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#1
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Ode to the puncture gods
Oh puncture gods why have you forsaken me
Surely your wrath is sufficient for commuting days three Flat tyre one, of gigantic proportions Scared the rowing girls into great screams and contortions The bang was so loud sent them all into fits And blew my rear tyre, clean into bits A long trek gave me blisters on both heels and one thumb Returned to find my bike pump stolen by skateboarding scum The kind souls at Peter Moore saved the day On an old tyre slowly continued home on my way Day two saw me stranded again on Southbank Cursing the puncture gods, giving no thanks An old tube, twice patched, at last had decayed Two days in a row commuting left me waylaid Mini-pump gave no pressure, my anger was sore Thank god once again, a short ride to Peter Moore Day three of commuting no thoughts of more trouble How quickly the puncture goods would burst that bubble Swearing and cursing and heaving a great sigh See a flat tyre I arrive at work crying "Why God Why?" Change the tyre after work, new pump works a trick After plenty of practice I change tubes quite quick Into the hot afternoon, say "These things come in threes" But at Kew junction from the tyre hear a terrible wheeze Surely I must be due one good break But looking down at the tyre, cry FFS Had enough by now, the bike ambulance I call A slow trip home has now completely stalled With time to wait, in the tyre what do I see Not one piece of glass, not two, but three It is true on occasion, the puncture gods I have taunted But karma has struck and now I am haunted Bike ambulance fees are becoming too high My wife has threatened end of commuting is nigh I promise in my worship I never will falter And weekly sacrifice new tubes, in my shed, on an altar. DaveB |
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#2
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Ode to the puncture gods
DaveB Wrote: Oh puncture gods why have you forsaken m Surely your wrath is sufficient for commuting days thre Flat tyre one, of gigantic proportion Scared the rowing girls into great screams and contortion The bang was so loud sent them all into fit And blew my rear tyre, clean into bit A long trek gave me blisters on both heels and one thum Returned to find my bike pump stolen by skateboarding scu The kind souls at Peter Moore saved the da On an old tyre slowly continued home on my wa Day two saw me stranded again on Southban Cursing the puncture gods, giving no thank An old tube, twice patched, at last had decaye Two days in a row commuting left me waylai Mini-pump gave no pressure, my anger was sor Thank god once again, a short ride to Peter Moor Day three of commuting no thoughts of more troubl How quickly the puncture goods would burst that bubbl Swearing and cursing and heaving a great sig See a flat tyre I arrive at work crying "Why God Why? Change the tyre after work, new pump works a tric After plenty of practice I change tubes quite quic Into the hot afternoon, say "These things come in threes But at Kew junction from the tyre hear a terrible wheez Surely I must be due one good brea But looking down at the tyre, cry FF Had enough by now, the bike ambulance I cal A slow trip home has now completely stalle With time to wait, in the tyre what do I se Not one piece of glass, not two, but thre It is true on occasion, the puncture gods I have taunte But karma has struck and now I am haunte Bike ambulance fees are becoming too hig My wife has threatened end of commuting is nig I promise in my worship I never will falte And weekly sacrifice new tubes, in my shed, on an altar DaveB it helps to be able to visualize one's enemy http://home.iprimus.com.au/adenhollander/pf_1.gi -- flyingdutc |
#3
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Ode to the puncture gods
DaveB wrote:
snip hehe nice work Dave.. Perhaps you should keep an eye out for glass in your path? Swap your tyres for some bullet-proof ones? Solid? Hopefully with the tyre sacrifices you are making now, you will have plenty of puncture free commuting in the future.. hippy |
#4
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Ode to the puncture gods
DaveB wrote:
Oh puncture gods why have you forsaken me Surely your wrath is sufficient for commuting days three Flat tyre one, of gigantic proportions Scared the rowing girls into great screams and contortions The bang was so loud sent them all into fits And blew my rear tyre, clean into bits A long trek gave me blisters on both heels and one thumb Returned to find my bike pump stolen by skateboarding scum The kind souls at Peter Moore saved the day On an old tyre slowly continued home on my way Day two saw me stranded again on Southbank Cursing the puncture gods, giving no thanks An old tube, twice patched, at last had decayed Two days in a row commuting left me waylaid Mini-pump gave no pressure, my anger was sore Thank god once again, a short ride to Peter Moore Day three of commuting no thoughts of more trouble How quickly the puncture goods would burst that bubble Swearing and cursing and heaving a great sigh See a flat tyre I arrive at work crying "Why God Why?" Change the tyre after work, new pump works a trick After plenty of practice I change tubes quite quick Into the hot afternoon, say "These things come in threes" But at Kew junction from the tyre hear a terrible wheeze Surely I must be due one good break But looking down at the tyre, cry FFS Had enough by now, the bike ambulance I call A slow trip home has now completely stalled With time to wait, in the tyre what do I see Not one piece of glass, not two, but three It is true on occasion, the puncture gods I have taunted But karma has struck and now I am haunted Bike ambulance fees are becoming too high My wife has threatened end of commuting is nigh I promise in my worship I never will falter And weekly sacrifice new tubes, in my shed, on an altar. DaveB Greetings, This sounds familiar. Once, many years ago, I wrote an article called `Like to see my Flat?' along much the same lines. I pulled am embedded piece of glass out of my rear tyre last week before it got to the tube, which is a clear sign the tyre is softening and I need a new one. I have had two valves rip out of the tubes in the past 14 months as well. C'est la vie. Invent something that doesn't go flat with the resilence and other qualities of a pneumatic tyre and we'll be interested. Regards, Ray. |
#5
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Ode to the puncture gods
hippy wrote:
DaveB wrote: snip hehe nice work Dave.. Perhaps you should keep an eye out for glass in your path? Yeah I generally do but coming up to Kew junction gets a little tight with the traffic so I tend to watch the cars more than the road. Even then glass usually stands out coz it is usually quite a few pieces together. DaveB "enjoying a day at home" |
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