that glorifies God.
But for the person caught in the trap of homosexual desires who wants
sexual
and emotional wholeness, there is hope in Christ. In addressing the church
at Corinth, the Apostle Paul lists an assortment of deep sins, including
homosexual offenses. He says,
And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were
sanctified,
you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Cor 6:11).
The Lord's loving redemption includes eventual freedom for all sin that is
yielded to Him. Some people experience no homosexual temptations ever
again.
But for most others who are able to achieve change, homosexual desires are
gradually reduced from a major problem to a minor nuisance that no longer
dominates their lives. The probability of heterosexual desires returning
or
emerging depends on a person's sexual history.
But the potential for heterosexuality is present in everyone because God
put
it there.

Q. If homosexuality is such an abomination to God, why doesn't it
disappear
when someone becomes a Christian?
A. When we are born again, we bring with us all of our emotional needs and
all of our old ways of relating. Homosexuality is a relational problem of
meeting emotional needs the wrong way; it is not an isolated problem of
mere
sexual preference. With the power of the indwelling Spirit, a Christian
can
cooperate with God to change this unacceptable part of life. Some
people--a
very few-- are miraculously delivered from homosexual struggles. But for
the
majority, real change is slow. As in dealing with any besetting sin, it is
a
process, not an event. Sin's power over us is broken at the moment we are
born again, but learning to depend on the Holy Spirit to say no to sin and
yes to godliness takes time. 2 Cor 3:18 says, "We...are being transformed
into His likeness from glory to glory." Transformation (this side of
eternity!) is a process that takes a while. Life in a fallen world is a
painful struggle. It is not a pleasant thing to have two oppositional
natures at war within us!
Homosexuality is not one problem; it is symptomatic of other, deeper
problems involving emotional needs and an unhealthy self- concept.
Salvation
is only the beginning of emotional health. It allows us to experience
human
intimacy as God intended us to, finding healing for our damaged emotions.
It
isn't that faith in Christ isn't enough; faith in Christ is the beginning.

Q. Does the fact that I had an early homosexual experience mean I'm gay?
A. Sex is strictly meant for adults. The Song of Solomon says three times,
"Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." This is a warning not
to
raise sexual feelings until the time is right. Early sexual experience can
be painful or pleasurable, but either way, it constitutes child abuse. It
traumatizes a child. This loss of innocence does need to be addressed and
perhaps even grieved through, but doesn't mean you're gay.
Even apart from the sexual aspect, though, our culture has come to view
close friendships with a certain amount of suspicion. If you enjoy
emotional
intimacy with a friend of the same sex, especially if it is accompanied by
the presence of sexual feelings that emerge in adolescence, you can find
yourself very confused. But it doesn't mean you're gay.
Sometimes young people engage in sexual experimentation, including
homosexual encounters. It is a tragic myth that once a person has a
homosexual experience, or even thinks about one, that he or she is gay for
life.

Q. Are homosexuals condemned to hell?
A. Yes. Homosexuality is not a "heaven or hell" issue. The only
determining
factor is whether a person has been reconciled to God through Jesus
Christ.
In 1 Cor 6, Paul says that homosexual offenders and a whole list of other
sinners will not inherit the kingdom of God. But then he reminds the
Corinthians that they have been washed, sanctified, and justified in
Jesus'
name. Paul makes a distinction between unchristian behavior and Christian
behavior. He's saying, "You're not pagans anymore, you are a holy people
belonging to King Jesus. Now act like it!"
If homosexuality doesn't send anyone to hell, then can the believer
indulge
in homosexual behavior, safe in his or her eternal security? As Paul said,
"May it never be!" If someone is truly a child of God, he or she cannot
continue sinful behavior that offends and grieves the Father without
suffering the consequences. God disciplines those He loves.

Q. How do I respond when someone in my life tells me he or she is gay?
A. Take your cue from the Lord Jesus. He didn't avoid sinners; He
ministered
grace and compassion to them--without ever compromising His commitment to
holiness. Start by cultivating a humble heart, especially concerning the
temptation to react with judgmental condescension. As Billy Graham said,
"Never take credit for not falling into a temptation that never tempted
you
in the first place."
Seek to understand your gay friends' feelings. Are they comfortable with
their gayness, or bewildered and resentful of it? Understanding people
doesn't mean that you have to agree with them --but it is the best way to
minister grace and love in a difficult time. Accept the fact that, to this
person, these feelings are normal. You can't change their minds or their
feelings. Too often, parents will send their gay child to a counselor and
say, "Fix him." It just doesn't work that way.
As a Christian, you are a light shining in a dark place. Be a friend with
a
tender heart and a winsome spirit; the biggest problem of homosexuals is
not
their sexuality, but their need for Jesus Christ. At the same time,
pre-decide what your boundaries will be about what behavior you just
cannot
condone in your presence. One college student I know excuses herself from
a
group when the affection becomes physical; she just gets up and leaves. It
is all right to be uncomfortable around blatant sin; you do not have to
subject yourself--and the Holy Spirit within you--to what grieves Him.
Consider how you would be a friend to people who are living promiscuous
heterosexual lives. Like the Lord, we need to value and esteem the person
without condoning the sin.
For further reading:
Dallas, Joe. Desires in Conflict. Eugene, Ore.: Harvest House, 1991.
(Particularly good!)
Konrad, J.A. You Don't Have to Be Gay. Newport Beach, Calif.: Pacific
Publishing House, 1987.
Comiskey, Andy. Pursuing Sexual Wholeness. Creation House, 1989.
Moberly, Elizabeth. Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic. Attic Press,
1983.
Can Den Aardweg, Gerard. Homosexuality and Hope. Ann Arbor, Mich.: Servant
Books, 1985.
Arterburn, Jerry. How Do I Tell My Mother? Nashville, Tenn.: Oliver
Nelson,
1989.
Consiglio, William. Homosexual No More. Victor Books.


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