Big Bertha Thing balloon

Big Bertha Thing balloon
Cosmic Ray Series
Possible Real World System Constructs
http://web.onetel.com/~tonylance/balloon.html
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The "Monstre" Balloon

From the book
The Ingoldsby Legends
by the Rev. Richard H. Barham
Published by Richard Edward King,
88 Curtain Road,
London E.C.
Inscribed;-
Barbara Death
From Aunt Emma
March 6th 1921
(C) Copyright Tony Lance 1999
Distribute complete and free of charge to comply.


Big Bertha Thing welfare

29th April 1999
Operations Manager,
The Benefits Agency,

Dear Sirs,

Further to your letter of 28th April 1999,
regarding a list of questions, on the possibility of my working at all.

I will attempt to answer your questions, in order as listed in your letter.

1.I am not working, I am just pottering arround on the internet.
I last registered for course work with the Open University in
1997. This would have involved 6 hours work per week.
I could only manage half-an-hour per day, so totally failed
to do the work or complete the course. Not even one homework
assignment was completed.
In August 1997, I bought a second hand computer for 150 pounds
sterling, and was given free access to the Open University
computer along local telephone lines at a call charge of
1p per minute.
Since that time, I managed to build up a body of correspondence,
within the limits of half-an-hour per day mental or physical work.
In January 1999, this correspondence was transfered by me to my
web site; www.bertha.ndirect.co.uk(since disabled.)
I have to pay 14 pounds and 9p per month for this site.

2.Nobody suggested it, it just happened.
3.My doctor does not know that I have a web site.
4.See answer 1 for description of my activities.
No job is being done, so no job description exists.

5.No employer exists or payments have been recieved.
6.I can think straight for half-an-hour per day.
The rest of the time is spent pottering arround.
I can do one side of A4 paper of mathematics
or computer work per day.

7.On any day free of a major shopping expedition,
I can do half-an-hour of original work and
about an hour of copy typing at non-typist speeds.

8.My principle interest is a 50 year scientific project,
which was started 30 years ago.
If I could spend 48 hours per week doing it I would.
However half-an-hour work and an hour pottering,
seems to be all I can manage and
at that not every day of the week.
Due to my condition, I asked Mrs. Pam S....,
a fellow Open University student to be the project archivist
for my work on the Open University computer.
She agreed and kept the archive of the correspondence
which is now on my web site. This is both an unusual
request and an unusually generous service
to a fellow student on incapacity benefit.

9.Zero income for as far as the eye can see.
10.Not applicable, zero wages or income.
11.August 1997 and is ongoing.

I trust that the above will put the internet feeding frenzy
of the newspaper hype into some perspective.

Thank you,
Tony Lance



Big Bertha Thing fusion

What is the cake-mix recipe for a fusion reactor?
1. There is no such thing as a self-sustaining fusion reactor.
2. There is no such thing as cold fusion.
3. That leaves high energy particle physics.
4. With the puffing billy principle of steam engine fame.
5. Take the two-ring medical electron cyclotron as the prototype.
6. Add another ring to it.
7. Dismantle the first two rings.
8. Update it to use a ball-bearing instead of an electron.
9. Add a steam iron.
10. Add an electrostatic charge generator.
11. Add a space satellite ion thruster.
12. Prove the existence of a magnetic field, which is weak at newtonian speeds
and strong at Einsteinian speeds.
13. This was proved by the costermonger in Big Bertha Thing spider.(see below)
14. It is directly proportional to momentum. (Memomagnetism)
15. It was missed, by science in Big Bertha Thing coil.(see above)
16. It was missed, by science in Einstein-Haas.
17. It was proved, by the two-ring medical cyclotron, with two different
electron masses. (Error Margin doubles to 4.4d-08 MeV)
18. Add electrostatic charge to ball-bearing.
19. Accelerate in first ring.
20. Kill charge with ion thruster and move to second ring.
21. Accelerate in second ring.
22. Move to third ring for minor speed adjustments, at near light speed.
23. Add a puff of steam.
24. Put plasma through heat exchangers.
25. Dismantle first two rings.


Big Bertha Thing transit

1. Take two fusion reactors.
2. Add two degauss cages.
3. Add length of High Tension cable.
4. Remove puff technology.
5. Replace mass transit system.
6. The experimental evidence is theological.
7. Bi-location is another one that the theologians got wrong.
8. Teleportation requires a saint, a sick person or both. (non-bio substitute)
9. Each acts as a capacitor, which builds up a charge.
10. Every energy saving light bulb has one.
11. It requires two doors.
12. It does not need a computer, which did not exist for many instances.


Big Bertha Thing orbiter

1. Take three fusion reactors.
2. Remove puff technology.
3. Fix reactors at right angles to each other.
4. Attach to nuclear submarine.
5. Remove propellers.
6. Add space sattelite ion thrusters.
7. Position at trailing point, where Earth travels arround the sun.
8. Take off for Earth orbit.
9. Move round Earth orbit to opposite point.
10. Make landing from Earth orbit.


Big Bertha Thing hyperspace

1. Take four or eight fusion reactors.
2. Arrange like juke-box carrousel.
3. Point at nearest star, off by a degree...


Big Bertha Thing spider
Cosmic Ray Series
Possible Real World System Constructs
http://web.onetel.com/~tonylance/spider.html
Access page JPG 11K Image
Astrophysics net ring Access site
Newsgroup Reviews including uk.rec.cycling

Drawing of a clockwork spider wheel and hairpin.

Extract from Introductory Chapter;-
The "Spider tops," which are frequently sold in the streets of London,
consist of a heavy little disc mounted on a spindle (Fig. XIV.).
When the disc has been set spinning a small curved piece of
metal is placed to touch the toe, and at once begins to slide round it,
first the side (a) in the figure, and then the side (b),
the motion continuing backwards and forwards till the top comes to rest.
The fact is that the toe is magnetic, and this being the case it is easy
to see that the rolling of the toe on the side of the metal produces
the motion.

From the book
An Elementary Treatment of the Theory of
Spinning Tops and Gyroscopic Motion.
By Harold Crabtree M.A.
Formerly Scholar of Pembroke College, Cambridge
Assistant Master at Charterhouse
Longmans, Green and Co. 1923
First Edition 1909
Second Edition 1914
New Impression 1923
(C) Copyright Tony Lance 1998
Distribute complete and free of charge to comply.


Big Bertha Thing fact

Anything but a fact, changes the face of twentieth century science.
1. No iron moons and planetary cores.
2. No red shift measure of speed.
3. No Patrick Moore star at 95% the speed of light.
4. Muons arrive on earth.
5. Relativity is like an imaginary number; useful but not real.
6. Einstein-Haas gives a field strength 1/10000th the electric field.
7. Wave particle duality is a field effect.
8. Schroedinger is an approximation.

Who has the wit to check the fact?

In ,
Tony Lance tweaked the Babbage-Engine to
tell us:

Who has the wit to check the fact?

Not you, obv.

--
Dave Larrington
http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk
God was my co-pilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had
to eat Him.