The Fattie Whisperer, Vol. 1, Issue 1

The Fattie Whisperer
Vol. 1, Issue 1, March 27, 2005

Into:
Welcome to the inaugural issue of The Fattie Whisperer. I have
selected a remarkably insightful and educational posting by one of my
favorite rbr contributors, Magilla Gorilla.

In this piece Magilla delivers several theories about unsuccessful
periodization on the part of professional bicycle racer, Bobby Julich
of Team CSC, especially in relation to other notable stars expected to
do well in the Tour de France.

He later makes a rather astute observation regarding the Webcor Team at
the SFGP in an attempt to appeal to The Fattie's domestic knowledge in
the hopes they can apply this to the international circuit. Well done
brother Gorilla.

This is a longer piece but I think our contributor has done a good job
of breaking the thoughts into logical, and most importantly for The
Fattie, easily consumable chunks o' bike racing knowledge. Please pay
attention. Feel free to post questions.

And now on to our feature, and original Magilla Gorilla Post (original
link at bottom of page):


..........
Just when I think I've taught you barebacks to stop loitering in
bathhouses, you start up again. Bobby doesn't need to rest for
anything in May or July because he knows he's gonna be one of the first
guys to pop on the climbs in the Giro and Tour. He may as well start a
support group with Iban Mayo.

Pay attention cause this is on the final exam.


1. B. Jew Lick's performance in March will have no bearing on his
performance in the Giro or Tour. Go rent the videos from the past 6
years of those races if you want to see what happens to Bobby when the
big boys turn the cranks and mean it.


2. B. Jew Lick pulled one of those 10,000 kilometer January training
regimens and came into season full gas when the real pros were suing
people, cutting satellite radio deals, and ****ing their celebrity
girlfriends from behind. CSC went RAMBO early under General Riis, and
this will come back to haunt them. Nobody rides the Tour or Giro in
camoflage anyway.


3. Races you cruisers use as gloryholes are races that real GC riders
use only to help their mechanics dial in their seat height. Lances uses
Criterium Int'l to see how fast his Internet connection is at his place
in Girona when he checks results on cyclingnews.


If winning a race against ghost competition causes you to pump the top
of a bottle of Curel, then you ****s must also think Mattis and the
Webcor gumby warriors are really putting the hurt on Vino and Pink at
San Fran GP. Make no mistake: Kaz and Guido fly the Airbus into San
Francisco just so they can take their wives and kids to see the killer
whales splash water in the big fish tank by the coast.


Some of you flatliners in here are gonna have your feeding tubes pulled
unless you start showing some electrical activity.


Take care,


Magilla

..........
http://groups-beta.google.com/group/...4cc0456f09ec6b

"DA74" wrote ...

He later makes a rather astute observation ...

Rather, with astute, is weak. Nevermind that your love partner knows how to
spell pique, one does not say "rather astute." You simply say "astute" for
the full journalistic effect.

Feel free to post questions.

No thanks.

JF